Overlord
by Chibi-Reaper
Summary: A little experiment... A Naruto, Disgaea crossover where Laharl claims Naruto as his successor. Check it out, leave a review.
1. Chapter 1

Overlord

xxx

Laharl leaned back into his throne and stared at the ceiling of his throne room. To put bluntly... he was bored. Extremely so. For centuries, he had been the undisputed Overlord of his Makai... Nobody even considered challenging his rule anymore.

Where did that leave him?

Sure he was in charge, and would be for quite some time, but being Overlord was surprisingly far less fun than he'd expected. For the first hundred years or so, there seemed to be a new challenger every week... first the Baal incidents, then when Etna ran off to Veldime because he'd eaten her last pudding, with the whole Zenon thing... the excitement had never died down for a while... But eventually, fewer and fewer were willing to challenge him. After all, he was the almighty Overlord! These days, he was lucky to recieve a challenger every twenty or thirty years, and they were usually headstrong idiots that thought since they'd never lost a battle wherever they'd come from, they were invincible. It would usually take only a single attack to brutally demolish them. No fun at all...

Of course there were demons and monsters out there that were strong enough to give him something of a challenge, but most of them were perfectly happy fighting each other instead of him, and would likely run away if he ever happened to drop into the middle of a battle... And it would be 'unseemly' should he disguise himself, just to be able to fight someone. His councilors could become extremely irritating should he do anything 'unseemly towards his status as Overlord'. So that was out.

A thought struck his mind... a sudden stroke of brilliance cutting through his boredom.

It would be unseemly for him to disguise himself and hunt down fights... unless he was training himself a successor to take his place! The councilors had been nagging at him for several decades to either find a mate and bear himself an heir, or select someone to train as his successor... He would have to think carefully about this.

He stood up, casually walking out of the throne room, ignoring the shocked cries of the senile councilors... nobody ever came to him with their problems anyway, the whole court thing was just a show to assure the councilors that he was following traditions, like a proper overlord.

If he thought any of the feeble old men would be able to put up a fight, he would debate just killing them all... but weak as they were, there would be no point to it.

Now... Someone to train as a successor... someone weak, so that the training wasn't too short... a human would be perfect, but the stupid councilors would never accept one as successor, and there was the problem of their short lifespan. He had been completely shocked when Gordon had died of old age less than a century after they'd first met. No, a human might be capable of growing powerful enough to achieve Overlord levels of strength, but they wouldn't live long enough to be a viable candidate. A demon would work, but if he chose a demon from his Makai then word would get around too fast, and his chosen one would be killed by a more powerful demon in the hopes of stealing the position as successor, sending him back to square one. He couldn't take a demon from someone else's Makai either... that would cause all sorts of questions, leading up to the same problem.

What did that leave... Half-demons? No... it was rare for a demon to willingly breed with a human... the last one was a couple hundred years ago, and he was living in peace in a human world. He was also far too powerful for Laharl's purposes. So... just what did that leave? Not an angel certainly. That was out of the question... and patently ridiculous.

How depressing... and this had been such a good idea too, just like ten years ago when he decided to send a search party to follow the Bijuu that had defected...

He froze, before turning and jogging down a different hallway.

"ETNA!"

He slid to a stop in front of a specific door, and kicked it open. Etna was... snoring loudly, tangled up in her bedsheets. His eye twitched and he turned around... seconds later he had returned to the room, with a large bucket.

"Etna... this is your last warning... get up, or else!"

She continued sleeping, and a wide grin crossed his face as he lifted the bucket.

A shrill scream erupted throughout the entirety of the castle.

Etna sat up on the edge of her bed, wringing the chilly water out of her hair and glaring at Laharl.

"What the hell do you want, Laharl? You know that I always take a nap at this time of day!"

"Do you? I hadn't noticed because... THE STUPID COUNCILORS MAKE ME SIT IN A CHAIR IN AN EMPTY ROOM FOR HOURS ON END!"

"IF THEY'RE THAT IRRITATING THEN JUST KILL THEM, MORON!'

"Tch... I'm thinking about it. Maybe if Baal came back and possessed one of them, it would be worth the time it would take to kill them. But anyway... I need to know what happened to the reports on the Bijuu that left after my old man died."

"You... WOKE ME UP FOR THAT! Sheesh... you... gah... It's in the file room, somewhere under 'B', just like _anyone_ in the castle could have told you."

Laharl nodded and left, leaving Etna free to flop back down into bed and finish her nap... right into the wet spot.

"DAMMIT!"

xxx

By the time Etna caught up to Laharl, he'd already located the folder holding the reports he'd wanted and spread them out all over the table. She stood behind him, reading over his shoulder as he seperated the reports into two piles. The larger one, he slipped back into the sleeve and set aside.

"Ah... Laharl? Is there a point to this?"

"... Ten years ago, to relieve the monotony, I sent a search party out after the nine Bijuu, led by Kyuubi, that left to go terrorize a human world after my father died. My hopes were that, with any luck, all nine of them would be rampaging around, and I'd have an excuse to go bash their heads in... as a sign of good faith to the human worlds of course. Unfortunately... They had almost all been defeated already, by the humans of the place they had chosen at random. Not killed... but sealed away. Into things... jewels... weapons... and more recently, humans. After reviewing the reports I reluctantly decided it would not be worth it to hunt down the only Bijuu that had remained unsealed. A few years later I sent them back for a follow-up report, to see if any of the seals locking the Bijuu away had begun to weaken, reasoning that if the seals broke, releasing even one Bijuu from its prison, then it could be used as an excuse to allow me to hunt them down... but the seals were holding perfectly."

Laharl sighed as he leaned back for a moment, then returned to poring over the reports.

"It's been years since I've had a decent fight... I know full well that there are beings, human and demon, that can even yet challenge me, but they respect me... and fear me... too much for them to seek me out for battle, and should I seek them out they would either flee or forfeit. I cannot seek them out in disguise either... unless I was training a successor in secret, and did not want the fact to get around."

Etna caught on swiftly.

"But if you want to train someone in secret, you can't just choose anyone, or it will be noticed and riots will break out over who was selected."

"Exactly... that cuts out almost all demons. Humans can become powerful, but they don't live long enough to serve as successor, and angels... Flonne was a fluke. No other angel would willingly stay in a world inhabited by demons... even Flonne only came at first because she was ordered to. I considered half-breeds, but there aren't many of those, and most of them are more powerful than I want. I was about to scrap the idea when I remembered these... the Bijuu sealed into humans. Humans backed by demonic entities... one of these would be perfect."

He lifted one and set it aside.

"From what the reports say, this one's mind seems to have shattered under the strain of a weaker seal than should have been used... add that to the fact that the Bijuu sealed within him wasn't the sanest of the nine to begin with... and he's useless."

He lifted a second, considered it a moment, then sighed and set it on top of the first.

"She may actually have worked out well... but by now she's too set in her role, and she wouldn't work anymore. A pity... she seems to have the most control over the demon within her."

He picked up the last report and smiled.

"This one... The seal on him is slowly destroying the Bijuu within him, unlike the less powerful seal on the other two... a seal that apparently required an extremely powerful sacrifice to be performed. Unlike the other two, this one is almost completely untrained, a definite plus. Almost all of the humans of his village shower him with hatred, unlike the other two, who were feared... give him even a little attention, and he'll be utterly devoted to me. I'll have to try not to abuse that... too much."

Laharl smirked as he stood up, tossing the report back up on the table.

"Etna, find Flonne and then notify the councilors that... I have decided to take a little vacation."

xxx

Naruto slumped into his bed, staring at the ceiling. Most of the day, it was easy enough to let his mask control his every action, running around like an idiot and flirting pathetically with Sakura. While people were watching, he had incentive to act 'normal'. But times like this... when he was alone in his ratty apartment, staring at the cracked ceiling and peeling wallpaper... his mask would slip and crack, revealing his depression.

He'd been excited when Iruka had passed him, letting him become a Genin... the first step to his dream of becoming Hokage... And then when he'd been put on a team with Sakura, his mask had been overjoyed... putting up with Sasuke would be a small price to pay, right?

But first there was the 'real' Genin exam... underneath his mask, he'd realized the purpose of the test only a minute after it began... but noone else did. Naturally, when they all failed, it was _him_, the dead-last, that was tied to the log. He'd been lucky that Sasuke had finally figured it out then... but it was likely that Kakashi was grasping at straws to pass the precious 'Uchiha Survivor' at that point.

Then there had been weeks of pointless D-rank missions, for the villagers who had only praise for the Uchiha, and scorn for the demon bearer. Even Kakashi... he never outright badmouthed or scorned Naruto, but he never had anything good to say about him either, while he would throw some praise to Sasuke and Sakura now and again. It was depressing... he seemed to expect them to train on their own, but the Shinobi library would never allow him inside... Even if the Sandaime was with him it only bought him a little time and he was closely watched, to ensure he got exactly what he came for... and nothing more.

Then came their first C-rank mission... half his pack was occupied with things that didn't fit in Sasuke's... Spare kunai and shuriken, and a couple specially made shuriken as well. The bastard seemed to enjoy idly rubbing Naruto's nose in the fact that no matter how much money he made off the stupid D-ranks... if the villagers decided to pay him at all... none of the more well-respected weapon shops or shinobi supply stores would even allow him entry. Did they think that he wore the same orange jumpsuit every day just because he liked the color orange? His mask was good, but wasn't that a little much?

They'd gone through all sorts of hell on that mission, C turned A-rank, and all Kakashi had taught them as a group was how to climb trees. At first he'd been extremely impressed, but after everything was said and done, a few subtle inquiries from a henge'd bunshin had revealed that the tree walking technique had been taught to the other rookies... on their first day as Genin.

And now, after doing the day's D-rank, Kakashi would train them... sort of. In reality, he would work heavily with Sasuke, teaching him how to use his eyes, new fire techniques, and polishing his taijutsu while he sent Sakura and Naruto to the other end of the field, to work on stamina and chakra control... 'or something.' Sakura had no problem with this, running up and down a tree once or twice before calling it a day before crossing the field to cheer and drool over Sasuke, who would sometimes remove his shirt for the training. Sure, he claimed he didn't want fangirls drooling over him, but he certainly took every opportunity to flaunt himself for them!

He grimaced and glanced over at the calendar on his wall, before sighing and returning his gaze to the ceiling. Only a few months until the Chunnin exams... he had no doubt that Kakashi would enter them, and the only one of them that _might_ be ready would be Sasuke... That exam was a deathtrap... fully prepared Genin could wind up dying if they were unfortunate... He and Sakura would have to be _extremely_ lucky to survive it. Naturally, if he, Sakura, or both died it wouldn't matter at all to Kakashi or Sasuke... only that if they died at the wrong time, it might affect the Uchiha's chances for promotion.

Naruto shivered lightly. Was this it? He had done his best to train himself... but it wasn't enough. Nobody would willingly train him... not even Kakashi. If properly trained Genin died in that exam, what possible chance did he have of surviving it?

Of course there was always... he shook his head, even as the raspy, growling voice he had grown so familiar with since the incident in Wave. In his rage, he had used the Kyuubi's power, opening up a link between the two that the monster could use to speak directly into his mind.

**"I can help human... for a price. Kill for me, and I will lend you the power to keep yourself alive."**

Naruto grimaced, focusing on drowning out the voice, burying himself in random thoughts and memories.

**"Human... kill for me... spill the blood of these concieted peasants... let it flow freely on the streets... human... kill for me... I can give you power..."**

Naruto clenched his eyes shut, wrapping his hand around the unwrapped hilt of his third-rate kunai. It was sharp, but bore several faults that could cause it to crack when struck, or shatter completely if hit exactly the right way.

**"Human..."**

"Human..."

Naruto's eyes snapped wide open, and the kunai flew from his hand directly towards the intruding voice as he sat up and stared after it into the shadows.

A length of tattered red fabric emerged, deflecting the kunai into a wall and billowing in place as a short, blue haired man in shorts stepped forward. He could feel the demon within him reacting in shock and recognition... and fear. What could make a demon like Kyuubi know fear?

**"Human! Kill him! You must kill him! Kill him before he kills us! Kill him now!"**

Naruto ignored him, choosing to stare at the intruder in curiosity instead. In the back of his mind, he considered reverting to his mask, but decided against it. He'd never seen this person before, so it wouldn't matter how he acted anyway, and...

"It's afraid of you."

The intruder slowly arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"He speaks to you? Or does he borrow your senses... looking through your eyes, and hearing through your ears? No matter... Kyuubi, leader of the Nine Bijuu, you abandoned your post as head of the Royal Guards during the tumult following the unexpected death of Overlord Krichevskoy. In so doing, you were critical in allowing the poisoning of his son, inducing his long sleep. Now I'm ashamed to say that I am willing to allow you your life... but on my terms."

Naruto's eyes widened as a rush of Kyuubi's chakra flooded his body, focusing in his head and taking control of his mouth and tongue as his eyes shifted to an evil red.

**"Speak quickly... Laharl-sama. I can only overpower the seal for so long, and my remaining lifespan shortens as we talk. I have no desire to be lost to oblivion."**

"Heh. So you do know that the seal was specifically designed to kill you slowly. However... I can remove you. Not your power, and a new body will have to be created for you. You'll be knocked down to the most basic of levels, but you'll be alive. I think you should know... at the seal's current rate of assimilation, you have perhaps a decade at best before total absorbtion and oblivion.

There was silence as Kyuubi apparently thought hard about the offer.

**"This deal... what do you get out of it?"**

"Hmm... I'm looking for a successor, and need someone that I can train for the post in secret. Your vessel, with most of your power left within him and sustaining his longevity... he was one of the few people to fit the bill. Now I can still train him with you inside... but you'll still have only a decade to live left before the seal finishes.

Or I could just go on to the next on my list. Your call."

When the demon spoke through Naruto again, it was almost a plaintive whine.

**"I'll be weak?"**

"Yes... but you'll have an entire lifetime to grow powerful again."

**"...Fine. Do it."**

Naruto's eyes widened in horror as Laharl's hand suddenly lit up in light purple flames and plunged directly into his stomach, through the seal. The pain... it was excruciating.

He blacked out.

xxx

A.N.

Ah, a little break from the same things. This is actually an idea I've been floating around my head for some time. My favorite video game crossed with one of my favorite manga's... there are only three, maybe four crosses between these two last I checked. It just makes sense to me though, Disgaea and Naruto. Let's just see how it works out.


	2. Chapter 2

Overlord

xxx

Everything was dark and quiet... no, not quiet. He could hear something, a vague muttering, surrounding him. He slowly opened his eyes, staring directly ahead.

Crimson eyes stared back.

"GWAAH!"

"Get out of his face Flonne..."

"Ah... Sorry... But I was checking to see if he'd healed properly."

**"Bah... I can't see why you would want him. Only a few seconds of pain, and he passed out."**

Naruto's eyes widened... he KNEW that voice! His gaze snapped to where the voice came from... and he nearly fell over at the sight of a tiny, fist-sized fox kitling with beady, red eyes.

"Gah... so... so... so CUTE!"

**"What? No! Not again! First that Fallen Angel, and now this!? Laharl... sama... Could you not have made my new body more... Imposing?"**

Laharl shrugged as Naruto goggled over Kyuubi, the cute, single-tailed ball of fluff.

"Well... I suppose I _could_ have... but I didn't feel like it. Besides, as you grow more powerful, your body will grow and become more impressive... a bit of incentive to increase your power levels, hmm?"

**"... Bastard."**

"Naturally. I am a Makai Overlord... you should have been more detailed in our bargain if you didn't wish to regret it."

**"..."**

"Hahaha! You see? You have noone to blame but yourself. Your fears of oblivion made you far too easy to outsmart."

Kyuubi didn't even bother to answer, instead turning to the wall and curling into a small ball of fluff while Laharl smirked at him. It was too much. He slumped back down into his bed.

"Ah! Laharl-san, he's passed out again!"

"Fix him, love-freak."

"Oh? Right! HEAL!"

Naruto's eyes snapped back open as the soft green light sank into him. He glanced around his room... yep, still there. Tiny fuzz-ball, wierd blonde, and the guy with the creepy cape.

"You're still here... why?"

Laharl arched an eyebrow.

"Oh? Didn't you hear when I was negotiating with your inner demon? I had considered preparing a long speech to sway you, but what would be the point? It's simple fact... the humans in this village despise you. They simply will not allow you to gain power... the little you can gain will have to be snatched in small bits and pieces. I've watched you for the last twenty four hours... so I know it's true. I would dare say... the people in charge of selecting who you're teamed with placed you on your current squad specifically because your sensei would only give you the barest minimum of training, and that only when absolutely neccessary. I however, have found myself in need of a student... someone to train. With Kyuubi's power locked within you, and with his... distruptive influence removed, you fit the bill perfectly."

Flonne blinked.

"Ah... Laharl-san? I thought you said you weren't going to give a long speech?"

Laharl slammed his fist into the top of her head, sending her directly to the ground.

"Don't contradict me. Now then, will you accept? Or should I take my offer elsewhere, and leave you to your own devices?"

Naruto glanced down to the dazed Flonne, then to the ball of fluff that had apparently drifted off into a nap, and then slowly his gaze drifted off to the calendar, still hanging on the wall, still counting the days until...

"You... what do you get out of this? I'm not stupid enough to believe that you're only here to help me... You're a demon."

Rather than being offended, Laharl's smirk merely grew broader.

"_Exactly_! But the thing is, for once I'm being brutally honest. You see, I'm not just _any_ demon... I'm a Makai Overlord. Surprisingly, once the populace stops trying to rebel against you, the job is rather dull... I'm only going to train you as a form of entertainment, to see if you actually can make it as my successor... Don't get me wrong though. Should you accept, I intend to train you to the best of my ability... though you may find the training grueling. Torturous even."

There was a glint in Laharl's eyes, as though he was looking forward to showing him just how 'torturous' his training could be. Even so... Naruto's eyes strayed once more to the calendar. That deathtrap of an exam was still only a couple of months away... could he learn enough to keep himself alive on his own? All he had on his side was a single clone technique... and he could stick to trees. He could replace himself with a log, and he could henge into a naked girl. He had to face it... this opportunity was a godsend, despite who it came from. His eyes flickered into a stony resolve, and he nodded curtly.

"You agree...? Excellent. Now for the preparations... but before we begin, you must understand that I am _not_ training you as a ninja... I am training you as my successor! That involves far more than just physical abilities... you'll find out soon enough. For the moment... To undertake my training, you'll need to be far better in tune with the demonic energies flowing through you."

He prodded Flonne with his foot, and she was instantly up and alert again.

"That seal would make things difficult... but I can modify it easily. Change one little mark, and rather than dividing the energies and allowing a small amount to spurt through now and again, it will forcefully merge the two energies, changing your body here and there as necessary to accomodate the new power. If Kyuubi had still been within you, your mind would have been completely erased, leaving an opening for him to inhabit... but his lifespan would have remained the same. Now... It will be... the most painful experience you could possibly imagine. The very cells of your body will be tearing themselves to shreds, reforming themselves, and then tearing themselves apart again. But don't worry... Flonne here is the best healer in my entire Makai... and she'll be on hand to make sure the pain doesn't kill you or drive you mad. Now lie back down and hold still."

Naruto was sweating heavily as Kyuubi-chan turned around and began watching intently.

"Ah... Um... Er... I think... I've changed my mind..."

"Too late!"

xxx

Naruto's world was pain. After his change of heart was brutally and immediately denied, he had leapt for the window, but Laharl's creepy cape had caught him around the ankle and slammed him into the floor before dropping him in his bed. The impact stunned him momentarily, leaving an opening for Laharl to surround his hand with the purple energy again and slam it directly onto the seal, which flared bright red as he poured out massive waves of power to affect the seal.

Nearby Shinobi would narrow their eyes at the brief wave of anxiety and nervousness that suddenly rushed over them, but within the hour they'd all completely forgotten about it, or decided to ignore it. After all, there had been no apparent attack, and they hadn't sensed any chakra, so it probably wasn't important, right? Just a symptom of stress and a too-large workload.

Meanwhile, Naruto was thrashing in agony. He opened his mouth to scream, but Laharl, acting quickly, stuffed a wadded up cloth into his open mouth, muffling his cries of pain. After the first few minutes, he began to wonder if it would be easier to just die and get it over with... But every time his thrashes would weaken, or his eyes would begin to glaze, Flonne's green magic would seep into his body and return him to his agony.

A long time later, an eternity of pain compressed into a few short hours, his spasms slowed... lessened... and he drifted off into an exhausted slumber. Laharl nodded and scribbled something onto a scrap of paper, and Flonne cast a few spells to scan and see if there had been any complications that needed to be fixed... Kyuubi-chan just looked dissappointed that the torture hadn't lasted longer.

"Ah... Laharl-san? Was this... really neccessary?"

Laharl blinked at Flonne's unexpected question, then shrugged.

"Not really, but it makes things easier... for me. Anyway, have Etna's Prinnies finished? This... shabby apartment doesn't fit my needs at all, and Naruto-kun needs to learn the privileges of his new rank."

"Oh... I think they're done. Or they should be... Etna bought the plot of land this morning, just inside the village walls, but somewhat secluded, and the Prinnies are hard workers, so..."

Laharl shrugged and pinned his hastily scribbled note on the wall, directly in front of the door where it couldn't possibly be missed.

"Take him there then."

"Ah? What? Carry him?"

"What did you expect... you are the servant, remember?"

"... Laharl-san is so mean..."

Despite her protests, Flonne easily lifted Naruto and stretched out her wings, flapping carefully through the darkness over Konoha. Laharl turned to Kyuubi-chan.

"So... how long do you intend to remain here?"

**"Hmph... In my weakened state? I don't intend to stick around this village, or even this country for very long. The humans here make a habit of catching every fox they see anywhere near their village, and cutting them into little pieces. Apparently they view it as vengeance of a sort, for when I attacked their village. Normally I would be amused at the human foolishness, but in my current state... After I've left this country, I'll gather my strength and open a small gate to this world's Makai... As far as I can tell, the inhabitants are much weaker than normal there... a perfect place for me to raise my strength a little. Once I've got a decent amount of power back... I'm not sure. Things could become... problematic, if certain of my acquaintances get wind of my reincarnation. Some of them were troublesome to deal with even before I'd come to this world... Thinking of facing them now... Heh. I haven't felt fear for millenia... but that thought makes cold chills run down my spine. I think... I shall take a new name, and not let anyone realize that I am a reincarnation rather than a first incarnation... perhaps I'll even seal away..."**

Kyuubi-chan fell silent for a while, as Laharl glanced out the window, looking at the stars.

"A good plan, but I would make a few failsafes as well... There was an incident I was involved in, a few centuries ago... A powerful Overlord, named Zenon had a similar problem, only her Makai was filled with demons that were extremely stubborn, and were in an almost constant state of rebellion. She got sick of the constant battle, and left to a faraway human world to reincarnate herself and lock away her memories... Unfortunately, one of her more stubborn enemies followed her and took advantage of the situation. Long story short, things turned into a complete mess that ended up being mostly fixed by the intervention of an extremely young, but very powerful demon... one who had been raised as, and honestly believed himself to be a human. Things came to a head when they faced off against the usurper, who had even stolen her previous name, 'Zenon', and they were put into dire enough and familiar enough straits that her sealed up memories shattered through the mental barrier long enough to completely destroy him... and things seemed to be fine. But only a few, short years later, the weakened mental barrier completely broke, and she slipped into madness... her sealed memories warring with her new persona. People around her noticed she was acting strangely, but thought nothing of it... after all, she had just become pregnant with her husband's first child... the demon who believed himself human... mood swings and odd behavior were to be expected, natural even.

Then... people began dissappearing. Just one or two, here and there. One or two people, here and there, who'd strayed out past the town fields for whatever reason. A couple at one point, who'd gone into a forest to be alone. Their bodies would turn up, days after they'd dissappeared, maimed and mutilated to the point where they were barely recognizable. At first, the humans thought it was some rabid beast, and sent hunters to track it... when the hunters died, they decided it must be a poweful demon, left over from the false Zenon fiasco, and sent the human-demon, Adell, who had become something of a hero, to hunt it down. He spent weeks searching... until...

His adoptive brother, who claimed himself as the now mad woman's servant as his own preference, began to put the clues together. She was always missing when the dissappearances occured, and when she returned, little things would be out of place. Her hair would be mussed up, or there would be a small streak of blood on her clothes or on her hands... odd in itself, as when she fought, she used a distance weapon. He confronted her, just as Adell came back from his failed hunt. He was back just in time to watch, as his beloved wife brutally maimed and murdered his adoptive brother.

He immediately sent people... mercenaries he'd hired years ago and kept in touch with... to chase her down, and capture her. I myself went with them, along with two of my own vassals, and we brought her back in chains. The humans were in a state of shock... they had known and liked Zenon's reincarnation, this was completely unexpected to them. They locked her away, and hired the best mental healers money could afford for her... but nothing worked. Eventually, they came to the sad conclusion that, like a mad dog, she had to be put down. After a lengthy argument, Adell broke down and agreed... with two stipulations. The first, that they would wait a few months, for her child to be born, and to see if she'd snap out of it on her own.

The second... was that he be the one to end her life.

I attended the execution ceremony... it was one of the saddest events I have ever experienced. She had given birth only hours before, and was still pale and exhausted from the experience, but it didn't stop her from frothing lightly at the mouth and making occasional weak lunges at the people around her. The only one she wouldn't try to attack was Adell, and he knew it, and it only made it harder for him. To his credit, he didn't break down until after he'd done what was necessary... and nobody begrudged him his tears. He stuck around for fifteen years after that... long enough to make sure his baby daughter could take care of herself, using both her fists and the weapons her mother had used, and then..."

Laharl paused.

"I'm not actually sure what happened then... he simply disappeared. Maybe he left, because he couldn't make himself stay any longer... maybe he joined his wife in death. I don't know... and I was never told. I'm also not sure why I've told you all this... I'm not usually so long-winded, forgive me."

He turned towards Kyuubi-chan... who'd curled up into a ball and begun to snore. His eye began twitching as a vessel popped out on his forehead.

"Baaakkaaaaaa! Do you have any idea just how rude it is to fall asleep while someone's telling a story. Feh. Just for that, I'm leaving you there, and you can only hope you're gone by the time Naruto's ninja-sensei comes around to find out why his student didn't show up tomorrow morning."

Laharl turned and hopped out the still-open window, his cape forming itself into wings as he floated away. Once he had been gone for several minutes, Kyuubi-chan cracked an eye open and then sat up.

**"... I suppose his story had a point. I'll have to think more about this before I leave for a Makai. The chances of such an occurence as he described are low, but still well within the realms of possibility. Perhaps a change of plan is in order... but this is no place to sit and think. I may be more than a match for some of the weaker humans, but the more powerful ones could eradicate me easily... for now."**

xxx

Kakashi flipped a page in his orange book and glanced down from his perch to the bridge where his team was waiting for him. Then he glanced at his watch. This was odd... a minute left until six, the time he'd left orders for them all to be here. Naruto should be here any second, and then he could go and take a walk around town for a few hours and show up just before their patience gave out and they left, as usual. The odd thing was, Naruto was usually here half an hour before the stated time... maybe he'd slept in? He did do that now and again... but even so, he was always here within a few seconds of being 'late'.

He glanced down the path... no sign of the cloud of kicked-up dust or panicked birds that would signal Naruto's panicked rush to the Team 7 meeting place. Maybe he was sick? Kakashi's eye closed in thought... he could not once recall a time where Naruto had caught anything worse off than a mild case of the sniffles. His inhabitant had seen to that... perhaps he'd stayed up all night training? He'd done that in Wave, but Kakashi found it unlikely that anyone in Konoha would be willing to explain how to perform a technique to the bearer of Kyuubi... it was possible though, that he'd managed to get his hands on a scroll. Every so often, someone would throw a scroll of techniques away, if they were low-level or unimportant enough to take the safer route of burning them. It was also possible that Naruto had bought a scroll from someone of his generation, or from a newcomer to the village.

He set his book back into the shuriken pouch and poofed away in a swirl of leaves. If Naruto _had_ come into possession of a scroll, then it was his duty as Naruto's sensei to take a look at it, and confiscate it should he decide it was beyond his current abilities... and he doubted that the idiot had picked up something he was actually capable of. He kept trying to match himself up to Sasuke, ignoring the fact that Sasuke was from a privileged clan, and that he couldn't have matched him even before he'd awakened his Sharingan.

The dead-last was just going to hurt himself.

A swirl of leaves, and he was in the hallway next to Naruto's apartment. He lifted his hand to knock, but paused and listened for any activity inside. Nothing. He tapped gently on the door... no reply. Sleeping in? He knocked harder, then sighed as he remained unanswered.

"Ah... Naruto? Are you in there? I'm coming in... if you're changing or something, let me know."

Still no answer. Kakashi shrugged, and reached down to unlock the door... and it opened easily. Now his visible eye narrowed in suspicion. As unliked as he was, Naruto was a powerful asset to their village, with the Kyuubi sealed inside of him. If he could learn to consciously control the kind of power he'd displayed in Wave, he could become a force beyond reckoning. That was the main reason he had decided to slack off on training him... if he became frustrated enough, he would turn once again to that power... it was only a matter of time. But if someone had kidnapped Naruto, while almost nobody would really be upset at first, there could be disastrous consequences if an enemy got their hands on Kyuubi's power.

He threw the door open, and then blinked as he noted the scrap of paper pinned to the wall. He tore it off and scanned it, relaxing midway through, with relief flooding off of him in waves as he read the terrible handwriting on the note, instantly recognizable as Naruto's.

"Oh... changing apartments... I feel kinda dumb. Nobody can learn of this. Ah... he left an adress. Well I suppose that he is earning enough for a better apartment now. Whatever... he could have had the decency to let me know beforehand though..."

He shrugged and left, pocketing the note. He had several hours of reading before he had to meet up with his little genins and train Sasuke... Sakura really didn't register in his mind at all, as he considered her as little more than a cheerleader to spur Sasuke on.

xxx

Sasuke had begun twitching in horror... after the first hour, it had become apparent. The dobe had abandoned him. After he'd been assigned to the same team as one of his most rabid fangirls, he'd come to rely on the dobe to run interference for him... to distract the evil pink haired witch that simply would not leave him alone. Whether he realized it or not, the dobe tended to show up at exactly the right time to deflect the majority of her attention.

Today... he had simply never shown. That dobe... if he was ill, he had better be in agonizing pain, or Sasuke was going to kill him. Sakura cuddled into his side, grinning as she mistook his shudder of distaste for one of repressed desire. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ girls... he just preferred them a little more well-developed. The only thing Sakura had going for her was an unnatural hair-color... one that was apparently passed down through the dominant genes. Before he had learned that interesting tidbit, he'd actually considered cutting some sort of deal with her... a one night stand, sometime in the future, in exchange for leaving him alone unless she concieved. However, the mere thought of pink-haired Uchiha girls... or worse, pink-haired Uchiha _boys_, convinced him to banish the idea to the depths of oblivion. However, the more he snubbed her, the tighter she held to him, desperately deluding herself into the idea that Sasuke was just playing hard to get.

He glanced around feverishly as Sakura's arms looped around his waist, hoping against hope that the dobe would show up and do something stupid, prompting a beatdown from the emotional girl. Instead, Kakashi showed up... well, beggars can't be choosers.

"Kakashi-sensei."

He spoke loud and clear, keeping his face in the careful expressionless mask that translated to him wanting to break down crying in gratitude for someone _finally_ showing up to rescue him from his torment. Sakura meeped and sprang away from him, flushing as heavily as if they'd been caught in the middle of some raunchy action. Had things actually progressed that far... Sasuke may have just taken after certain wild animals caught in traps, and gnawed off his own arm to escape.

"Yo."

Sasuke's eye twitched at the casual way he said that, and then leaned up against a railing to continue reading his book.

"Where's the dobe, Kakashi-sensei? It isn't like him to be so late."

"Ah? Apparently, he's decided to move out of his apartment. I have his new adress here... somewhere..."

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly, and Sakura flat out gaped in shock as Kakashi removed things from his pockets... a handful of shuriken, and scraps of jagged metal that Sasuke recognized as caltrops, as well as a scroll to begin with, but then things got odd. A rubber chicken? Why would he be carrying something like that? Or a half-eaten lollipop, or a green jumpsuit? Or a... a tiny, sequined thong...

Sasuke's brain shut down, and Sakura flushed heavily. By the time Sasuke was capable of thought again, Kakashi was holding a crumpled sheet of paper and stuffing his things back into his pockets. Sasuke flinched at the flash of sequins. He could have lived a long, content life without seeing... that.

"Here it is... I take it you'd rather go take a look than do today's mission? I suppose you've earned a day off... and I'm rather curious about this address. Follow me."

After a few minutes of walking, Sasuke had to admit that he was mildly curious as well... this was the district where most of the training grounds were located. As far as he understood, that would drop the real estate prices somewhat, but would anyone build an apartment complex there... really? He would think that the possibility of a wayward jutsu destroying the building would make housing in the area unfeasible at the least... but as they continued walking, they came to a wooded area with targets hung on the trees for shuriken practice, and then a bit further they all stopped, leaving a small area of unused forest.

And a path leading to the center.

Kakashi glanced at the bit of paper again, then shrugged and started down the small path, his two Genin trailing behind him. The walk was short, but oddly enough, the woods seemed to turn spooky the second they started down the path. The sun was still shining overhead, but it seemed... dimmed somehow. The trees were darker, many seemed like they were dying, and they were filled with the staring eyes of crows. Every so often, Sasuke or Sakura would get the feeling that someone was staring at them, but when they whirled to look, noone was there. Kakashi got this feeling every so often as well, but ignored it. He felt no serious chakra signatures, so while the effect was somewhat disturbing, there was no real danger.

They turned a small corner, and the entire team took a moment to stare at the building that was revealed. It was much larger than they'd expected, and yet... It was in a state of obvious disrepair, the wood aged and gnarled, shingles falling off, and some of the windows were broken, covered with raggedy curtains. Two... creatures... carved out of stone stood beside the front door, giving the eerie feeling that they were guarding it from unwelcome guests. As Kakashi knocked at the door, Sasuke stepped closer to one, examining it. He'd never seen anything like it... it was like a cross between a large dog, cat, and bird, standing on its hind legs, claws bared. He locked eyes with it.

The stone eye swiveled to stare right back at him.

Sasuke let loose a strangled gasp as he stumbled backwards, drawing Sakura's attention before he could mask his shock.

"Sasuke-kun? Is something wrong?"

Sasuke stared at the statue... it was once again staring blankly forward. He stood up and slowly set his hand on it... cold stone... lifeless.

"It... it was nothing Sakura. I just thought... No, it was nothing."

Even so, as the door slowly creaked open, Sasuke's eyes were locked on the immobile statue... not noticing that its counterpart had turned its head to stare at him as he followed Kakashi and Sakura into the mansion.

Kakashi glanced curiously around the entryway. The walls and floor were made out of a very dark wood, varnished almost to a mirror coat, and a small, tarnished chandelier hung from the ceiling to give light. The interesting thing though, was the puppets. Four of them, crafted out of wood and straw with matching motley clothes, suited for a jester at a costume party. Two black buttons were placed as eyes, and the mouth was a stitched line. He shrugged, putting it up to an eccentric owner... but Sakura couldn't help but take a closer look at the tacky decorations. They were hideous, badly made, with straw poking out here and there, and none of the limbs were quite the right length and... did that one just smirk at her?

She looked again... yes, it was definitely smirking, and... as she watched, it began to turn its head slowly, further and further, until it had made a full circle and its false eyes were staring at her again.

"A... A... AAAAHHH!"

Kakashi blinked as he turned to where Sakura had screamed and fallen flat on her back.

"Ah... Sakura-chan?"

"It moved! The puppet, it moved!"

Kakashi paused, then stepped closer to examine the puppet. After a moment he shook his head and stepped back.

"Sakura-chan... it's just a puppet. If someone was controlling it with chakra strings, then it might be dangerous enough to scream about... but I don't detect even the faintest hint of chakra in it. It can't have moved."

Sasuke glared at the puppet as Sakura goggled at Kakashi. Something very odd was going on in this house...

"But... but... I saw it... it moved..."

"Now now, Sakura-chan... it's only a puppet."

She shivered and darted over to cling to one of Sasuke's arms, prompting a small vein to spring up on his forehead.

"Ah... pardon me..."

Their gaze swung to the inner door, now framing a blonde girl with a red hair ribbon wearing something made out of white fabric over what appeared to be a red one-piece swimsuit.

"Laharl-san will see you now... You're expected. Follow me."

Kakashi shrugged and followed the girl, Sakura relenquishing her grip on Sasuke when he seemed unwilling to immediately follow their sensei. Sasuke continued to stare at the puppet for a moment, then turned and paced after the group.

Behind him, the puppet was waving at his back.

xxx

Kakashi was slightly confused... this house was a maze of random hallways and staircases, with strange decorations. One of those puppets from earlier here, a suit of armor unlike anything he'd ever seen there, paintings of places and creatures he'd never seen adorned the walls... he revised his opinion, the owner of this building was _extremely_ eccentric. Also, the girl leading them around... he didn't know whether or not his Genin had noticed, but her irises were red. An uncommon color to say the least, the only person he knew with naturally red eyes was Kurenai, and that was a genetic trait. Even so, he felt no trace of the large chakra reserves that would indicate a trained ninja, but red eyes was something more worth noticing than letting your imagination run wild with you and deciding inanimate objects were moving on their own. Ridiculous nonsense.

Behind them, a suit of armor slowly raised its guantlet... and flipped Kakashi off.

After an indeterminable amount of time walking, the girl paused and tapped lightly at a door... how she could tell which one she wanted was beyond him. After a moment of waiting, she eased the door open and held it for them to walk through. Inside the room, a young man in a tattered cape was sitting down to a meal, but what caught Kakashi's attention was the furniture. The table was a circular slab of stone, being held up by four blue... things... resembling penguins somewhat, but with peg legs and bat wings. Another of the odd statues was set beside the man's chair, holding a silvery tray of drinks level.

The man calmly finished his plateful of food, ignoring them and the two younger member's growling stomachs. As he set down his silverware, he lifted a small crystal goblet and sipped at it as he turned to look at the ninjas.

"So... I assume you're here about Naruto? Flonne, fetch him. As for you, feel free to leave... I'll send him along to you once he's eaten."

"Um..." Kakashi broke in, "Actually, I've given them the day off to come look at Naruto's new... apartment."

Laharl blinked, then shrugged and took another sip of his drink.

"Whatever. You can wait here for him then."

A long silence fell as Laharl shoveled some more food on his plate and began eating again. A slow sweatdrop formed on Kakashi's head as all three stomachs began rumbling.

"Ah... You're not going to invite us to join you, are you."

It was a statement, not a question, but Laharl nodded in agreement anyway, prompting a twitching eye from Sasuke. Sakura however, voiced her complaints out loud.

"But... But why? We haven't eaten since dawn, and we had to stand for hours on a bridge, in the wind, and then we came here and didn't pass anyplace to eat on the way, and this place is creepy, and I'm hungry, and, AAARGH!"

She slumped for a moment, and then reverted to the most effective weapon she had against the male species... puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeeeeease? Just a plateful?"

"No."

"Buut?"

"The food here is only for people who live here. If you don't live here, you can't eat here. That simple."

Kakashi gave a glance at the food... it actually looked really good... really, really good. And as it happened, he hadn't eaten since his early breakfast either, and he was actually rather hungry. Maybe he could fight this Laharl guy for it... he mentally slapped himself. The Hokage would definitely not look kindly upon him beating up a civilian for their food, and he could tell by chakra levels that this was no ninja. He wasn't even at the level of a basic Academy student. That left one option...

"Maa... How much is rent here then? I've been considering changing apartments for a while... It could come in handy to live in the same place as one of my students."

Laharl blinked and turned to him.

"Fifteen thousand Ryo."

"A month? A bit pricy, but still reasonable."

"You misunderstand... my rate is Fifteen thousand a _night_."

The genin's eyes widened in shock, and Kakashi nearly fell over as he tried to compute that in his head.

"Fif... Thou... What?"

"Long story short, I recieved a ridiculously large sum in an inheritance, but could not claim it unless I was running some form of business... but I hate work. So I charge impossible rates, nobody stays, and I still get my money. Legally, the will never stated whether or not the business had to be _successful_."

"But... Then how can Naruto afford to live here if your rates are so unreasonable?"

"Ah... That... funny story actually. I was at this party, and some of us were playing poker in a side room. Thing is, one of the players left early and we needed a fourth. The other two guys went on and on about just who they should bring in, so eventually I just got fed up with it, stepped out of the building for a moment, and dragged the first person I saw back in. After explaining the game, he actually did rather well.. for a beginner. He won some hands, lost some, and won one particularly big hand that included free room and board here. Forever. I happened to be... somewhat inebriated when I offered that up for stakes. Even so, he's only one person, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to pay up. The few people that could afford to stay here often find the decor... distasteful, and decline to stay for more than a night at most."

Kakashi stared obviously at the penguin things, one of whom he could almost swear had just moved slightly.

"I can't imagine why."

Conversation, such as it was, ground to a halt as the Flonne girl opened up the door to the hallway again... and a haggard looking, bedraggled Naruto stumbled slowly through. Their gaze was captured by him instantly... even when he'd worn himself to the bone in wave, he hadn't looked so terrible. His stumbling was weak and he nearly tripped twice, and when he finally made it to his chair it was more a matter of draping himself limply over it rather than sitting down. He seemed ready to pass out right there at the table.

"Tut... Lightweight. But to be fair, I suppose you may not have realized those little drinks you sucked down so fast were highly alcoholic."

"Ooh..."

He turned his head slightly and opened one bleary eye.

"Kakashi-sensei...? Kill me... End my torment..."

"Ah, get over it... It's just a little hangover... You'll get over it. Eat a little, drink something. You'll survive."

"Urgh... My world has been redefined as living pain... Where are we?"

"You won living quarters here... last night, remember? Or actually you might not... some people have memory problems after drinking as much as you did."

"Ah?"

Naruto's brow crinkled as he searched his memory, flinching now and again as a jolt of pain ran through his head.

"Oh yeah, the card game... I don't feel so good..."

Naruto's eyes closed, and he slumped slightly heavier in his chair. Laharl sent a curious glance his way.

"Huh... passed out. Ah well... I'll just leave some here for him when he wakes up... Now then Flonne, show our visitors to the door... The girl seems terribly famished, and it would be rude to keep them from seeking a meal somewhere."

This prompted a clenched fist and swollen vein from said girl as she contemplated on if it was so rude, then why hadn't he let them eat some of _his_ food? Nontheless, they all quietly left, and made it to the door far faster than it had taken them to make their way to the dining room for some reason.

As they left, Sasuke paused and turned to stare at the statues framing the door, where they were lying down, curled up in a fascimile of sleep... but hadn't they? He shook his head and left. Stupid Dobe... If he had won a free room in that creepy building, he would have turned it down... but then again, he owned the entire Uchiha sector. It wasn't like he was hurting for real estate.

As he disappeared around the bend in the path, Laharl's face could be seen in one of the windows... smirking.

"Baka ningen... so easily fooled."

xxx

A.N.

Wow... this chapter is way longer than I expected to write, but I just seemed incapable of stopping. Creeping out Sasuke and Sakura was more amusing than I'd expected. So anyway, the puppets in the first room are Marionettes from Disgaea 2... but the stone monsters outside are something I made up. Also, I enjoy tormenting Prinnies. You've probably already gathered that though.

Ah... Don't think I'll be reincarnating much of the cast... but there might be a few. For one, I just can't get the image of a Prinnified Zabuza out of my head. Also, there will eventually be Item World action... I'll be taking advantage of the fact that real time doesn't seem to pass while you're in an Item. I've already decided on using one of Kakashi's Icha Icha books in this manner... other things are up in the air though. Feel free to suggest things to me, and they may or may not be used. Also, I'm going to have Naruto have three minions to begin with... Definitely a Prinny of some sort, and one Humanoid and one Monster type. I think I've decided on the monster type, but the Humanoid minion is still up in the air.

Reviews make me happy-happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Overlord

xxx

Kakashi glanced back at his Genin and sighed. While he really wanted to just go report Naruto's change of adress to the Third and then go home to eat something and maybe read his book some more, but he couldn't in good conscience leave those two to flounder about on their own... especially since he got the feeling that Sasuke was going to end up killing someone if he didn't find an opportunity to get away from Sakura-chan's loving embraces.

Kakashi sighed and glanced around until he found a restaurant and began pacing determinedly toward it.

"Sushi anyone? My treat."

xxx

Laharl continued to stare out the window until he was sure that the humans had no intentions of returning. Then he twitched the curtain shut and glared at the slumped form of Naruto.

One of his eyes opened and stared back at him, prompting a smirk.

"Good job, Naruto... the humans were completely fooled."

Naruto frowned as he sat up straighter and began placing food on his plate. Another Prinny slowly walked out from a side room, holding a tray of drinks for him the same way one held them for Laharl. He took a sip from a silver chalice before returning his attention to the food.

"It wasn't that much of an act... I simply allowed myself to show the lingering pain from last night. By the way... the seal is gone. Was that supposed to happen?"

Laharl shrugged.

"It had served its purpose... at that point it was just an unneccessary, superfluos marking, and it dissipated on its own. Nothing to worry about."

Naruto paused eating for a moment to consider that, then shrugged and went back to his meal with gusto.

"I really don't care... I was just wondering whether or not I should tell the old man about it or something. But if it's not important, then it doesn't matter."

Laharl shrugged and knocked back the rest of his drink before setting it on the Prinny's tray.

"Finish up quickly, but leave enough for Flonne and Etna. That Kakashi person may be giving you the day off, but I have many things for you to do. If you are to be my successor, you must learn, and learn quickly."

Naruto's eyes widened, and suddenly his plate was emptied and his drink was gone.

"Yes! Training! Let's go!"

Laharl arched an eyebrow and then shrugged before turning to a Prinny.

"When Etna wakes up, let her know I have another job for her. Understood?"

Laharl's grin simply oozed malice, and the Prinny began sweating heavily, understanding perfectly what would happen if it should mess up.

Laharl nodded and left the room, Naruto trailing directly after him.

xxx

"Are we there yet?"

Laharl suppressed a twitch. This was the third time he'd said that, and he was almost to the point of...

"Are we there yet?"

Laharl's cape suddenly shot out, wrapping itself around Naruto's throat and lifting him off the ground. As he gagged and clutched at the fabric, Laharl turned to glare at him.

"Lesson one... pissing off people who can kill you without moving or even thinking heavily about it is generally considered a bad idea."

"Urk... I get it... Let go... Please?"

The cape loosened and returned to its previous position as Laharl continued down the hall, leaving Naruto collapsed on the ground, clutching his throat as he gasped for breath. Three doors down, Laharl paused.

"Now, we are there."

After a minute or so of massaging his bruised throat, Naruto stood up and followed Laharl into the room. A very odd room indeed... Unlike the other rooms, where the decoration was mostly alive, possessed, or a combination of both, the statures in this room seemed to be just that... statues, with large basins at the base. Laharl stepped up to one and reached into the basin, pulling out a... catalog? How odd.

"Stupid innovations..." Laharl muttered under his breath. "I preferred it when it was real people at the shops... people I could intimidate into better prices. Lets see... something that doesn't look too out of place. That actually limits it severely. One 'Hell Strike' set of battle gloves, one 'Sesshoumaru' katana, one Elder Spear, one Master Bow, one 'Crisis' brand sidearm, one Master Axe, and one Oracle Staff. Then from you I need a Reflex pendant, a Hero's Mantle, and a Royal Ring. And from you... A few sticks of gum, I guess."

The eyes on the statues flared, and the three basins filled with the requested items as an empty voice echoed around the room.

"Thank you for shopping at this outpost of the Rosen Queen co. The expense of your purchases has been deducted from your account, Laharl-sama."

"Yeah, yeah..." he muttered, scooping the weapons and magic armor out of the basins with his cape. "God I hate these stupid things... who's bright idea were they anyway? Progress my... Anyway, pick the weapon you want to train with first, then put on the ring, pendant, and mantle. The mantle's black, so that should help when you go do... ninja... things... and if I feel like it I might teach you to use it like my cape."

Naruto quickly put the accessories on, but paused at the weapons.

"Err..."

"I'd advise you start with the gloves, because the techniques you can learn with them can be used bare-handed as well, although they won't have the sheer force behind them that they will with the gloves on."

"Really?"

Naruto shrugged and pulled the gloves on, then spent a moment admiring them. They were black... leather maybe?... with red runes running almost unnoticed along the seams. Above the knuckles, there were four small metallic spikes. Getting hit by these would _hurt_, even if it would heal quick enough...

He paused as a thought struck him... With Kyuubi gone, would he still have his impressive regeneration rate? If not...

His thoughts broke off as Laharl grabbed his arm and dropped a stick of gum on the outstretched platter of one of the _other_ three statues in the room. Reality bent around them.

xxx

Naruto gasped and stumbled onto the ground, before glancing at his surroundings in shock. Instead of the statue filled room that they had just been in, they were suddenly standing on a floating island of stone. Not far away, creatures began to slowly turn towards them. For the moment, they were content to stare, as though they had not yet fully registered their arrival.

"What... Where the hell are we?"

"This is... the Item world."

Naruto turned to Laharl, who had taken a lecturing tone.

"This place, those beings... they don't really exist. Just like we aren't really here. In this place, reality is one big illusion. This place was... invented... discovered... whatever word you wish to use, by a powerful demon who regretted that weapons and armor could only be made so powerful, or so light. But he recognized that everything created has multitudes of tiny imperfections, and this place is where those imperfections take on a form of life all their own. You can see them over there... they have taken the form of extremely low level demons. Kill one... and the imperfection it relates to will dissapear, becoming perfect... the item will become permamently lighter, or harder, or sharper. Very useful... Most items have thirty stages, like this one, fraught with imperfections. Some items, rarer than normal, have a slowly pulsing blue gem attached to them somehow... the gem makes the item more powerful than normal to begin with, and also adds a great many more imperfections. Those items have sixty stages. And some, extremely rarely, have a swiftly pulsing yellow gem attached. Those are even more powerful than the blue gems, and add more imperfections, to a grand total of one hundred stages. Those items can become incredibly powerful, but are difficult to find. There is a way... but I'll teach you that later."

He shrugged and reached back to massage his neck as the imperfection-demons began to grow shifty and restless.

"Anyway, time doesn't pass here. We can go through a full hundred stages all at once, and be back in the real world the same second we left. Useful for training, don't you think? In any case, we demons train differently than humans... I'll still be teaching you fighting styles, but combination strikes and special techniques... those will come from your weapon. As you kill things with it, and learn to use it better, it will transfer information directly to your brain... teaching you without teaching you, so to speak. There's all sorts of things that can't be learned this way though, and you can create your own techniques that nobody else can learn except directly from you... but a good rule of thumb is that the more you kill, the faster your power grows."

"Ah..." Naruto looked slightly anxious. "Is it... neccessary to kill? Couldn't I just knock someone out?"

Laharl sneered before answering.

"When you're playing with your human friends, feel free to just knock them out... I'd not use the special techniques you'll learn here though... those tend to cut an extremely fine line between 'knocked out' and stone cold dead. But if it eases your... conscience... then just remember that your opponents here aren't real, and even if they were they wouldn't hesitate to kill you. Most lower level demons are like that really, unless they are in direct service to a more powerful demon. Then, they'll wait for the order to kill you. Besides... for now, you are still a ninja in service to your human village. Sooner or later, they will ask you to kill for them. Did you not understand that when you signed on, or did you begin training too young to comprehend anything other than 'Ninjas are cool'?"

Naruto flinched. Laharl... had a point. The Academy took children in young, and then very carefully skirted around the facts of just what a Shinobi does long enough for them to decide that they couldn't imagine being anything else, and had based all their long-term plans around the profession. Laharl turned and grinned... the imperfections had begun a sluggish charge.

"The thing is... despite the fact that this place doesn't exist, and you aren't really here, every wound you take is real. If you die here... tough luck. Here they come... I'll deal with the ones that decide to attack me, but aside from that, you're on your own. Have fun... and try not to die."

Naruto flinched and paled momentarily, then clenched his fists as his eyes snapped up to the angry demons, now only a few feet away from him.

He dashed forward, arms up to strike.

xxx

Laharl smirked, ever so slightly impressed with the brat. He was fighting savagely, and Laharl could almost see the demonic runes on his gloves improving his technique as he fought... each strike a little harder, a little faster, every motion a little smoother than the last. He willed himself to see into and beyond the boy, confirming what he saw on a more physical level. The boy was extremely talented in hand to hand combat, easily S-rank. He would prove to be no slouch with other weapons either, A- and B-ranked with the rest, except for guns, which was a surprisingly low D-rank. No matter... rankings only showed how fast you would improve with the weapon... with a bit of work, he could be just as good with a gun as he was with any other weapon. It would only take longer.

His smirk broadened at the distinctive flash of those tiny runes as the boy killed the last imperfection... he'd just learned his first special move... now to see just how dissappointed with it he was, because if he remembered correctly it was.

"WHAT THE HELL? I BUSTED MY CHOPS FOR A MEASLY THREE-HIT COMBO!?"

Laharl's smirk threatened to take off the top of his head as the island faded and swirled, only to be replaced with another.

"And on to stage two..."

xxx

And stage three...

"Oh, did I forget to mention... the imperfection manifestations grow more powerful with every stage?"

"WHAT!?"

xxx

Stage seven.

"Surely you aren't getting tired already?"

"Sh... Shut up..."

xxx

Stage nine.

"You're looking a little tired. Don't worry, after the next stage there should be a place we can stop and rest... But the next stage will have a boss, probably half again as powerful as the rest."

"... Hate you..."

xxx

And after the tenth stage, and the boss, Naruto all but collapsed on the ground, sweating heavily. Laharl glanced around, noting the emptiness of the stage and shrugged, before turning to his exhausted pupil and sweatdropping heavily.

"Ah... let's get you to the flower girl, she'll fix you."

Despite his state of exhaustion, Naruto was aware that the 'flower girl' wasn't a girl selling flowers, like he'd expected at first, but a green girl that was actually growing out of a large flower. Odd, but no odder than some of the other things that had happened since he accepted Laharl's offer.

He groaned in relief as the girl held out her hands, and green waves of energy wafted through him, healing, revitalizing, and reenergizing him completely. He'd been pleased to learn that he still regenerated damage, if not as fast as he was accustomed to, but as damage built up, it became more difficult to heal. He guessed that it would have been the same with Kyuubi, but it would have taken much longer...

He stood up and stretched, smiling in gratitude at the flower-chick. She flushed lightly in response, which might have disturbed him had he not already turned away. He felt... stronger. He'd always felt slightly stronger after he'd trained himself but this... this was unreal. He had already improved at least ten times what he would if he'd fought that many of his Kage Bunshin... and it was actually rather even. His bunshin could only take one hit before dispelling, but most of the things he'd just killed only stood up to one solid hit as well. Also, his attacks... the triple strike combo was puny, but the Tiger Charge special attack... it was much more impressive. And damaging. And difficult to dodge.

While Naruto was musing over his newfound techniques, Laharl stared at the Item World medic. She would stare at Naruto's back for a moment, then flush again and look at the ground, poking her fingers together, before lifting her gaze to stare at him again. How odd... when a manifestation in this place required a personality, it would copy one from the memories of one of the people visiting. As he knew that he didn't know anyone who acted like that... not anyone who was still alive anyway... that left someone the boy knew, or at least had met. How amusing... there was a human somewhere crushing on his protege.

He shrugged and signalled the ghost nearby, who nodded, and the resting area faded, revealing the next stage.

xxx

Hours later, and yet in no time at all, reality swirled one last time and spat the two back out in the statue room. Laharl indicated the statue of a priestess with outstretched hands, and then lifted the stick of gum from the stone platter and popped it in his mouth as his pupil crawled towards healing.

"Mmm... these always taste so much better after they've been perfected."

Naruto gasped in pain as he finally flopped himself beneath the stone hands, and lay motionless as soft waves of healing green light descended on him. Then he stood and glared at Laharl.

"What the HELL? I wen't through all that, just so you could have a better stick of gum? You must be joking me!"

"Oh? ... Well I wouldn't say _only_... After all, you got a decent amount of training in as well, didn't you?"

Naruto's eye began to twitch, but then he sighed and grinned. He wasn't even sure why he was still picking fights with Laharl... habit probably. Oh, and...

"Hey... are all the unarmed combat skills going to be named after big cats? Tiger Charge, Lion's Roar... come on, tell me!"

Laharl shrugged, still chewing his gum... the flavor lasted longer this way as well.

"I think your next technique is called 'King of the Jungle' or something like that... I'm a sword specialist, so I don't really remember. Aside from that though, I don't think there are any more cat-related techniques..."

They were interrupted as the door slammed open, admitting a yawning girl with her hair in two short, red ponytails... she was making no attempt to hide either her tail or wings.

"Ah... Laharl-sensei, who is this?"

"... You've already met Flonne... this is Etna. Think of them as my good and bad angels, if you will."

Etna snarled playfully, causing Naruto to flinch.

"Anyway... you wanted to see me, your highness?"

Laharl stretched, popping his back in several places before he turned back to Etna.

"Earlier, we fed Naruto's ninja-sensei a crock of bull about how Naruto ended up staying here... a fabricated card game. He seemed to accept it for now, but I'd assume he'll be checking up on the story within the next few hours."

He held out his hand and his cape swirled around it for a moment before depositing an odd orb into his hand.

"As it turns out, there really was a party near Naruto's former dwelling last night... your job is to take this and... fix the partygoers memories to accomodate my being there, and the fictitious card game before the ninja gets there to question them. I've had you do things like this before, so you should know the drill. Feel free to take some time off afterwards and take a look aroung the weapon shops... just be sure to hide your wings and tail."

"Really? Thank you, your highness!"

Her tail immediately slid up, wrapping itself around her thigh under her skirt as she left, orb in hand. She'd pick up a coat or cloak of some sort before she left the house. Laharl turned back to his pupil and took on the tone of a lecturer once more, and Naruto snapped to attention.

"Now... You've learned the first three techniques with gloves... very good. You'll have the rest soon enough as well, but first I want you to learn the first three techniques with your other weapons as well. Versatility never hurts. Now... you're going to notice that you won't learn as fast with the other weapons as you will with gloves and hand to hand combat. That's because your growth potential is higher in that area than with the other weapons... to begin with, I'll explain the potential rankings. Growth potential is separated into six rankings, beginning with 'E' and then increasing up to 'A' and then 'S'. To explain, if you're A-ranked in swords, and B-ranked in axes... you'll learn how to use swords faster than axes, and gain techniques faster as well. You would be S-ranked in growth potential for hand to hand combat. The rest is A- and B- rank, with one D-rank. I'll let you find out which are which on your own... hahaha..."

Naruto's eye began twitching.

"What! Tell me!"

"Oh...? Well I suppose... I'll tell you one. The D-rank is in guns... Actually that might be a good thing, because guns are well beyond the current technology levels of this world's humans... I'd advise you not to go flashing that thing about randomly. Anyway, feel free to take as long as you want to learn... the Item world is timeless. One thing you'll need to remember though... for demons, staffs aren't used primarily as weapons, but as foci for magical spells... as such, killing things with staff isn't going to earn you any battle techniques. As your staff skills increase, it raises the range and power of your spells instead... though you can increase the range and power by intensely training with your spells as well. Training with both in combination can result in the point that a skilled magic user can blast anything within a mile radius... but most don't go that far. Just let me know when you're ready to learn magic, and I'll see about teaching you. For now, go to Item world."

Naruto grinned... and lifted up the sword Laharl had bought, instead of one of the pieces of gum. Laharl winced, but kept his mouth shut. He could warn the kid... but he personally felt that this was something he had to learn on his own.

Naruto set the sword on the stone platter, and for less than a second he stood there, his essence having traveled to the Item world... then he flew backwards, beaten, slashed, broken, and obviously dead.

Laharl sighed as he stepped forward and dragged the brat's corpse to the healing statue, leaving him beneath its hands as the waves of soft green light began to sink into him. He sat back and pulled out another stick of gum... actual death would take a lot longer to fix than mortal wounds.

xxx

Kakashi sighed in mourning for his Jounin ranked paycheck. Sakura may poke fun at Naruto's ramen obsession now and again, but it appeared she had her own, lesser known obsession. The girl was like a bottomless pit for sushi...

Had he known that, he'd have taken them somewhere else to eat.

She had had some modicum of restraint while 'her Sasuke-kun' was watching, matching him at three plates each. Then... she had gone to the restroom for a moment and Sasuke had thanked him for the food and left. Frankly Kakashi didn't blame him... fangirls were scary.

When she had come back, she had been extremely dissappointed to find out that Sasuke had already left. He had shrugged, and then foolishly indicated that she should feel free to eat more if she was still hungry.

And eat she did... twenty seven more plates of sushi before she decided to let up. It was insane... and then the girl had just smiled and thanked him for the food, leaving him crying over the check.

He shook his head and continued walking. That Laharl's explanation had seemed valid... but something smelled fishy. After asking a few questions, he'd determined that there really had been a party near Naruto's place last night... a pretty loud party too, by the sound of it. Just a little while ahead...

He paused as a girl passed him. She was a bit young for him, so he shouldn't even have noticed her but... he turned lightly and watched as the redhead paced away and turned a corner. What was it about her that had drawn his attention? Was it her clothes? While she was only wearing a miniskirt and top under her coat, that wasn't too terribly eyecatching... the coat did an excellent job of covering her, and he knew people who wore less as a matter of course. Was it her hair color? Bright red was odd, but again, he knew people with more... unique... colors and styles. That shouldn't have caught his attention either. Her chakra levels were normal as well, indicating a normal villager... so what had he noticed, that had set off his internal alarms?

He was still pondering this while he made his way to the building the party had been held in, and while he questioned the owners, who had been in the thick of the party and noted everyone who had been there. Perhaps that's why he missed the way their eyes would glaze slightly, and then clear before they told him about 'the odd blue-haired guy, he wasn't much of a partyer, just sat in the back and played cards for the most part, had a few drinks... that kid he dragged in though... that boy could go nuts!'

It wasn't until later, after he'd questioned several more partygoers and recieved nearly identical stories from each, and was well on his way to the Hokage's tower, to make his report, that he realized what it was that he had noticed about the redhead. Like the Flonne girl, and even Laharl, her eyes had been a pure, dangerous looking crimson.

xxx

Naruto sat up, clutching at his chest, eyes wide and darting around for danger and breathing heavily. As the seconds passed, his breathing slowed somewhat and grew more relaxed, and his eyes came back into focus.

"They... they were... so powerful. I couldn't... even compare!"

Laharl nodded, frowning down at him.

"I could have told you before... but you would have become curious and tested it anyway, without anyone to drag your sorry carcass to a healer powerful enough to bring you back to life. Now that you've experienced it for yourself, your future actions will be tempered with the wisdom that comes only from pain. You've just discovered that depending on which item you travel to, the manifestations vary in power. When we were in the gum world, enemies dropped with one or two strikes, right? I wonder if you even managed to kill one of the enemies in your sword..."

Naruto's eyes widened, as did his sudden grin.

"TWO! I got _two_ of them before the rest dogpiled on me! A girl dressed as a ninja, and a big... lizard thing, with wings..."

Laharl's eyes widened imperceptively at the boast, then he arched a single eyebrow.

"_Did_ you now... that's interesting... That changes my plans slightly."

He shook his head and smirked.

"In any case, I think that's enough traveling in the Item world for now... we can get back to that later. There's still a great deal for you to learn. Now... I'm training you as my successor. I am the Overlord... as such, I have my minions to delegate things that I don't feel require my personal attention to. As my protege, you will need your own minions, to begin to learn how to command others... but demons respect only power. Your choice of minions is limited to the types of demons you have personally slain... that's why I had you run through the Gum world on your own. You'd killed Zombies, Ghosts, Orcs, and several other classes there, opening up opportunities for your minions... and that is why I was so interested to find out that you'd managed to best not only a Kunoichi, but a _Dragon_ as well. Most impressive... Dragons are not only powerful, but they are one of the few monstrous demons that are immune to a specific element. In their case, fire. Dragons are also the most difficult to find and defeat... I'd intended for you to hunt down an Aqua Demon, or a Mystic Beast first... I still will, but you finding a Dragon on your own puts you well ahead, good for you."

"Ah... I don't get it. Why do I need Minions? I can just fight on my own..."

"Idiot! You can fight one on one against someone your level, or take on a multitude of those less powerful than yourself, but for the moment you're still extremely weak! Remember what happened in the sword? If you had had minions to fight alongside you... you may not have won, but the battle would have lasted a hell of a lot longer! Whether you have many diverse minions, each with their own personal abilities, or a few minions that train with you more intensely to become a more cohesive fighting unit, you need to have minons if you want to survive long. Some of the places I'll be taknig you to train will be extremely dangerous! If you want to go there, you'll have to have minions to help you fight when you need them, or you'll be killed easily. Death isn't neccessarily irreversible, but your corpse has to be at least mostly intact. There are demons out there who make a point out of rendering everyone they kill into bite-sized chunks... at that point the best I could do would be to stitch most of your bits back together and reanimate you as a Zombie, and frankly I don't think I would bother, what with the effort that entails."

Naruto grimaced, then paused to consider, thinking heavily. He didn't like having to rely on others, and preferred fighting on his own unless absolutely neccessary... but his traitorous mind flashed back to Zabuza. Laharl had a point... even to nick the powerful ninja, he'd had to work in concert with Sasuke. Had he just tried to fight him on his own, he would have died. He sighed and grimaced as he fidgeted with his mantle. He didn't really like wearing it, but it wasn't as restrictive as a fully surrounding cloak would be, and while a cape suited Laharl somehow... it would just make him look stupid. This though, came to meet at a tie on his chest, and concealed almost all of his jumpsuit.

"Fine... I'll just have to deal with having minions then. Can't be worse than having teammates that hate me."

Laharl arched an eyebrow, then shrugged. It wasn't any of his business how the brat dealt with his human friends. He stepped to the statue with the gavel and locked eyes with it. After a moment, the statues eyes glowed and a small hole tore itself in the air in front of the statue. Laharl signified that Naruto should follow him as he stepped through, and they reappeared in a small room with red carpeting. Naruto glanced around in shock... a courtroom? Were they on trial? Laharl spoke up as Naruto began to panic at the dangerous looking demons seated around them.

"This is the main courtroom of the Dark Assembly. While as Overlord, I am technically the supreme power of my Makai, there are many things that require the approval of the Assembly... such as opening gates to certain areas, or applying for minions to serve you. Mostly its just the daily grind of government, but there are things they are more willing to do than others. For example, getting low level minions is easy, as is reincarnation... like the little fox, remember? While getting war funds from the Assemblymen would be almost impossible to pass the vote. Of course... if neccessary, I can use my... influence... to force a proposal through, but the Assemblymen have long memories. That can be a good thing though... Run favors for an assemblyman, or bribe him with something he _really_ wants, and he'll be more likely to vote your way for a while. I'll be teaching you some politics, so you can function here better. Who knows... once all your human friends die, maybe you'll decide to become an Assembleyman yourself while you wait for me to pass on my crown... But in any case, I'll submit the bills for you this first time, for a Dragon, a Kunoichi... and a Prinny."

"Maaa... A what? Prinny? Why do I need a peg-leg penguin?"

"Tch. You're underestimating them. And besides, aside from minions to fight for you you also have to learn to let your minions take care of more mundane chores. That's where prinnies are most capable, with cooking and cleaning duties. I rely on Etna's prinnies because the servants of my servants are my servants as well, but you're going to need a housekeeper... there will be days when my training will run you so fully into the ground that you'll barely be able to shower before you pass out in bed. At that point, you'll be very relieved to have a Prinny to deal with cooking and cleaning things for you."

Naruto frowned, then sighed and shrugged.

"Are they any good in a fight?"

"Ah... that depends. But have you ever been slapped with a large fish? It hurts. Some of them keep heavy butcher knives in their pouches too, and..."

"Okay, I get it. Sorry I asked..."

"Good... any preferences as to... never mind, I haven't explained that yet. I'll just request speed for the Kunoichi and strength for the Dragon. The Prinny doesn't really matter... I'll just let the Assemblymen do whatever with it."

He filled out a few forms, then handed them to a nearby ghost to be distributed among the demons. The vote was called, with a resounding unanimous 'aye', and Laharl turned to walk his protege back out.

"Ah? Hey? I thought we were here to get minions, and now we're just going to leave?"

"... You're thinking too hard, idiot. Just relax... there are plenty of demons out there looking for work. They should be waiting for you by the time we get back. Also, I should probably let you know that this isn't the only way to get minions. If you can convince someone to join up with you, or force them to, that works as well... though they tend to be a little less loyal than those who join through this process. And remember that humans can become powerful as well, and are generally far more loyal than most demons, if you can talk them into joining you. Demons work for pay... and if someone offers to pay them more, they'll generally betray you in a heartbeat. A human can use demon weapons, learn demon techniques, become just as powerful as any demon... even though they don't have the same kind of lifespan we do..."

Laharl sighed and looked downtrodden for a moment before forcing a smirk back on his face.

"Of course, we tend to kill ourselves off fairly quickly, so barring those of us who become powerful enough to live for millenia... the average demons lifespan is really more like a decade or so. I suppose it would be similar for the angelic beings, except that rather than battle each other, they tend to battle us. There is an uneasy truce between me and the Seraph... but that doesn't stop them from making war on other Makai, and we each have to be very careful not to step on anyones toes, or battles will break out despite the truce. I suppose, despite the brevity of their lives, humans are the lucky ones. Only occasionally do they fight for the heavens or Makai, and few human worlds are foolish enough to descend into the near-constant state of war and chaos that is the norm for us demons. Sometimes... I envy them for that. But we're here, and so are your new minions."

Naruto could see them. The Kunoichi was what he'd expected, black hair, sligtly baggy, yet perfectly fitting black jumpsuit, black facemask like Kakashi's... the only thing differentiating her from the mindless drone he'd killed in the Item world was a blonde root here and there signifying that she needed to touch up her dye job.

The Prinny was unremarkable... in fact it seemed to be trying not to draw attention to itself. Even so, it seemed to be a normal prinny except...

"It's orange. Is it supposed to be orange?"

Laharl's eyes narrowed... the prinny was _not_ supposed to be orange. He'd requested a random prinny, and they should have given him a normal one. Different colors signified different ranks and power levels. Orange prinnies weren't _that_ much better off than normal prinnies... but the simple fact that it was here meant that it had requested the placement, due to the name he'd put down on the form. It wasn't acting quite like a normal prinny either... a typical prinny wouldn't try to remain unnoticed despite its skin color being obviously unsuited to stealth... a typical prinny wouldn't bother because they knew that almost nobody paid attention to prinnies. Who... he mentally shook his head and relaxed. He would question the prinny later... if its reasons were important, he'd inform the boy. If not, then it didn't matter anyway. But he couldn't help but remember the first time he'd come across an odd prinny...

The dragon had Naruto's jaw dropping... and not in a good way. The shrimpy lizard could probably, at most, stretch itself to hip height on Naruto.

"What the hell! This is a dragon? It's a shrimp! A gecko, with wings!"

A curl of angry grey smoke drifted up from the baby dragon's nostril, indicating that it did not appreciate the terms of endearment _at all_.

"Watch it buster... I may not be able to flame yet, but my teeth are still sharp, and guess what? I'm right at your crotch level."

The dragonling's bold declaration set off a round of winces. Laharl in particular grimaced... so these were the brat's new minions? Impressive... no, not really. Not really impressive at all.

xxx

A.N.

Who is the Mysterious orange Prinny? How did Sakura devour so much sushi, yet still retain her girlish figure? Where was Flonne this entire chapter? Will the kunoichi touch up her dye job? All these questions answered with the next chapter... maybe.


	4. Chapter 4

Overlord

xxx

"No, wrong. Stop it. You're focusing too much on the mantle... the point of this exercise is to move the fabric like an extra limb. I'm not asking for much here, just to make it move... flex it. Do you have to focus so hard to move your arms? No! Stop focusing and just do it!"

Naruto's eye was twitching wildly... it was well into the night and he wanted to sleep before he had to go meet his ninja squad, but he wasn't allowed to leave this room before he'd learned how to move his mantle. The worst thing was, Laharl had been yelling at him like this for several hours, completely throwing his concentration to hell. And...

"I can't believe I'm wasting my time on you, you no-good, worthless imbecile!"

Naruto snapped, losing all control over himself as he dived at his sensei, mantle flapping forward and forming itself into a thrusting drill...

Wait, what now?

Naruto froze, turning his head to stare at the mantle. Yes... a drill made of fabric. Without thinking, he sped up the rotation, then slowed it down and reversed it... he was so fascinated by the motion that he didn't even notice that the second he'd begun his lunge Laharl had moved behind him fast enough to leave an afterimage, which was now slowly fading away. Laharl waited for him to notice. And waited. And coughed lightly to get his attention. And waited some more.

A blood vessel slowly made itself visible on his forehead as his cape swirled around his hand, revealing not his sword, but a large wooden hammer. He slammed it directly into the back of Naruto's head.

"Don't ignore me!"

Naruto mumbled something incomprehensible as he lifted his head from the face-shaped imprint in the floor.

"Now that you've finally got the hang of it... I dunno. Experiment if you want... or you could just go to sleep. I have something to do..."

"Wait! Don't go yet! I want to do the pulling weapons from nowhere thing that you keep doing... Show me how!"

"I have to... fine, I'll make this quick. While the fabric is swirling around your hand, concealing it from view, will the weapon you want from wherever it is to your hand... you have to know where it is though. Actually, it has nothing to do with the cape or mantle at all... that's just a distraction. Have fun... I guess."

Naruto immediately forgot about sleep and began focusing intently upon his hand, as though that would make it easier to call a weapon to it.

xxx

The orange prinny squeaked in surprise as a red cape darted around the corner, wrapping around one of its peg legs and spilling the laundry it had been carrying all over the floor as it was suspended upside down directly in front of Laharl's face.

"Uwaah! Hey! Put me down! ... Please?"

Laharl casually stepped across the dirty laundry and opened a door into an empty room. He entered and calmly closed the door before turning to glare at the prinny.

"If you please... I have a question. Who are you?"

A small sweatdrop appeared on the back of the prinnies head, and it blinked slowly before answering.

"I am..." it said, lowering it's voice and motioning Laharl closer, as though it was about to reveal some deep, dark secret.

"A prinny."

A vein popped out on Laharl's forehead and he directed his cape to wrap around the prinnies center and squeeze, turning it into something of an hourglass figure.

"AGONY! PAIN! GAH!"

After a moment, Laharl allowed the pressure to lessen somewhat.

"Let me rephrase that... Who _were_ you?"

"Do I have to answer th-AGONY!"

Laharl had constricted his cape again.

"Gah! Ah! Okay, I'll talk! But first... how could you tell?"

Laharl arched an eyebrow.

"It was obvious you were no ordinary prinny within the first few seconds of seeing you. Out of thousands of prinnies, only one or two would choose to reincarnate as a higher level prinny than another form... and even had you simply done so on a whim, a normal prinny wouldn't have taken so much effort to avoid drawing attention to itself. It would have known that nobody normally pays attention to prinnies unless they do something out of the ordinary... but you gave it away with your speech patterns. Nobody knows why, but all normal prinnies tack '-su' onto the end of most sentences. You obviously didn't get around much, or you would have known this for yourself. Now... you _will_ tell my who you were and why you requested this placement."

The prinny paused for a moment, then sighed and began its story.

"You should already know that prinnies are the tortured souls of sinners. When someone commits a sin, even an insignificant one, it is marked down and tallied up. When that person dies, they become a prinny, and have to work to earn enough money to equal their sins... then they can go to the red moon, and their sins will be absolved before they are reincarnated.

In my life... I had commited a few minor sins, but nothing truly major. I was a ninja... I killed whom I was ordered, and at times I did things that normal people may have considered wrong... but it was almost always justified. I played a large role in a war, bringing it to a close years before it would have without my efforts, and rose to a position of power within Konoha. I was... the Yondaime Hokage.

But... a little over a decade ago, the village was attacked by a monstrously large, incredibly powerful demon fox. The Kyuubi. We sent all our most powerful ninja out to stop it... it killed them as though it were swatting flies. Entire clans were lost that day, because of my stubborn decision to stay and fight, rather than evacuate the village. Then... when I found a way to defeat him... it came at a cost. To defend my village, I became a sinner beyond compare. I sacrificed my life, offered my soul to a demon, and destroyed a child's future. Any one of those sins alone would leave me a prinny for centuries. All of them together? I don't think I will ever be able to be free of my guilt.

That boy... when I died, I'd asked the village to see him as their hero. I honestly never expected to see him or them again... but the spirits of death allowed me to see, now and again, what was happening in my old home. They... were not doing it to be nice. The villagers... even some of the ninja... would blatantly defy my dying wish. After only a year, I could no longer bear to watch, and threw myself into work. It didn't change anything... but while I was exhausted, I could forget for a short time. Then... I was still an individual worker. I hadn't really put any thought into signing myself onto a long term contract... but then the call came up for a prinny, and it was his name on the form... I had volunteered before I even registered myself stepping forward, and I never once considered changing my mind. I don't know... Maybe, deep down, I thought that by placing myself in his service I could... pay back some of the debt I owe him. It's... so foolish, to even think something like that.

Will you let me go now?"

Slowly, Laharl's cape lowered the prinny to the ground, and it carefully gathered up the spilled laundry before it paused and turned back to Laharl.

"There were also two others, who seemed interested in the post... but unlike me, their sins were relatively minor. It won't be long until they go to the Red Moon... I'd keep an eye out for them afterwards... they seemed very interested in the idea of working for him."

The prinny left, leaving Laharl contemplating its words before he glanced out of a small window.

"Dawn..."

He shook his head and headed back to the room he'd left the kid in... as he'd expected, he'd fallen asleep while practicing calling his weapons to himself, and was slumbering on the ground with his sword dangling limply from his grip.

Laharl kicked him in the head.

"Gah! What the hell! What was that for?"

"Aren't you expected somewhere, in about an hour? Bathe yourself, change your clothes, then join me for breakfast before you leave. You can sleep while you wait for your sensei to arrive... suspicions would arise should you miss another meeting so swiftly, right?"

xxx

Sasuke breathed a heavy sigh of relief as he saw a distant figure begin to draw closer. The dobe was coming today then... thank god. He appreciated Sakura's attentions from a distance, a constant reminder of the fact that he was probably _the_ most desired male in their generation, but he didn't like the thought of having to deal with her alone like yesterday again. He blinked, then looked closer at the running figure. What... the hell was the dobe wearing?

"Good morning, Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme!"

Sakura had already clocked him in the head before she had fully turned from her crush to see the irritating blonde... and what he was wearing. Her jaw dropped in shock. He was still wearing his typical orange jumpsuit, but over that...

"Dobe... What the hell is that?"

"Ah? I see you've noticed, my stylish new mantle!"

"Mantle? It's a cape dobe. Why the hell are you wearing a cape?"

Naruto blinked, then sprouted a wide grin.

"Well, I lost some money at the card game, but I won all sorts of awesome stuff! Like this MANTLE, Sasuke-teme."

"Cape."

"Mantle."

"Cape."

"Mantle."

Sakura let out an aggrieved sigh... why couldn't the idiot have just stayed away like yesterday, and left her and Sasuke-kun in peace?

xxx

The kunoichi yawned as she stumbled into the dining room alongside the dragonling. They'd gone to train a little on their own while Naruto worked with his cape, with the result that the dragonling was almost an inch larger than it had been.

Glancing around, it became almost immediately apparent that none of the three at the table was their blonde boss.

"Oy..." the dragonling approximated a throaty rumble to its voice as best it could... leaving it more of a slightly squeaky purr. "Where'd the annoying brat go?"

The girls shrugged and went back to their meal. Dragons, even little ones, were entitled to some measure of arrogance. After all, if they lived long enough to avoid being rendered down for armor parts, they tended to become the most powerful and richest beings around, with their hoarding tendencies. They were like pack rats for anything valuable or rare... once they'd gathered enough, they tended to sleep in a pile of golden trinkets and coins.

Laharl bit off another chunk of bacon and swallowed before answering.

"My pupil had things to do in the village... he _was_ a human until I came, after all. Appearances have to be kept up for at least a little while longer... I really don't feel like dealing with the human's questions just yet. He'll be back later in the day... you'll have to find your own amusement until then. But by all means, eat. There's plenty for both of my pupil's minions."

The dragonling growled slightly, but snagged an uncooked leg of some sort of large beast off the table, curling up around it as it tore shreds of flesh off. The kunoichi slumped down in the chair and began cleaning under her nails with a throwing knife.

"... I want to kill something."

xxx

Kakashi was still suspicious about Naruto's new lodgings... Although the story _had_ checked out, and the Sandaime had even seemed pleased about it when he'd taken a look at the building's location with his crystal ball... he bit off a growl deep within his throat. Naruto's former apartment had been very close to most of the bars on that side of town... the random drunkards that vandalized his apartment were a critical part of bringing the boy to the breaking point. His will was strong, but sooner or later he would fall to the power of the Dark Side...

He shook his head. That was what he got for watching a Star Wars marathon when he should have been sleeping.

Even so, the quote was actually pretty valid in this instance. Naruto would be of most use to the village if he learned to use the demon sealed within him, but the experiences of his childhood would hold him back from choosing to use the evil energies. Even so, it wasn't impossible... he could be pushed to the breaking point, where he would dip into the demon's power to brutally massacre the enemy. If he could be goaded to the point where he had no other choice but to use the demon...

He shook off the nagging internal voice that suggested this was a bad idea, as he dropped down to the base of the bridge, sparing only a moment to glance at Naruto's new accessory.

"Good morning, everyone... I've got you all a nice D-rank mission from the Hokage's office. Um... Naruto? Why are you wearing a bedsheet?"

"IT'S A _MANTLE_!"

xxx

Kakashi's eye drifted over once more to Naruto, who was climbing up and down the tallest tree in their training ground again. Something... was different about him, but he couldn't tell what it was. The cape thing was negligible, and wearing it everywhere was actually a very Naruto-ish thing to do. Either he'd get bored with it and take it off eventually, or everyone would get used to it the same way they'd gotten used to the stupid orange jumpsuit that he loved so much. He'd taken to the D-rank mission with his normal excitement, and screwed it up in a variety of small ways that his teammates had to quickly fix, as usual... he hadn't begged Sakura for a date yet, but that wasn't actually something he did daily anyway. Frequently, but not daily... or maybe he'd just gotten a clue and given up on the obsessed girl?

Kakashi actually gave that a moment's consideration before banishing the idea. Naruto had been infatuated with her for years... why would he pick now to give up on it? He'd been just as mildly antagonistic towards Sasuke as normal too... And he'd been whining just as pathetically for Kakashi to teach him an 'awesome new technique' before he'd been ordered to work on his control by tree-walking.

He also hadn't realized yet that if Kakashi _really_ wanted him to work on his control, he would have given him another technique to do so... tree walking would only go so far, and Naruto was perfectly ready to move on to the next stage of water-walking. Had been for a while really... but that wasn't part of the plan. He gave a mental shrug and turned back to Sasuke, completely ignoring the fact that Sakura had stopped her endurance training long ago, in favor of ogling Sasuke's shirtless form. He lifted his hand and the taijutsu training began again, with Sasuke dashing headlong at him, and him taking full advantage of the holes in his student's defenses.

Across the field, Naruto's eyes narrowed. Kakashi had finally stopped scrutinizing him... it was time. He looped around the tree, appearing to do so to dodge a branch, and created a kage bunshin that continued up the tree as he leaped away, gone before anyone had a chance to notice. The clone would be sufficient to give the illusion that he was still there for the next few hours... at this point, Kakashi would only glance towards the tree now and again to make sure he was still 'training'. It would spend the rest of the day running up and down the tree, before stumbling off, 'exhausted', to Laharl's place and dispel itself inside. If everything went well, none of them would ever realize that he'd be ditching them.

Naturally, things didn't go smoothly. About halfway back to the Inn, he'd run across a training ground where another group of rookies was practicing. He'd been quick to dart out of sight, and he'd slipped past the area unnoticed, with only a few close calls... Kiba would probably be able to tell that he'd passed by later though. He'd have to find a way to hide his scent, if he was to keep his business secret from people like the Inuzuka. The girl could be a problem too... he couldn't remember her name offhand, but she was a Hyuuga... if he caught her attention, she could keep an eye on him even while facing the opposite direction. That would be bad for keeping his activites a secret...

Had he looked behind him as he patted the stone guardians and entered the rickety building he'd come to view as home, he would have seen the very girl he was thinking about standing next to a tree, watching him.

"Naruto-kun...?"

xxx

Naruto sweatdropped at the sight before him. The little dragon was gnawing on some large bones, while Etna and the kunoichi were juggling what had apparently started as only kunai and shuriken between themselves. Flonne was squealing in excitement over it, and every few seconds she'd throw something sharp into the fray... so far she'd added darts, a few butcher knives, and a small handaxe, and she was glancing around for more... he glanced around the room and his sweatdrop grew... Laharl had turned his cape into a hammock and was completely ignoring everything. He turned back to the juggling act, and then dived, wide-eyed, out of the way of a Fuuma shuriken that both girls had failed to catch... it thunked deeply into the wall.

"Wh... What the hell? Hey!"

The dragonling rolled one eye towards him for a moment, then went back to its meaty bone... the kunoichi's reaction was far more pronounced. She immediately stopped what she was doing and dropped to one knee in front of him... leaving all sorts of bladed instruments flying randomly through the air.

Several terror filled seconds of frantic dodging later, Naruto caught his breath and glanced around the now-spiky walls. Laharl's cape had risen somewhat to deflect the blades that had headed his way without him even needing to move, but the rest of them had more problems... except the kunoichi, who hadn't even moved from her prone position.

"Ah... Hey, I didn't get your name."

"Mihoshi."

"Ah..."

Naruto gave another glance to the gleaming metal.

"For some reason, that name seems surprisingly apt at the moment. Here's a piece of advice... when you're doing something that requires all of your attention, it's acceptable to finish what you're doing before acknowledging me. And if you weren't giving juggling bladed weaponry your full attention... you should have been."

"I'll take that under advisement."

A loud crunch echoed through the room, prompting winces as heads spun to the dragonling. The bone it had been chewing had split down the middle.

"Gimme five minutes... this is taking up all of my attention right now."

Sweatdrops grew.

xxx

This place... it was creepy. There was no better word for it. She'd just barely managed to catch a glimpse of Naruto's blonde hair darting around a tree before he'd seemed to dissappear into the shadows... she'd excused herself and followed him, actually having to resort to her Byakugan to pick up his trail. The place he'd gone to... at first glance, it was an old, creaky mansion that was ready to fall over any day, but under the scrutinizing gaze of her bloodline the support timbers and interior structuring... was revealed to be new. It was just that the outside had been third and fourth-hand, half-useless materials tacked onto the good underneath.

Someone had built this building in an out of the way corner, with the intent of making it look like it had been there for much longer than it really had been... and to the average eye, it would be almost indistiguishable.

She'd turned the Byakugan off after entering the house, out of courtesy. She was beginning to regret it... every hallway and corridor looked exactly the same, and there were no distinguishing marks on the doors. The only way to tell where she was was by the decorations... but she'd gone through three very similar hallways where the suits of armor were in different alcoves every time. Oddly enough, she kept hearing muffled snickers in that corridor, but there was noone there.

Every so often she could hear people talking to each other, but not enough to make out a conversation, and at one point she'd winced at a large snapping noise. Several minutes later she was almost to the point of defying courtesy and activating her Byakugan to find her way through the maze-like structure, but the possibility of accidentally catching someone in the bath held her at bay.

Her face grew to an atomic red as an image of Naruto stepping out of a bathtub, towel wrapped loosely around his waist, seared itself into her mind. The incident had been just after they'd all become genin, a couple of months back. She'd finally gotten up the courage to speak to Naruto and had gone to his apartment... but he hadn't answered the door. Confused, she had activated her bloodline to scan the apartment, and very nearly got an eyeful as Naruto stepped out of his bath. She'd fled, red-faced, long before he made it to the door, but the image had stayed with her and would surface at the most innappropriate times.

She paused as she turned a corner, identical to the dozen she had passed already. A door was open... had she already come down this way? No, she could hear someone moving around inside... she slipped in, and came face to face with a man with blue hair, only a few years older than her, and behind him... Naruto! She flushed lightly and simultaneously hoped and feared that he would turn around and see her... but he didn't.

Laharl stared at her for a moment and then shrugged, making a note to teach Naruto how to tell if someone was sneaking up on him. If some girl had just walked in and he hadn't even noticed, an assassin could take him out easily. Oh well... he didn't know how she'd made it here, as humans shouldn't even be able to navigate the maze of hallways on their own, much less see the doorway to this room, opened or not, unless they were specifically invited. The odds of wandering the corridors randomly and happening to notice the illusion covering the door were astro-... Specifically invited.

He let out a large sigh and grabbed the girl by the wrist, ignoring her softly stuttered protests. Idiot. Barely half a day after he'd gotten his first demonic minons, and he was inviting humans to join his ranks as well. At least he could have chosen one that seemed worthy... this little girl looked to be more suited as a housewife, or for concubine duties.

He paused less than half a second to consider that that may just be what she was intended for... whatever. Not his place to judge the kid's taste in that matter... though personally, the empty eyes gave him the creeps.

He slammed his hand onto Naruto's shoulder just as he set the orb he'd purchased on the statue's tray.

xxx

Reality swirled around the three, and spit them out on a floating island next to a glowing circular pedestal. Runes slowly revolved around its edge, each relating to summoning and servitude. The true names of these objects had long since been lost, but the lowbrow masses had given them a new name... base panels. They could be found anywhere, and were useful to transport small groups of warriors immediately to the site of a battle... some of the more paranoid demonic nobles, fearing assassination, would spend millions to have portable ones created to be shrunk and inflated with a trigger, bringing their armies with them wherever they went.

Naruto hesitated in calling his sword... why had Laharl chosen to come along? This was a low level orb... nothing powerful for him to fight. Was it that he didn't think Naruto was capable of learning without him watching?

"Ah... Um... Wh-where...?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he spun to see, not only Laharl, but the Hyuuga girl from earlier as well. How did she...? No, Why did she...? He'd been sure he hadn't been seen, but why would someone have even bothered to follow him? And why would Laharl have not only allowed her to watch his travel to the item world, something she definitely wouldn't understand and might or might not refrain from speaking of, but actively involve her...? Laharl sent a scowl his way as he released the girl to stumble forward and pulled a red slip of paper from his cape. He tossed it forwards and it swelled up, forming into a floating door with 'EXIT' stamped on it in bold red letters.

"Hmph. Next time you've found a new minion, _tell_ me before they show up... Got it?"

Laharl turned and stepped through the door before Naruto could answer, or convey his shock at this turn of events in any way, and the door swung closed... dissolving into dust that floated away. Naruto could tell from the girl... Hinata's widening eyes and slightly fearful expression that the entities behind him had begun their charge. He reached into his mantle and summoned his sword... and his gloves, which he tossed directly to her.

"Hinata! No time to explain, just put those on... and try not to die."

She nearly swooned when he remembered her name, but the charging monsters and the serious way he'd finished his statement convinced her to put her reactions on hold until she was sure she was in no danger of immediately dying.

xxx

Multiple of the little floating islands later, Hinata had worn herself to near exhaustion. When the creatures on this island ignored her in favor of tending to their own business, she slumped down to the ground, panting for breath. Naruto tugged a small cloth from somewhere within his mantle and used it to wipe the dark blood from his katana. She glanced down at her hands... sure enough, although she had done far less of the actual fighting than Naruto had, the spikes on the gloves he'd tossed her were liberally coated with the liquid. She fidgeted, uncertain as to begin cleaning it.

"Don't worry about it Hinata."

She flinched at the sudden statement, unsure of what Naruto was talking about. Some of this must have shown in her face, because he clarified almost immediately.

"The gloves... don't worry about cleaning them, I'll do it later. You seemed slightly queasy when you looked at the blood covering them... but from what I've overheard, your clans taijutsu style is almost completely bloodless, so it probably wouldn't be a big deal."

An uneasy silence fell between the two as Hinata cast her eyes down, already evaluating and second guessing everything he'd said. It wasn't long before she realized he was trying to catch her attention again, and she flushed lightly.

"U-um... I... I'm sorry. C-could you say that again?"

Naruto blinked, then shrugged.

"Like I said... this is probably the best place to talk. When we leave, we'll arrive back in our bodies less than a second after we left them. While I want to know why you followed me, and how you found that room... it's not as important as explaining to you..."

He paused, giving great care to the choosing of his words... something Hinata was unaccustomed to seeing from him. But then, even with her... surveillance of him, she wouldn't have expected to find him training on floaiting islands in the sky somewhere either. He sighed, apparently unsatisfied with whatever he'd decided to say.

"Laharl... jumped to a conclusion, when you walked in that door. Not the right conclusion, by any means, and I wouldn't have expected him to have sent you along with me either. I think he assumed... that I had... invited you for something, but with all you've seen... If he find's out that you weren't invited..."

He left the sentence trailing for a moment, then grimaced.

"There's no easy way to say this... he'll kill you, to keep the secrets you've seen safe."

Her eyes widened, then shot first to the gloves, then to the sword that Naruto had sheathed and set to lean on a nearby stone.

"B-but... I... I don't want to..."

He nodded somberly.

"To be blunt, I don't want him to have to kill you either... you're from one of Konoha's most prominent clans... it would be very difficult to explain your 'dissappearance' should we be questioned."

Despite the joking tone, she could tell he was deadly serious, and she was beginning to internally panic.

"So... we have two options. First is to have you play along for a little while until I can get you out of the building, and then have your memories 'fixed'... though repeated questioning or analysis might break the false memories, leaving the real ones open. Second... ah..."

He glanced at Hinata and sighed.

"Nah... forget the second, we'll go with the first plan. I think she still has th-"

"Um... Wh-wh-what would the second plan be?"

"... You really want to know? I doubt you'll like it."

She nodded, leaving him frowning again.

"...All right. What Laharl thinks I invited you to be, is a..."

He stumbled over the word 'minion', desperately seeking a word that wouldn't get him an up-close look at the taijutsu forms of the Hyuuga.

"... is a vassal, for me. Either to serve in battle, or I'd assume as a... uh... maid, of sorts. Plan two was that you actually become my... vassal. I told you you wouldn't like it."

Vassals... what do vassals do? The Hyuuga clan... or rather, her father, the head of the Hyuuga clan, had vassals... what did they do?

An image filled her head of her father, sipping sake from a cup as one of his vassals slowly and sensually scrubbed his back for him. The images faded and were replaced by Naruto and herself respectively... surprisingly, she didn't blush at the thought, though she came extremely close to having a major league nosebleed.

"I'LL DO IT! ... I... er... I-I mean... if you want?"

xxx

A.N.

Someone suggested Hinata as a minion, and I was already planning on altering her personality just a little bit from canon... Pervy Hinata-chan! It actually worked way better than I had planned. Anyway, enjoy, and leave a review with your suggestions for minions... by the way, slight spoiler here, but were Gozu and Meizu ever actually caught? I mean, Kakashi left them tied up for ANBU to pick up, but they could have escaped, right? They didn't neccessarily have to run back to Zabuza and lose against Sasuke again...


	5. Chapter 5

Overlord

xxx

Hinata smiled unconsciously as she stared at her hands, flexing and moving them, testing the range of motion. The gloves were perfect in every way... They were a soft off-white color of some indefinable gauzy material. It felt like she was wearing wisps of cloud and didn't restrict her natural motion at all, yet they were virtually indestructible and seemed to put more power behind her attacks somehow.

Best of all, they were perfect for her Gentle Fist style. While most Hyuuga avoided wearing gloves because they slightly distrupted the flow of chakra essential for causing internal injuries, the chakra flowed through these as though they weren't even there. Better yet, they seemed to amplify the chakra that passed through them the same way they put more strength behind her attacks. She didn't know how, and Naruto-kun didn't seem to care how they worked... only that they did. Had she checked the inside, the soft blue runes would probably have gone a long way towards explaining it though.

She smiled again and glanced up at the cloudless sky, ignoring the way her teammates were chattering to each other... or rather, the way that Kiba was chattering and Shino would nod every so often to give the impression that he was listening. Shouldn't Kurenai-sensei be here by now? She was late. Hinata would have huffed in irritation, but Kiba's chatter was fading off into a dull drone and her eyelids were getting heavier... and heavier...

She leaned back into a tree and closed her eyes.

"Hinata. Hinata, I asked you if... huh. She's asleep."

Kiba stepped back from her with a grimace, even as Shino shrugged and returned to his silent conversation with a beetle.

"Man. What a time to take a nap... Kurenai-sensei will be here any minute."

Shino grunted noncomittally... the beetle had informed him that Kurenai had been held up in a meeting with the Sandaime, and wouldn't be here for another hour at least.

"Hey... Hey Shino, check this out. Where do you think these gloves came from?"

Shino opened his mouth, probably to explain that she had mentioned them upon arriving, but was interrupted by a yelp from Kiba, who had jerked his hand back and was shaking it rapidly. Akamaru whined from his position in Kiba's jacket pocket.

"The gloves bit me!"

"... Static electrical discharge perhaps."

"No, they bit me. It hurt..."

"..."

Hinata continued to sleep, oblivious.

xxx

Naruto and his minions were training in the Item world of an old, dingy ring he'd found in the attic. It was made of tarnished brass, but that wasn't what had grasped his attention... it was the softly pulsing bluish stone set within the tarnished jaws of a dragon that had gotten his attention. He had asked Laharl about it, and been given permission to delve into the world of the item. Laharl had refused to say any more about it until he had gone through every last floor in the dungeons within the ring.

They were nearly finished, and their efforts showed in more ways than one. Mihoshi and Naruto were covered in sweat and their clothes were almost completely ruined by now... tiny streaks in Mihoshi's hair had begun to glisten with sweat despite the patina of dirt staining both of them. Even so, they continued to move with renewed vigor as they struck out with fists and feet. To the trained eye they had both improved significantly, in everything from sheer speed to a slight improvement in muscle tone... very slight in Naruto's case, as he had to actually focus some of his energies to keep his muscles from growing too much. A little bit of obvious change was fine, and would be easily explained away as extra training on his own, but too much and people would begin to ask questions.

His nonhuman minions had also improved. The orange prinny, who had turned down all attempts to name it, was wicked with its cleavers and had a special ranged attack that utilized high speed air pressure to slice its enemies from a distance. The tiny dragon, both affectionately and mockingly named Gecko now, had grown several inches and his teeth and claws were stained with multiple varieties of demon blood. He still could not produce flames, but was able to spew huge gouts of extremely hot smoke, which had proved useful as both an attack and distraction depending on how sensitive his opponents were to fire and heat damage. Most weren't really phased, but one particular creature that seemed to be made up of an ice shell containing cold water had melted into a puddle and dripped off into the vast emptiness between the islands.

Mihoshi yelled across the island, getting everyones attention.

"Just one more level!"

"But that one's the boss!" Naruto called back. "Leave him to me while you keep the weaker ones off me!"

Gecko couldn't help but interject his own opinion as he gnawed on a flailing zombie.

"This would... really be... easier... if that... girl was... here to help! Bleh, those things taste awful."

Naruto shot a hand out to crush the throat of a skull midway through a spell, then leaped back. He choked and the spell backfired, burning him to ashes from the inside out. The landscape wavered, then shifted to the bosses island, with its standard colossal statues.

"Let's go!"

xxx

Several deep gasps of breath accompanied their return to the real worlds, covered in deep gashes and lacerations. Naruto waved Mihoshi over to the healing statue, as she had taken the worst beating. The rest of them could wait until she was finished before having their own wounds tended to. Naruto plucked the ring off the platter before blinking at it in surprise.

It wasn't brass anymore. Now it was made of the purest gold, with silver teeth set in the dragon's jaws and tiny, twinkling rubies for eyes. His breath caught with the beauty of it, and yet...

"I see you remember my lessons," Laharl said, pacing in to stand by Naruto, casting a quick glance at the ring in his hand. "That leveling an item can improve it, but cannot change it outright. This kind of ring is one of few exceptions, and even in its original state it was priceless. It is a ring of the Dragon, and aptly named, as it confers upon its wearer similar properties to a dragon, but in varying levels. There were only a handful created, a few normal ones, that would grant a dragons immunity to fire... Two, one of which you hold in your hand, that grant an ability that only the more powerful dragons have, which is to actually heal while immersed in flame or molten rock... and one, legendary item, that gives its wearer the ability to actually shapeshift into a dragon. The location of that ring, however, has been lost. As has the respective items for the other elemental beasts, which were crafted as statuettes rather than rings."

Laharl smirked at him.

"Put it on."

Naruto hesitated several moments before slowly sliding the ring onto his middle finger. The sparkling glimmer of the rubies almost made the draconic visage seem... alive. He shook the thought off swiftly, barely noticing as Laharl set him on fire.

Wait a minute...

"WHAT THE HELL, I... I'm... burning, but I'm not hurt."

In fact, he was even regenerating as the fire passed over his skin, at a much more rapid rate than his normal one. Within a few seconds all his cuts and gashes had been completely healed, and his mantle had been mended of the few tears in it... although the jumpsuit underneath was charred to the point where it was nearly ready to fall off. He froze as he realized this, and that every move he made crumbled it just a little further to the point where it would fall into a little pile of black dust, leaving him very nearly exposed. He meeped and darted out of the room, fast enough that he almost missed Laharl calling after him.

"Don't forget, the humans are expecting you in a few minutes."

Naruto cursed under his breath.

xxx

Many hours later, Naruto had finally decided that Kakashi was sufficiently diverted with teaching his prodigy the basics of another fire jutsu and was ready to slip off... just as Kakashi called a halt to the training and had them assemble. Damn. Another stupidly pointless D-rank mission, when he could be training in an Item world... The Chunnin exam was only a couple of weeks away now, and he still wasn't confident in his ability to get through without resorting to something he couldn't explain away. Unfortunately...

"Today, I managed to pick up something a little different for you three. A C-rank mission, so we'll be out of town for a couple of days. Get packed, and meet me by the gates in an hour, I'll give you the full briefing then."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror, quickly masked as excitement. A couple of days... out of town? Away from Laharls training? That would set him back by... His mind boggled. A mere two days may not seem like much, and far less when one counted off the time wasted in the company of his teammates and _Sensei_... but when one factored in the incredible amount of time that could be spent in the item world, where hours, or even days could pass in the blink of an eye in the real world, two days was an impossibly large gap in his training. The mere thought dazed him, as he wandered back to the Inn.

Laharl caught his dazed, slightly horrified expression, and correctly put the pieces together after only a few seconds of contemplation.

"Sooo... You have to go out for a while to do ninja-y things then? Killing people or stealing things for minimal pay? ... Huh. I wasn't expecting this for a while... at least until this exam thingy you're so stressed about... Even so, I'll have something... _special_ waiting for you when you return. Break someone's neck for me, alright?"

Naruto was suddenly eager to leave. Whenever Laharl said 'special', what he meant was 'agonizingly, gruesomely torturous'. For a split second he considered faking his death on the mission in order to keep away... but the bond between master and student would lead Laharl to him swiftly enough. And then he would be motivated enough for something truly 'special'.

Naruto shivered as he headed for the gates, ring in his pocket, right alongside an emergency base panel... just in case.

xxx

Hours Later...

"You're late!" Sakura shrilled, a banshee wail distrupting the villager's attempts to sleep. The sun had set an hour ago, and stars had begun to twinkle in the cold night sky. Naruto and Sasuke remained silent, focusing on keeping warm rather than chastising the perpetually late pervert.

"Yo. My stove broke, so I had to go out to eat... and then the restaraunt stand fell over on me and I had to dig my way out."

"LI..." Sakura began, only to pause as she noted that Kakashi was covered in tiny scratches, and sawdust and splinters had caught in the folds of his clothes and his hair. "Oh..."

That left them wondering... how many of Kakashi's excuses had been utter bullshit, and how many of them were real?

"So, I assume you three remember the Demon Brothers, Gozu and Meizu, from our last C-rank? Well the thing is... I kinda didn't check them for hidden kunai or anything before I tied them up... and so they sort of escaped. The good thing is we know the general area that they seem to be hiding out. The bad is that we have to move by night because the desert they've settled in is famous for its mortality rates from heat and sunstrokes. Even ninja aren't completely immune to the elements."

Naruto forced his face into an ecstatic expression.

"Yosh! Lets go get them then!"

"... I don't think you get it, Naruto. This mission, we aren't going to capture them. We're going to kill them."

Naruto's wide grin grew sickly, even as Sakura and Sasuke paused to digest that last bit of information. An assassination mission? But those were supposed to be restricted to upper Chunnin and above...

"I don't like it, but all the available Chunnin squads are either out on missions or patrols at the moment, and the council is confident that since Sasuke beat them last time, they should be easy enough to handle. Don't worry. When the time comes, I'll... deal with them... personally."

It was a much more somber group that made their way out of the gates and through the great trees of Konoha's forests... although, underneath his stoicism Naruto was plotting. This mission had turned out to be interesting after all... and there was a special opportunity for him hidden within. But how to go about it? Hmm...

He was pondering that question well into the morning, when they set up camp around a well at the edge of the mountain. None of his companions really noticed that he wasn't anywhere near as exhausted as they were, two of them writing it of as Naruto's typical hyperness, and the third attributed it to the ridiculous levels of stamina the Kyuubi seemed to have granted him.

Kakashi pointed off onto the horizon, where a large, run down building stood in the middle of the desert, partially surrounding an oasis.

"That is supposed to be their hideout. We'll infiltrate at dusk, our reports say that they're alone and trying not to draw any attention to themselves for the moment. For now, get some sleep... you'll need it."

Within an hour several snores rang out over the small camp, and Naruto slipped out. He was back in an hour... twenty minutes to run to the house, twenty minutes to investigate, and a further twenty minutes to return. What he had found both surprised and alarmed him... and yet it was perfect for his plan. He closed his eyes, drifting into a dreamless slumber as he waited for the sun to set.

xxx

Kakashi had shaken them awake just after sunset, and they had eaten a quick meal of field rations and dried meat. No reason to give the Brothers a clue that they were coming, and a cooking fire would be like sending up fireworks to spell the words 'We're Here!'. The meal was finished in silence, and the nervous genins stood waiting for orders. A light breeze blew through the cold night and Kakashi nodded.

"Let's go."

They went through the desert at full speed. The moon was hidden behind a bank of clouds for now, but at any moment its pale light could spill out and illuminate the desert, leaving them as targets to whoever was looking the right way at the right time. Fortunately the clouds remained motionless, concealing them. They seperated into two teams... the three Genin slipped in through a window at the side, and Kakashi crept stealthily through the back door.

As he closed it the light flipped on, and he was suddenly surrounded by a group of high-powered Nukenin, all grinning as they unsheathed their weapons.

"... Well shit."

Naruto's ears twitched, and he turned to look out the window, ostenibly checking to see if they'd been noticed, and very deliberately facing his back to a patch of darkness just slightly deeper than the rest of the room they'd crept into. He carefully restrained himself from reacting to the silent footfalls, the near inaudible thumps of his teammates slumping to the ground as he slid the window closed... then he turned around and a large, meaty fist connected with his chin. He saw stars, and the world went dark.

A short time later Sasuke began to stir, wincing as he realized what had happened. He had been knocked out from behind, like some academy student... or a civilian. He groaned and began checking his motor functions. Everything still appeared to be in its proper position and working, despite the slight throb at the base of his skull. Annoying fangirl... he glanced at the figure on the floor with hot-pink hair... check. Worthless sidekick... his eyes narrowed as he glanced around the room but failed to note any hint of Naruto's shock of yellow hair, ridiculously orange jumpsuit, or stupid cape.

How odd. He quickly ran through his memories... slipping in through the window, grudgingly helping Sakura through as well, then leaving Naruto to climb in himself as he stepped towards the door. Then pain. Then waking up on the dirty floor. Analyzing these facts it seemed that there was only one conclusion. The brothers hadn't been alone, and their friends had meant to kidnap him, as he had defeated them last time... but for some reason they had made the mistake of taking the dead-last instead. But why...?

Kakashi-sensei burst into the room, sweating lightly and bearing many small wounds. His eye latched on Sasuke first, then Sakura, then darted feverishly around the room.

"Not here...? Where is Naruto, Sasuke?"

"Don't know. Dobe was gone when I came to."

Kakashi cursed, surprising his student with the vehemency.

"It was a trap, I was almost taken down by sheer numbers... Naruto. Sasuke, you'll have to carry Sakura until she wakes up, we have to find Naruto and go, now!"

Sasuke hesitated, then scoffed.

"Why does the dead-last matter? Let's finish the mission first, _then_ find him and go."

He never even saw Kakashi move before a fist planted itself in his gut, and rage that he'd never seen him display was obvious in his one visible eye for just a moment, all directed at him. Then it was gone, and Kakashi seemed to have calmed himself as he continued.

"That... dead-last, as you put it, is far more important to Konoha's future than you could possibly understand. You think you know everything, but you know nothing of this... we have to find him, before it's too late. Pick up Sakura and move it, damn you! I'll find Naruto, you go and wait for us at the camp. Go!"

Still stunned and slightly winded from the blow, Sasuke obeyed, not questioning his sudden obedience. Kakashi watched him dart across the desert until he was satisfied he hadn't been followed. Then he began quickly and efficiently searching the house, room by room, the same way he had during his days as a captain of an ANBU squad. He had searched most of the house before he found what he was looking for, a door that creaked open ominously to reveal a scene of carnage. Blood coated the walls, and there were at least a dozen corpses strewn around the room... they looked like they'd been torn apart by someone's bare hands...

And in the center of the carnage was Naruto, bloody up to the elbow, staring at a sheet of paper.

xxx

Turning back time just a few minutes, one would see Naruto slowly coming to, in this very room. He heard people talking, but couldn't understand... He blinked rapidly as his head cleared and everything came back into focus.

"...don't see what's so important about this gaki."

"Does it matter? We've been paid already... don't tell me you're getting cold feet. We kill the kid and we're home free, we get all the money and they'll see that we're well hidden. Even call their hunters off. The thugs downstairs will keep the Jounin occupied, and we've got some samurai in the next room to cover our retreat. What could go wrong?"

What indeed. Without thinking, Naruto's hand shot out to clamp around one of the Brother's throats... he couldn't remember if it was Gozu or Meizu. Whichever one it was, his eyes widened and he let off a gurgling noise as his grip tightened, crushing his windpipe and continuing until, with a soft crack, his body went limp. Naruto released him to fall to the ground and turned his eyes on the second Brother.

"Shit! Samurai! Help!"

The swordsmen entered just in time to see him ram the Brother's head through a wall and shove his suddenly clawed hand through his stomach. His eyes were glowing red by this point with the demonic bloodlust of his new body. He tore apart the first two even as the group began to draw their swords, and the battle afterwards was completely one sided in his favor. He licked a bit of blood off the back of his hand as his eyes returned to their normal, shining blue, and his attention was caught by a piece of paper weighed down by a spare shuriken. He tugged it out, glanced at it, and froze. Subconciously, he had already put the dots together, but to see it in print...

It was this scene that Kakashi had walked in on, and after a moment tugged the sheet of paper from Naruto's numb hands, ignoring the smears of blood on the edges. Underneath his mask he frowned. So... the Council had gone this far, to take a calculated risk against their precious Uchiha's safety in exchange for a chance to get rid of 'the demon'. But if what he was seeing was right, then...

"Naruto... You used 'it' again, didn't you."

Naruto silently slumped to the floor. Kakashi winced... he hadn't meant to sound so accusatory.

"I'm not trying to... I don't think you had any other choice, but..." He winced again. All of his tact seemed to have disappeared. All of his planning seemed to have come to a head, right here in this dilapidated old building. He needed to tread carefully, or everything would come crumbling down around him.

Delicate...

"I... Have to ask this, so forgive me, but... is there any chance that...?"

Naruto shook his head in an absent manner, working his mouth for a moment before he replied in a croaky voice.

"No... No, it's still... but I... It didn't do any of this... It gave me power, but... I..."

Kakashi immediately connected the dots.

"It gave you power, but you made the choice to kill them on your own? And because of that you feel... Guilty?"

Naruto shook his head again.

"No... I don't feel guilty. But I don't feel sad, or angry, or anything else either. I... I don't know what to feel. They were going to kill me, on orders from the leader of my own town! Should I be upset about killing them first? Should I feel guilty? I just... don't know."

"... I see... come with me."

Kakashi led his blonde student out of the house, to the pools of the oasis. There he stopped, Naruto's thoughts going a mile a minute. He'd overdramatized somewhat, but it was essential. Plans within plans... Now he would see, whether he'd read his sensei correctly, or if all his plans had come to nothing. He didn't know why Kakashi seemed to have been waiting for an occurrence as had happened in the Brother's hideout, but for good or bad he was committed now.

Kakashi stepped out onto the water of the pool.

"Pay attention Naruto. There are two ways to do this... the first is to create 'stilts' of chakra, extending from your feet to the bottom of whatever source of water you're standing on. You need to adjust the length and density of this chakra with every step you take, taking into account how far above the bottom you are."

He stepped back off the water, clapping Naruto on the shoulder as he passed.

"Demonstrate that you've mastered this ability to me, and I'll show you the next one."

For a moment, before he turned to follow Kakashi back to the camp, Naruto sprouted an evil leer. Damn... he deserved a Grammy. His plan had come off perfectly, to every little detail.

... Laharl was right. This way did pay off much better than just rushing in without thinking.

xxx

Hinata glanced around. The statues by the front door had purred appreciatively when she rubbed their ears, and the door had swung wide open for her. Unfortunately, nobody seemed to be home.

"Hello?" She called out, voice echoing softly through the empty halls.

"Is... Is anybody here? Naruto-kun? Laharl-san?"

A door to her right creaked open, revealing a yawning girl with red hair. And eyes, wings and tail.

"Yo, trying to sleep here, could you... oh, the new kid."

Hinata's eyes widened as she noted a brief flash of extremely sharp teeth in the girl's grin.

"Guess nobody told you... Naruto went off on some ninja mission thing, and Laharl went to get something ready for when he comes back. Almost everyone left with him, except me and a couple of the prinnies."

"Oh..."

Hinata sighed, sinking into a light depression. She really hadn't wanted to go home just yet, but if Naruto wasn't here... She turned to leave, but was held back by Etna's hand clamping down around her shoulder.

"Hey... where do you think you're going? You came here to train, right? And I doubt I'll be able to get back to sleep."

"Um..."

Actually, training had been the last thing on her mind... Kurenai-sensei had taught them a new tracking technique after she arrived, and they had spent the day using it in the forests outside of town. All she'd been thinking about when she wandered to the odd Inn was that Naruto might be there.

"Come on, It'll be fun! I can tell you have decent potential with spears, and I can train you better than anyone else in the Inn."

"Um..."

"All right, let's go!"

"Um..."

Within a few minutes, Hinata was dragged into a training room, handed a spear made of wood, and set to practice whether she wanted to or not. Granted, she learned much more packed into a few short hours than she ever had under anyone else, but by the time Etna-sensei had pronounced her 'Good enough... for now.' she was to the point of exhaustion where she literally collapsed on the floor and had to be carried to a spare room, one still waiting for a new minion to claim it. As she slept, her name carved itself into the door.

She was over an hour late for the team meeting in the morning. Fortunately, so was Kurenai... her alarm clock had met a grisly end by sledgehammer.

xxx

Something was different, Sasuke could tell... although Sakura still seemed oblivious. Something in the team dynamic had shifted greatly, although at first glance everything seemed the same. He had a clue, though.

Whatever had happened, had something to do with last night...

After Kakashi had ordered him back to the campsite, he'd waited over an hour for Kakashi to show up, followed slowly by Naruto. It wasn't difficult to put the pieces of what had happened together from the physical evidence. Naruto had scrubbed down well enough, but had missed traces of dried blood under his fingernails. Adding that to the way Kakashi would glance in his direction every few minutes, as though reassuring himself he was still there, the conclusion was obvious.

Somehow, the dead-last had killed at least two Chunnin level ninja, and Kakashi was keeping an eye on him in case there were adverse aftereffects. The psychologist that the council insisted he see every so often had a great deal to say on the subject of a ninja's first kill, an all the mental problems it could cause. Naruto did seem quieter than normal... a lot quieter... almost introspective. For the incredibly noisy troublemaker, that was quite the personality shift. He wasn't sure whether he wanted the shift to be a temporary or permament one.

A permament shift would hint at possible mental illness. A temporary one... would mean Naruto would return to his normal, annoying self. He couldn't decide which possibility was more dreadful.

xxx

Sakura didn't wake up until they were halfway back to Konoha, and erupted in an earsplitting squeal when she realized her crush was carrying her. Sadly, even this didn't serve to snap Naruto out of his funk, although it did trigger a wince. Sasuke sighed as it failed to elicit any further response, as he had come to the conclusion that an annoying Naruto would be better than a crazy one. After all, some records claimed that _he_ had been somewhat irritating himself before he first killed. Another Itachi was the last thing anyone wanted, even if Naruto had no clan to murder.

Sasuke shivered as images of a blonde, blue eyed Itachi danced through his head. It was horrifying. He mentally stabbed the thought with a hundred kunai, burned it to ashes, and tossed the ashes into the deepest sea.

Elsewhere, the arguably most powerful Akatsuki member, shopping for groceries under a Henge, absently plucked a package of hair dye from the rack before continuing on to the pocky isle, scowling at his itenerary. Stupid optometrist. Even though the use of the Mangekyou had begun to cause minor eye problems, he was still fundamentally opposed to wearing eyeglasses. Perhaps one of those new lenses that were actually placed on the eyeball itself?

Apparently they could be crafted to change the color of ones eyes as well.

xxx

A.N.

And Sasuke breaks out in cold chills. Not much to say here except that someone mentioned Laharl's apparent age. I don't remember exactly off hand, but when I looked it up Laharl was supposed to be like 1300 years old and looked thirteen. This all happens several centuries after Disgaea 2, so lets just say he's roughly two thousand years old now, and looks about twentyish. I could be wrong, but I think that works. Also, it just makes sense to me that if they take a twelve year old and give him license to kill, they may as well let him drink or smoke or whatever he wants also, because odds are he'll be dead before he hits the civilian drinking age.

Also, sorry it took so long to get a new chapter up, but the computer I use stopped working and had to be taken into the shop. Apparently everything inside was fried. Everything. No idea how it could have happened, but goodbye old computer, hello new one. Without any of the reference data I'd saved on the last one. :((


	6. Chapter 6

Overlord

xxx

Naruto had put it off as long as he could. Upon returning to the village, his first stop had been Ichiraku ramen, for two reasons. First, he was hungry, and second, he had to keep up the illusion of the dead-last, even if he was subtly working to slowly change that. Even Laharl couldn't argue otherwise... well technically he could, but his advice had been 'Kill all of the humans. Then you can focus on your real training.'

Naruto still wasn't certain whether or not Laharl had been joking.

After he'd finished a round dozen bowls he'd left for an unpopulated area with a pond that he'd come across a few times. He had to look like he was making an effort to learn that water-walking thing after all, even if he could just find a suitable island in the item world and fit however long it took to learn into a second.

But he could only delay this for so long, and as the sun went down it would be expected that he return to sleep at Laharl's Inn. And he probably would sleep... eventually. Laharl had worked him to the point that he could easily go fifty or sixty hours before he needed the slightest bit of rest. And then several days further before he passed out from exhaustion.

And so he warily entered the Inn, hoping to find his own minions before Laharl showed his face, so that he could at least drag them into the torture along with him. Misery loves company and all that rot.

As such, it was understandable that he nearly broke into tears when he opened the front door to find Laharl waiting for him in the entry.

"So you're finally back. How many people did you kill? I can tell that you've increased in power... I think you should be ready to develop a unique skill by now."

Naruto paused, absorbing that.

"Unique...?"

"Don't worry about that just yet... I'll tell you more later. Come on... you've got training to do."

Laharl turned and walked away, leaving Naruto behind for a moment before he shook his head and went to catch up.

"Hey... wait... this training, why did you have to go somewhere to set it up? If I could just learn it here..."

"I had to open a gate, and contact an old friend. The bureaucracy had me held up for hours, because this is a human world. Dumbasses."

"So... what exactly...?"

"You've done enough smacking things about with your staff for now. It's time for you to learn to use it the way it was meant to be used."

It took a moment for Naruto to work out exactly what that meant, but then his eyes began to glow with a fiery inner light of joy... literally.

"You mean...?"

Laharl opened a door before answering, revealing a person he'd never seen before having tea.

"I'd like you to meet Sardia, the Rune Knight, one of my more powerful minions. One thing you should know about Rune Knights is that they are powerful not just because of their aptitude with swords, but their natural affinity for magic. Sardia knows every fire, wind, and ice spell that doesn't require decades of study to learn. And she's agreed, for a small fee, to pass her knowledge on to you."

Sardia turned her head and smiled.

"It will be a pleasure to teach you... perhaps."

xxx

Naruto gasped, long and deep, as he left the item world. This time, he had chosen to delve into a more expensive orb, knowing that his magical reserves were still low... more than enough to pull of his special techniques, but not enough to be constantly blasting away with spells.

He'd been right, and Sardia had been constantly tossing things for him to drink to replenish those reserves... some of which were odd and disgusting to choke down. Full bottles of barbecue sauce, and garlic flavored water for instance. Or vials of chicken blood. They were nasty, but as long as he got them down he could feel his reserves filling back up swiftly.

And then he could continue blasting away at fake demons.

But the benefit was that he had memorized how to cast the first two levels of fire, ice, and wind spells. With that much of a foothold, the rest would come easily to him with a little bit of training.

Of course Star, or electric, magic would still elude him until he was taught the basics of it, but for now he was content with the simpler magics.

He barely managed to stumble to his bed before falling asleep from mental exhaustion, silently thankful that he had not given into Laharl's suggestions to begin sleeping in a coffin. While it was surprisingly comfortable, and certainly intimidating, it couldn't match the elegantly luxurious four poster bed that he enjoyed so much.

As he slept, the orange prinny entered the room, carefully placing the silk sheets over him and then raising the staff from the floor to be set in the stand with his other weapons.

xxx

"Laharl-sensei!"

Laharl frowned as he sipped at his wine, even as Naruto bowled into the dining room and started chattering even as he filled his plate with food.

"Aren't you supposed to be with your little ninja friends?"

"Nah... Kakashi told me to take the day off since I killed so many people, but it's just that he thinks I used Kyuubi to do it and need to rest and keep him under control. So, since we have free time, are you going to tell me about unique skills now?"

Laharl sighed and swiftly drained away the rest of his glass, the powerful alcohol not making a dent in him.

"Fine. But listen closely as I explain, and don't try it without my supervision.

A unique skill is just that, unique. Something you work out how to do yourself, through liberal use of demonic energy or magic. Most of the time you keep the trick to performing a unique skill to yourself, though there are exceptions... a certain ninja clan I came across once, as a glaring example. But typically, you keep the skill, and how to use it, to yourself so that you are the only one who can use the skill. I myself have three unique skills.

The first one... is slightly embarassing in its simplicity. I leap into the air, gathering a great deal of energy into my right hand, and then slam it into the ground, releasing the energy in every direction, but only for a couple of feet. It was useful enough, but once I became Overlord I stopped using it.

The second one I developed when I took my place as Overlord. It creates between one to two dozen floating balls of superheated plasma, and slams them directly into an enemy, or group of enemies, a short distance ahead of me. Much more useful.

As for the third, I summon a meteor to me, devastating just about everything in the general area. Simple, yet efficient."

A slow sweatdrop rolled down the back of Naruto's head as he tried to decide whether or not Laharl had been joking about that last one.

"So... by devastating you mean?"

"I mean a ridiculously huge burning rock grinding into the ground, burning to ash and crushing everything between it and the earth! HAHAhaHAhaha!"

The sweatdrop doubled in size.

"Anyway, feel free to try to create your own unique skill, but be careful that you know _exactly_ what effects you're trying to create. Describe what you want to happen to me beforehand, and I'll work on helping you through the process for your first one."

"Uh... okay? I guess I was thinking of maybe doing something... to make me stronger, or faster temporarily? Would that work?"

Laharl was frozen in place, completely still, mind whirring so fast it had left his body far behind. As far as he knew, nobody had ever tried something like that before.

"Huh... guess not."

"No, no... Actually, that's a very good idea, it was just that I don't think anyone's ever tried something like that before. You're full of surprises."

Laharl shifted and took another glass of wine, sipping at it before he continued.

"However, there is room for improvement. You just want to improve your speed and strength? Try something more along the lines of a... say... fifty percent boost to every stat. That would do nicely, and still leave you a reason to grow more powerful rather than just relying on the skill for a brief power up."

"Stats...? I don't get it."

Laharl paused again, completely surprised by this turn of events.

"Nobody's told you yet? Crap... falls to me again then. Listen close, cause I'll only say this once before we go back to your skill.

Stats measure your strength... for instance, health would determine how much damage you could take before dying. Sp, or Mana, or your magical reserves, whichever you care to call it, measures how much magical energy you have in total. Simple enough, right? I'll teach you how to check your stats, and other people's in a minute, but just remember that the higher the number, the more damage you can take, or the more spells or skills you can use.

Then there's the others. Strength, which obviously determines how hard you can hit someone. Defense, which determines how hard someone would have to hit to damage you... if they aren't strong enough, they won't be able to damage you at all physically. Then speed, which affects how well you dodge... if you're too fast to be hit, then it doesn't matter how hard someone could hit you. But to counteract that there's the accuracy, or hit rating. The higher that is, the easier it is to hit people, and the faster they have to be to dodge.

You seeing a pattern yet? Attack against defense, speed against accuracy... then there's the last two, intelligence and resistance, which are kind of different.

Intelligence is actually a misnomer... it has nothing to do with how smart you are. I've met people who are frankly idiots, but have very high intelligence stats despite that. What it really determines is how hard your attack magic hits... so technically it should be magic attack, but that never stuck. Resistance is a little confusing too, because it affects two things. How damaging magic has to be before it does serious damage, and how effective your healing spells are."

Laharl paused to take another sip from his wine, the lecture having left his mouth slightly dry.

"So, you understand now?"

"No."

"Idiot! I can't make it any simpler than that! In that case, I'm not teaching you how to check status."

"What! You meanie!"

"Forget it! Now, back to your skill... Like I said, fifty percent bonus to your current stats would work, but I think there should be a visible aspect to it also... something impressive. Flashy. PRINNY! I need a sheet of paper and something to draw with."

After a few minutes of digging through its fanny pack, the requested items were produced, and Laharl began to sketch something. Naruto leaned forward, trying to get a good look at the paper, but was restrained by the not so gentle application of a foot, dead center in his face.

"You'll see it when I'm done. Be patient and eat your breakfast or something. I'll tell you when I'm done."

Naruto pouted, but went back to his meal, only to pause as he noted something.

"Hey... did you notice that we're the only ones who ever seem to eat around here? Where's Etna? Flonne? My minions? Come to think of it, I never seem to see Etna or Flonne around either..."

"Flonne and Etna have been tending to business matters, leaving me free to focus on training you. As for the other thing, I would assume that they've arranged with the prinnies to have breakfast in their bedrooms."

"We can do that!?"

"Of course... I only eat in this room out of habit. You weren't aware of that?"

Naruto sulkily turned back to stuffing his face with the ridiculously good food. It was several minutes later that Laharl set the inked drawing down.

"Finished."

"Nice... what is it? Looks kind of like those Nekomata from the item world, but... male. And foxish rather than catty."

"You don't get it? This is the visible aspect, the impressive part of it! Modify your form to look something like this along with the stat boost, and it's obvious that you're using it. It's a demon skill, not one of your ninja tricks! Rather than being sneaky and backstabby, you want to make your power obvious, so that you are feared by the demons weaker than you and respected by those few demons that are close to matching your power! I'm training you to be an Overlord, fool... the Overlord is the strongest in the entire realm!"

"Alright, all right, I get it... but does it have to look exactly like that? I mean, I get the fox thing, because of Kyuubi and all, but does it have to be exactly like your picture?"

"Of course not... it's your skill, you can do whatever you want. This was just a suggestion. If you're done eating though, the training rooms should still be empty enought to get to work on it."

"YES! Let's go! New skill!"

xxx

Despite Naruto's enthusiasm, it was still past midnight by the time he managed to work out a way to manipulate his energy to cause the right effects... though some of the mistakes were amusing. For Laharl. A stat boost of two hundred percent didn't matter if he was fluffy and pink.

Laharl had pointed out that he had to clear his mind of everything except what he was trying to do, then demonstrated by saying one word. 'Poodle'.

After that incident, Naruto got real good at blocking out outside influences, especially when Laharl would randomly say something like 'cow', or 'rabbit'.

But in the end, it was worth it. Naruto had taken Laharl's advice about impressiveness, and taken the sketch several steps further.

Basically, the sketch had been like the Neko type demons. Mostly humanoid, but furry, with cat ears, and barely noticeable claws at the end of their hands and feet. Except for modifying the tail to look like a foxes, and making the claws a little more obvious, and the fact that Naruto was obviously male, there was basically no real difference between them.

However, what Naruto looked like now held only the barest resemblance to Laharl's quick sketch.

Yes he was furry, a bright fiery blend of red and orange fur that covered the entirety of his body. Yes he had animalistic ears, nearly six inches long and tapering to a point. Yes he had claws, pitch black, razor sharp ones. Of course there was also the fact that he looked more... bestial. Monstrous. His muscles had inflated like balloons, and he had gained a foot in height. His face had shifted to a near equal blend between fox and human, and his mouth was full of sharp, pointy teeth. His red, slitted eyes had a slight glow to them, and his feet and legs had stretched somewhat, knees disjointing and shifting to where, like a werewolf, his legs bent in two places, the top bend facing forward and the bottom one facing the rear, and his feet were now paws. A tuft of longer hair extended from the lower joint.

Of course, like a Minotaur or Satyr, his torso and arms were still mostly humanoid, even if he had muscles like a gorilla. Of course, his hands were clawed, but still maintained the dexterity of a human's.

And he was naked. Very naked. The blush as he realized this was visible through his fur, even as Laharl tossed him a black, fluffy towel from... somewhere... to cover himself with.

Still, despite the blush and the fluffy towel, nobody could say he wasn't intimidating. Except, perhaps, Laharl.

xxx

Several halls away, something similar was happening to Hinata, except in where Naruto only had Laharl to aid him, Hinata was surrounded by Naruto's other minions as well as Etna and Flonne.

"So... you wanna be a demon, right?"

"N-no... I don't."

"You sure? Flonne used to say that too, but now she's happier as a demon."

"F-Flonne-san? W-what..."

"Did she used to be? An angel."

Hinata's pale eyes widened.

"T-tenshi?"

"Yup."

"B-but... I still don't..."

"Cmon... you'll like it, I promise. Besides, you know how you're crushing on the prince's apprentice?"

Hinata's eyes widened again. She'd thought that was a secret! Surely nobody could tell just from the fact that she would blush and pass out when he was nearby, and that she would follow him around town, and that she would sneak into his room and stare at him while he was sleeping. Right?

"It was really kind of obvious... but the thing is, if you're after him that's fine, but you'll have to be at least part demon or he won't even notice you."

"He... won't?"

"Nuh-uh. It won't be because he doesn't like you or anything like that... it's just that full human's don't live long enough to match with demons or angels. Don't tell anyone I told you, but the prince's mother was a human... she went through the procedure to make her part demon... but due to certain circumstances she still died at what would have been near the end of her human lifespan. The prince was very young at the time."

"I... I see..."

"So you'll do it?"

"... Yes."

xxx

In the end, the process was simple enough once Hinata finally agreed to it, and it didn't do much to change her. Her hair was a slightly different shade, she was slightly paler, and she was the tinyest bit taller, but that was it.

And the wings. While nobody was sure where they had come from, or why, they were difficult to forget, even though they could be retracted to within her back. They were skeletal and black, and while it looked at first glance like they were only the bones, there was a light shimmer of magic between them where stretched skin or feathers would have been.

Thankfully, her baggy jacket covered the lumps on her back from view, although she now cut an imposing figure with wings fully extended and a firm grip on the demon spear Etna had given her after she had learned the falling asteroid technique. A dark angel.

None of them had any idea of the many secret, hidden prophecies of the Hyuuga they had just begun to fulfill.

xxx

After switching back and forth a few times, Laharl and Naruto had discovered something about his new skill. In his monster form, he was quite literally a monster, and couldn't use the techniques he'd learned with his weapons. He could still use the weapons, except the gloves, which didn't fit over his hands anymore, he just couldn't use the techniques for them.

Because of this, Laharl had decided that he would have to practice using his monster form as well, just in case, like monsters, he could learn more interesting tricks with the new form.

And another day was marked off on the calendar, drawing closer to the chunnin exam that Naruto had honestly almost forgotten about.

xxx

Days passed. Gecko learned to spit fire, and Mihoshi learned to paralyze people with the application of electrified kunai to their shadows. The prinny started tinkering with bombs, causing most of the household to suddenly give it a wide berth. Hinata's increased speed had helped her greatly to secretly achieve the Hyuuga's divination of a hundred and twenty eight strikes, and she had begun to work on the Kaiten.

And Laharl had been running his apprentice into the ground, day in and day out. He'd rounded out his students magic skills with basic healing and star magic, and eventually he had let up and taught Naruto the trick to checking status, and he'd been impressed that all of his stats had three digits, and four in the case of health... until he'd checked Laharl and discovered that all _his_ stats had a dozen digits and ended with a K.

The overlord was the strongest indeed. Even Etna and Flonne couldn't match him, having only ten digits and a K. The maths were confusing, but the way he understood it, they could damage him... barely... but he could kill them in a single strike if he so chose.

He hadn't learned any skills in his Monster form yet, but the stat boost was still fun to play with. And he could easily get used to the sudden ease with which he tore through enemies.

But today he was on a mission, assigned directly from Laharl. A mission that he would have probably have tried on his own eventually, if only out of sheer curiosity.

He was to steal Kakashi's copy of Icha Icha Paradise and explore its item world.

xxx

Naruto was not by nature a quiet person. Perhaps it was because of his less than happy childhood, but he was constantly beset by the strong urge to be loud and foolish, so that everyones eyes were on him.

As such, he had to battle that instinct every step of the way through Kakashi's apartment, while simultaneously masking his chakra and presence to the point where Kakashi wouldn't realize something was wrong and leave the shower to investigate.

He had, at best another five minutes to grab the book and escape. Actually, it was easier than he'd thought it would be. Given the way Kakashi seemed to treasure these books, and had multiple copies of every issue, he would have thought they would be under lock and key somewhere. Instead, they were just sitting out in the open, as though he wanted them to be stolen.

Or maybe he just thought that nobody would have the guts to sneak into his apartment. He did have a rather fearsome reputation, after all.

Blowing caution to the wind in favor of getting a headstart, he snatched the first copy he could get his hands on and leapt out the open window. It was only a few seconds later that Kakashi stepped out of the shower, still wearing his mask and headband, but nothing else aside a towel wrapped around his waist, with his one visible eye closed into an inverted U.

"If he wanted to borrow one that badly, he could have just asked..."

xxx

Well... nobody could say that this item world wasn't unique. Rather than the typically 'disturbing in a way one couldn't really explain' floating parks, islands, or crystals, they seemed to be in a set of dark, grungy alleyways in the middle of what was obviously the worst part of a town. There weren't many windows, but the few that were there held lanterns that emitted a soft red glow.

"That's odd..." Laharl muttered. "Where are the enemies?"

Equally confused, Naruto stepped up to a window and peered through it, then wiped away some of the grime and looked again, squinting..

"What is it?"

"The enemies are in there... I think. It looks like they're busy with something though, but I can't tell what through these windows."

"Busy? I'm the Overlord! I'll show them busy!"

Ignoring Naruto's stuttered protest, Laharl kicked down the door and marched into the building. Roughly two seconds later, he marched right back out.

"R-right." He said, voice wavering only slightly after being subjected to the sight of so much sweaty, writhing flesh. "ON second though, lets just leave them to their business, and find the warphole."

Most of the rest of the world passed exactly the same way, and only in the last few levels did the enemies, consisting mainly of succubi and nekomata with a few humanoid females here and there, leave the surrounding buildings to attack them... with whips, chains, lengths of rope, and fuzzy handcuffs.

For some reason, Laharl was flushing heavily as he blasted them into oblivion.

The only enemy that gave them any real problems was the boss.

xxx

"RAAGH!"

Naruto swore under his breath as he swung his sword through the gelatinous, vaguely humanoid monster in a sweeping slash. And again through the general chest area. And then an overhand chop. Each time the sword passed through it easily, leaving the thing giggling as it reformed itself.

"WHY! WON'T! IT! DIE!"

"Look out kid... looks like its ready to counterattack."

Sure enough, the slime thing was giggling in a more malevolent tone now, literally bubbling and making odd squelching noises as it launched itself at Naruto. It was faster than it looked... Naruto was able to dodge, but only barely as it shifted itself into a ball and bounced off the ground to latch on his foot. Gooey tendrils extended and began slowly writhing up his leg.

"AH! Gettitoff, Get it off! Help!"

"You're panicking. It seems to be almost completely immune to physical attacks so... blast it with fire magic."

"That'll blow my leg off!"

"I'll pay the healer's fee."

"Gah. Damn you Laharl."

"And I'm definitely going to require that you pick up a... Googirl? As a vassal, because most demons focus on physical attacks, leaving it almost completely invulnerable so long as you can keep it away from mages."

"DAMN YOU LAHARL! MEGA FIRE!"

As expected, the blast did render most of Naruto's leg worthless, but a combination of the highest levels of healing magic and his own slow regeneration factor had him walking in a matter of minutes.

And it was worth it when, the next day, after Laharl had slipped the book back with its mates, word reached them that Kakashi had been admitted to the hospital to be treated for extreme bloodloss. From his nose.

xxx

"The chunnin exam."

Naruto grunted as he tossed the application form that Kakashi had given him onto the table. Kakashi had left them with the impression that it was an individual decision, whether or not to take the test. He knew it was a lie though, that they could only enter the test as a team. But it wasn't a problem. Sasuke wouldn't think twice about entering, and Sakura, after she got over her initial misgivings, would enter as well, trusting that Sasuke would protect her. And he...

"Hey, Idiot."

Naruto let loose a friendly growl as Laharl stepped into the room.

"I wasn't able to figure out what the first or second parts of your little ninja test would be, but I did discover that the third part would be a tournament of one on one battles. Not much, but it should help. Do me a favor... and kill everyone they pit you against. Show the humans the power of an Overlord's chosen heir."

As Naruto looked up, Laharl had already left the room. His gaze fell back to the paper and a smile spread across his face as he began scribbling information down on the form.

He was looking forward to it.

xxx

The first part of the chunnin exam was... a written test. Naruto would be panicking, except that he had learned more from Laharl and his other assorted sensei than just how to fight like a demon. Compared to arithmetic problems that could cause ones brain to rupture from thinking too hard, and riddles that could and had driven people insane, the test was a breeze. He finished it in the first five minutes and spent the rest of the time doodling a sketch of Etna attacking a prinny with a giant mallet. An excellent rendition, if he did say so himself.

He hadn't even had to have Slai help him cheat, like he had planned to had the questions proven to be too difficult.

After the fifty minutes were up, the examiner, Ibiki, coughed to get their attention.

"Now is the time for the final question. But first, I have to tell you the rules. You can choose whether or not to take this question, but if you choose not to, the points of you and your team will be reduced to zero and you will fail automatically."

"WHAT?"

"No way!"

"Well obviously we're going to take it then!"

"SILENCE! I'm not finished. The second rule is... if you choose to take the question, and get it _wrong_, then the points of you and your team will also be reduced to zero... and you personally will never be allowed to take the chunnin exam again."

The room filled with a horrified silence.

"But... But there are people here who've taken this exam before..."

"That's just your poor luck. This year, I'm in charge, and my rules are absolute. If you're not confident, I'd advise you to quit now and come back next time... the tenth question is a doozy."

The room was silent once more, a sheer aura of anxiety covered the room. Then...

"I... I can't take it. I'm sorry guys, but I quit."

The first to break was followed by a flood of others. In the tension, Sakura began slowly lifting her hand to join them, but a glare from her crush that clearly stated 'you do and I will hate you forever' left her lowering the hand back into her lap and staring at the table. Ibiki waited as the flood of people leaving slowed to a trickle and then stopped entirely. He waited another moment before speaking up.

"I'll ask only one more time. Will you or will you not take the final question? This is no light matter... your very future rests on this. Think carefully."

"Hey scarface! Get on with it!"

The eyes of all the Genin in the room swung to Naruto, shocked at his outburst, and so they missed the sudden smirk that crossed the scarred examiner's face.

"You're all sure then? Very well. In that case, you all PASS!"

This time, it was a stunned silence filling the room. Then the howling began.

"What?"

"What the hell! You mean to say..."

"It was all just a trick? What about the first nine questions?"

"SILENCE! The questions served their purposes. In the ninja world, information is valuable. Say you're planning an infiltration mission... the information on how many people are guarding the building could make or break your mission! Most of you figured it out already... the questions were too difficult for genin to answer. You had to cheat, but if you weren't sneaky enough you would be caught and points deducted. Mixed among you were three chunnin who had memorized the answers. It was them that you had to cheat off of.

But the tenth question had its place as well, to test your resolve. A chunnin cannot simply quit in the middle of a mission just because it's dangerous. In fact, you could say that the tenth question was whether or not you would take the tenth question!"

Ibiki was interrupted by a ball of fabric smashing through the window. Four kunai launched out from it, pinning the corners to the walls, as the woman within landed lightly on her feet in front of the banner. Anko Mitarashi, second examiner.

"Hey, there's no time to celebrate! The second examiner is here, and it's time to move out!"

"...Anko."

"Yeah? Whaddya want Ibiki?"

"You... interrupted my speech. You're early."

Anko lifted her hand to the back of her head, barely blushing.

"Ehehehe... oops?"

"Just... Just get them to the next testing sight already."

Slai slowly wriggled across the ceiling, keeping her body stretched thin enough that she was practically invisible until she'd made it out through a crack in the window and sank into the dirt. Then she moved at a faster clip back to the inn, where a nice pool of water was waiting for her to relax and reabsorb liquids in. She was still young, and had to spend most of her time within water or she would dry out.

xxx

"Listen up brats! This is a restricted training area, used only in tests. Codenamed the Forest of Death! Inside you'll find such hazards as the pirahna infested river, carnivorous plants and animals, traps and poisonous plants and, of course, the other teams.

Now, let me explain the test. After filling out a form that leaves Konoha free of blame in the exceedingly likely event of your death, you will exchange it for a scroll. The scroll will be marked as Heaven or Earth. Then you will proceed to one of the starting points at the edge of the forest.

Upon entering the forest you will have three days to make your way to the tower in the center of the forest with two scrolls... Heaven _and_ Earth. Also, all three of your team members have to be capable of moving... if one dies, or is knocked out and doesn't wake up in time, you're out of the running.

One more thing... Try to open the scrolls before you get to the tower, and you'll be sorry!"

xxx

"Alright!" Kiba growled. "Hunting and tracking is our forte... We'll dominate this part of the exam!"

Hinata subtly cracked her knuckles, covered once more with white gloves.

xxx

"Everyone looks pretty tough..." Shikamaru mumbled. "I hate to say it, but we're probably one of the weakest groups here. Likely the only way we'll pass... is by finding someone weaker."

His eyes had latched on a loudmouthed blonde.

xxx

"It is our fate to pass this exam. Nothing can change that."

Neither of Neji's teammates disagreed.

xxx

The Suna trio was quiet, two hoping that the third would cause enough bloodshed in the forest to keep his demon temporarily sated.

xxx

"Alright, all right!" Naruto babbled idiotically. "We just have to find a scroll and go to the tower, this is going to be easy!"

"It's not that simple dobe."

Sasuke sighed as he explained, even as Sakura took their forms and went to get the scroll.

"It's not just finding a scroll... We'll have to take it from one of the other teams, who at the same time will be trying to take our scroll. Added to that, the scrolls are handed out from inside a set of privacy screens to one team at a time... there's no way to tell which team has which scroll unless they make it obvious, so if we choose the wrong target, even if we win we could end up with the wrong scroll. Also... as much as I hate to say it, it's likely that some of the teams here are stronger than we are, and we'll have to be constantly watching after Sakura. You heard what the lady said... she's the weakest member of the team, so she'll be the one that's targeted most often."

"Oh... That lady is kinda creepy though. I think she might be a little, you know..."

Sasuke sweatdropped at the irony as Naruto lifted one finger to twirl around his right ear in the near-universal symbol for insanity. Then both of them paled as a kunai zipped past, slashing Naruto's cheek open and nipping a lock of hair from the grass nin directly behind him.

"I HEARD that, brat." Anko yelled as she seemed to teleport behind Naruto. Then she grinned and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him in a facsimile of a hug.

"Little loudmouth brats like you are usually the first to die... wasting that sweet, red blood I love so much by spilling it all over the ground."

She slowly and sensually licked the trickle of red from Naruto's cheek, a display that both disturbed and intrigued the watchers. Then something in her eyes flared and she whirled around, the kunai in her hand clinking against the one she had launched earlier, held in the grass-nin's long, prehensile tongue.

"Don't sneak up on me... unless you want to die even before the test begins?"

"My apologies... but I smelled blood. And your kunai cut my precious hair. I really couldn't help myself."

A light shiver passed through most of the genin as the two stared each other down. In unision, they turned and walked away from each other, Anko to her waiting bento and the Grass nin to a waiting team.

"The second stage of the Konoha Chunnin exam begins... now!"

xxx

A.N.

All right, new chapter up! And this one is slightly longer than normal because I finally got to the chunnin exam!

So yeah, Naruto got a new minion and the Icha Icha world is a red-light district. Who didn't see that coming?

Originally the new minion was still going to be a slime, but more like the slimes from the dragon quest games, but while surfing the net I came upon this short, one page comic strip that was cute, funny, and really perverted all at once and I ended up changing my plans slightly. So came into being Slai. Real imaginative name, I know.

No whining about Naruto and Hinata's transformations! I have plans prepared for this little plot twist.

So anyway, hope y'all enjoyed, and keep waiting for the next chapter. Cya.


	7. Chapter 7

Overlord

xxx

Kyuubi, or rather Chishio, the name he had chosen for himself, was crunching idly on the bones of his latest kill.

True, the demons in this area were weaker than normal... but he had failed to take into account just how weak he had been left after being removed from that accursed human's seal.

He was barely able to deal with one of the demonlings at a time... if two or more managed to corner him, he would be history. He had to be extremely careful about where and when he allowed himself to sleep as well. Even one, if it caught him asleep, would be enough to finish him off.

He grew very still and quiet as something made a rustling noise outside his hidden hole in the ground. Damn... he hated this. It had been millenia since he'd lived in such an ignoble fashion. Hell, even when he'd joined Krichevskoys guards as the lowest of the low, an aide that would shine soes, fetch mugs of ale, and occasionally deal with the paperwork for the higher ups he had lived in far better conditions than this... and there had been the constant hopes of a chance to prove himself in battle, and earn advancement through the ranks.

He scowled silently and prepared himself for the oncoming battle as he realized just what he had been momentarily considering.

The demon poked its head into his den, and Chishio launched himself at it, claws extended fully.

xxx

Naruto paused as the disturbing feeling that someone was watching him settled. He glanced subtly around the area his team had paused in but either he was imagining things, or his watchers were very good at hiding... or under a complex genjutsu.

Laharl had pounded into his head, time and time again, to never write off odd feelings as 'just his imagination'.

"Nn... I have to... you know..."

Sakura turned a fierce red, though whether from anger or embareassment was impossible to tell, as Naruto turned to a tree and began fiddling with his pants. Her fist slammed into the back of his head.

"Idiot! You don't do such things in front of a girl! Go off a little way first."

"I don't get it but... okay, Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke sighed mentally, knowing that the blonde had actually had the right of it for once. In a situation like this, it was a bad... no, a horrible idea to go off on ones own. Modesty was irrelevant compared to the fact that there was probably at least one team waiting and watching them for just such a slip up.

He shivered as he came to the abrupt and disturbing realization that had it been _he_ who had had to relieve himself, Sakura would likely simply have flushed and tried to get a good look. Kami... he was only twelve. So was she for that matter.

He heaved another mental sigh as he set in to wait for Naruto to return... even if it wouldn't neccessarily be Naruto returning.

A couple minutes passed, and Naruto stepped back into the clearing, a wide, satisfied grin on his face. Sasuke hurled a shuriken at his head.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Teme! What the hell! What's wrong with you?"

"Shut up, Imposter!"

Sasuke lunged at Naruto, swinging kunai in both hands. Naruto barely dodged each of the swinging strikes.

"Imposter! What the hell are you talking about?"

"It was easy to tell. Your kunai pouch... er, the cut on your cheek... uh... SHARINGAN!"

For several seconds, nobody moved as Sasuke stared at Naruto with the jutsu-piercing eye technique. Then a light flush found its way to his face.

"Oops? Sorry, Naruto."

"Sorry? SORRY! You just tried to kill me, bastard!"

"I was sure that the person watching us had ambushed you... it seems I was wrong."

Sakura stared in shock as the Uchiha prince was proven to be capable of making mistakes... a humbling experience, for sure.

"Watching us... oh, him!"

Sasuke blinked.

"So... he did ambush you. But you won?"

"Not really... its weird. The second I dropped my pants, he tried to jump me from behind... but he tripped over a root and smashed his head open against a stone. Brains all over the ground."

"Huh... lucky. Did he have a scroll?"

"Yeah... this black 'Earth' scroll. Which one did we have again?"

"The white 'Heaven' scroll."

They were silent for a moment, even as a hidden snakeface panicked. This was not at all what he'd expected to happen... he'd been planning on letting that Kiri-nin challenge Sasuke so that he had a basic idea of how much he would have to hold back while testing him... with a brief stroke of luck, that plan had been countered, and if they made it to the tower before he could mark Sasuke then a large chunk of THE PLAN had just gone down the drain. He rose from the ground and began feverishly making handseals.

"Wait... if we have both scrolls, does that mean we can just-"

WOOSH!

A powerful blast of wind slammed directly into Naruto, launching him away and interrupting the team's conversation.

"What... the hell just...?"

Orochimaru stepped into the clearing, leering malevolently at Sasuke.

"Hello... Sasuke-kun."

xxx

Naruto was more than well prepared to hurtle through the air at high velocity... Laharl gave him enough practice at it, after all. He spread eagled his arms and legs, grabbing hold of his mantle to stretch it out and create more drag to slow him further, then when he dropped to an acceptable speed he curled into a ball and did a couple of somersaults to reduce his momentum and extended one foot to come down for a landing... directly in the mouth of a monstrously huge snake.

"Sometimes... I really hate my life." He muttered, as the snake swallowed its unexpected meal.

xxx

Sasuke was panicking, horrified at the caliber of this new opponent. Even with the Sharingan activated, he was only barely able to keep up. Having to nick himself with a kunai whenever the mysterious nin had brought the entirety of his killer intent to bear upon him had begun to take its toll as well.

Which was why he was running full out, an unconcious Sakura slung over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. He glanced feverishly around, knowing that his pursuer couldn't be too far behind.

'Where is he? Where...'

He was distracted from his thoughts by a loud hissing. Startled, he leapt away from the branch, barely avoiding being bitten.

'Dammit... I was so distracted that I completely missed the presence of a giant snake?'

His blood ran cold as an evil chuckle emanated from the snakes head and its mouth opened to allow the creepy grass nin to step out.

"Kukuku... prey has to flee, and focus only on fleeing... when in the presence of a predator. Run little boy, run!"

Sasuke was unable to move, completely paralyzed with terror as the grass-nin's tongue extended several feet from his mouth and tracked across the side of his face.

"But it seems, like a shocked deer, you can only freeze in terror and await the inevitable. A pity."

He opened his mouth wide and fangs extended, but something flashed in his eyes and he suddenly leapt back as dozens of shuriken and kunai impacted on the section of branch he'd been standing on.

Both of the ninjas turned to the source of the attack... a grinning, smiling blonde.

"Sorry I'm late Sasuke... I got held up by a persistent dinner guest."

Sasuke had no idea what he was talking about, but the sheer shock in the Grass's eyes proved it hadn't been expected.

"You defeated my snake Naruto-kun? Surprising... kukuku... I had just written you off as a failure, a dropout with no talent, but no mere dropout could have defeated a snake that size... and uninjured, I see. What secrets are you hiding?"

Sasuke couldn't help but try to interrupt. The dobe? Secrets? Psh. An extremely concentrated dose of killer intent knocked him out from sheer terror.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun... so dissapointing. I had such high hopes... but then, there's still time isn't there. If you would excuse me a moment, Naruto?"

"Whatever... just keep your clothes on. Anything further will have to wait for your third date."

Orochimaru didn't know whether to be amused or pissed at the comment, so chose to simply ignore it as he sank his fangs into Sasuke's shoulder.

Naruto used the opportunity to take a glance at his stats and whistled. This Orochimaru guy was tough... he would have to go all out against him. The thought brought a smile to his face.

Orochimaru removed his fangs from Sasuke, a drop of blood dripping off them as he looked down and smiled at the forming seal. Heaven... the boy had potential after all. If he survived, that is. He turned to the boy, whose constant grin had turned malevolent.

"So, Jinchuuriki... lets see just how many secrets you've been keeping."

Naruto's eyes flashed crimson.

xxx

"Sabaku Sousou."

The screams of the three rain-nin were cut off as they were crushed to death. Kiba and Akamaru were horrified at the sight from their hidden positon, and Shino had paled slightly. Perhaps it could be attributed to her new nature that Hinata was simply awed at the destructive potential of the technique.

"T-t-too strong... we have to go, now."

"Not... enough..."

The group froze as Gaara began talking to himself.

"I want... I need... More Blood!"

Thankfully, Gaaras siblings panicked and thought he was talking about killing them. A minute or two of frenzied babbling later, they had somehow convinced him to just go to the tower and wait for the next phase of the test. Kiba was literally shivering in relief as Gaara corked his gourd and walked away.

"Pansy." Hinata muttered under her breath, too low for her teammates to catch.

xxx

Naruto's grin had grown to the point that it threatened to take the top of his head of. He had been slammed into tree after tree, bitten by poisonous snakes, stabbed, his clothes burned, buried under water and mud, and zapped with three seperate bolts of lightning. At this point, he looked like he had been sent through a meat grinder, although most of the damage was superficial, keeping his regeneration from activating.

"WHY!" Orochimaru raged. "Why won't you fight back! Show me your power, Jinchuuriki! Show me the secrets you hide! Or won't the Kyuubi lend you strength?"

Orochimaru frowned as Naruto's lips curled back, turning his grin into a frightening leer.

"Kyuubi? Don't you know? The Kyuubi Is Dead. I entered its cell long ago, and killed it for its power. The power to become the next Kyuubi. And as for why I haven't been fighting full out? Me, a pitiful Genin against the Legendary Sannin, Orochimaru? All that I could possibly be capable of would be to stay alive for long enough to find a way to escape."

"But I had to make sure I was wounded enough to give the story realism."

Orochimaru's eyes widened slightly as he realized the cunning of the plan. If the boy was indeed more powerful than he seemed, then he would have to hide it from the council members, who he knew full well would likely call for his execution should he grow too powerful. As is, with the way he looked, they would only be dissappointed that he hadn't managed to die against Orochimaru.

"Are you ready for me, Hebi-kun? MONSTROUS TRANSFORMATION!"

The process of shifting to his Monster form, clad this time in a leather loincloth, from his normal one took less than a second, and the results left Orochimaru drooling. He could feel the spike in power from the shift, and could only wonder what would happen with the application of a cursed seal.

He swiftly discovered that he had more important things to worry about as Naruto's fist slammed into his face.

"Before the transformation," he rasped "You would have won against me easily enough. Your stats all read as several hundred above mine. But after the transformation, and the power it gives me... YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!"

From then on, the battle was one-sided, in Naruto's favor. Orochimaru would summon a snake. Naruto would kill it. Orochimaru would launch snakes from his sleeves. Naruto would bite their heads off in a single snap and swallow them, then leer menacingly. Orochimaru would slash or stab Naruto with the Kusanagi. Naruto would trust his regeneration to deal with the poison and ignore the minor wounds to deal bone-crushingly powerful blows to Orochimaru. Orochimaru's killer intent was brushed off and returned tenfold.

Orochimaru had no idea what he had meant by 'stats', but the boy had seemed to suddenly become an unstoppable juggernaut. If he summoned Manda, he might have a chance... but that would immediately alert the ANBU to his location and completely ruin THE PLAN. And if the Kyuubi was really gone, and all the power the boy was using was his own, then his trump card for this situation, the Gogyo Fuuin, would have little to no effect.

He scowled and broke from the battle, knowing that he couldn't last much longer in these conditions.

"Fine. You win this time, Naruto-kun... but next time we meet, the conditions will be in my favor. You may be useful to me as a vessel, or perhaps not, but one way or another I _will_ claim your power for my own!"

Naruto watched as he left, not bothering to chase after him. He didn't even flinch as he shifted back to his human... ish form and all the myriad nasty looking wounds returned to him.

He lifted his teammates over his shoulders and trekked off into the woods, looking for a suitable place to rest. He had appearances to keep up.

Over an hour later, Sakura slowly came to and stared in shock at the sight before her. Sasuke, with an oddly shaped bruise on his neck and who simply wouldn't wake up... and Naruto, who's breathing was ragged and slow, was laying collapsed in a pool of his own blood, and was covered in burns, mud, and wounds.

She came to the horrified realization that she was now stuck protecting them both until they woke up. Shaking her head, she set herself to tending their wounds.

xxx

Gecko growled softly as he tore into a raw steak.

"I'm bored. There's nothing to do in this house."

We could go train." Mihoshi suggested.

"Train, Train, Train. That's all you want to do. And with blondie of on his little test thingy we're not even allowed to open a gate to the demon realms, where we might find something fun to do."

"Like... Train?"

Slai giggled from within the glass tub she was watching from as Gecko actually began vibrating in repressed rage.

"No. Not like training. Like visiting the lava baths or touring the canyons of perpetual agony where reside the imps of malevolence."

"That sounds boring. Why do that, when we could train instead?"

Gecko snapped and lunged at her, starting the fourth brawl of the day.

xxx

Sakura had been up all night watching for attacks, and was ready to drowse off until a rustling nearby snapped her to full awareness. She sighed as she realized that it was only a squirrel, and almost closed her eyes again, but then her head snapped up as she noticed something and she hurled a kunai at the small animal, sending it scampering back off into the bushes.

"Huh... she detected the explosion tag hidden on the squirrel?"

"No... It was something else. We'll wait here for a little while. If she falls asleep, it will make things easier for us."

For hours, the shadowy figures sat there. Not moving the slightest, not a word passing between them, until dawn broke.

Sakura snapped to full awareness as the three sound genin dropped into the clearing in front of the hollow under the tree where her teammates were resting.

"We're here... to kill Uchiha Sasuke."

xxx

Sasuke was floating gently in a sea of kaleidoscopic colors, swirling and forming strange shapes, sounds, and pictures. It wasn't long before the sounds formed into cohesive words, and then sentences, and then he was watching entire memories float past.

"... thought Shisui was like a brother to you."

"You know the hand signs. Gather the chakra in your chest as you inhale, then let it out all at once as you breath out."

"As expected... you are indeed my son."

"Thanks to him, I gained this eye."

"If you open your eyes to the truth... then including myself, there would be three people who could handle the Mangekyou Sharingan. In that case... there would be a reason to let you live."

"If you want to kill me... Curse me! Hate me! Run away... and cling to your pitiful life. Then one day, when you have the same eyes as me... come before me."

"This is my world of Tsukiyomi. In here, for the next seventy two hours, you will watch as I kill the clan."

"Seventy one hours, fifty nine minutes, and fifty nine seconds to go."

"Mother and Father..."

Sasuke turned slowly away from the painful visions, coming face to face with... himself.

"Mother and Father... they didn't have to die... If I'd been stronger... faster... I could have saved them. I need power... through any means possible... if I am to avenge them."

"Any means possible..." He murmured, seemingly hypnotized.

"If I have to sell my soul into darkness..."

"THEN SO BE IT!" Sasuke roared, and the world swirled around him as the Curse seal took a permament hold, tainting him.

His eyes snapped open, and he rose to his feet, glancing only momentarily at Naruto, who had begun to stir. The tiniest stab of pity lanced through him as he took in the blondes beaten form. He could only imagine what the dead-last had gone through, to escape from Orochimaru with them... although, as a hand rose to his seal, he knew that he hadn't managed to protect them completely... not like he could. The Sannin was completely out of their league... for now.

He stepped out, into the battle in progress. Sakura. She was severely injured, and the three bearing Orochimaru's sound note on their hitai-ate were ready to finish her off, despite the interference from other Konoha nin. Time for him to step in.

"Sakura," He called. "Which one did this to you?"

"Tell us." Came a second voice. "And we'll kill him for you."

Sasuke turned his head, slightly surprised. He hadn't expected Naruto to wake in time for this... But as he watched, a malevolent red chakra seeped out of him healing every wound he could see in seconds. Interesting.

In reality, Naruto had just woken up from a nap, and seeing Sasuke pumping out a really weird dark aura he decided to improvise.

"I see you're surprised, Sasuke. But this is none of your business. Now Sakura..."

"Which one did this to you?" Sasuke finished.

Sakura could only stare at the evil power her teammates were exuding, unable to say a word as she felt such horrifying might. Zaku, with less attuned senses, had no such problems.

"Yo! I did it! What are you going to do about it, huh?"

The loudmouth sound-nin fired off a blast of compressed air as he finished the declaration, before Dosu had a chance to warn him about Sasuke's curse seal.

"Hah! Blasted em into dust."

"Blasted..."

"Who?"

Zaku's eyes widened as he began to turn to the voices from behind him, but a powerful blow launched him forward. As he flew through the air, a red blur passed him. Then the blur formed into Naruto, who kicked him back to Sasuke, who caught him and threw him into the air. Both of them leapt and attacked, Sasuke spinning a kick, and Naruto simply putting both fists together into a hammer blow to knock Zaku to the ground. As he hit, he coughed blood and went still as the two landed gently on the ground.

"That was fun Sasuke! What should we do next?"

"Hn. My power... it was given to me by that Orochimaru. Where did your power come from... Naruto?"

Naruto shrugged idly before answering.

"Y'know... It's actually supposed to be a secret, and I could get in big trouble for telling you everything about it. Suffice to say that this is a burden placed upon me in infancy... and I had to tap into it deeper than ever to escape Orochimaru. You remember the other two times I did it, right? Haku... and when we went after the Demon brothers again. The first time it was just scrapings, just enough for me to win, and I wouldn't have even used that much if I hadn't thought you'd died. The second time was just enough to save my own life... and kill a room full of Shinobi. This third time, I had to use so much more than that, to escape the serpent sage's assault. Third times the charm, I suppose... Now I can only wonder why I kept this wonderful power locked away in the first place."

Creepily, Naruto's wide grin was reflected perfectly on Sasukes face. The Sound team had already long since snatched Zaku from the ground and fled, leaving the leaves to stare in shock as the two teammates slowly began to face off.

"I wonder... which of us is more powerful now, Naruto."

"Let's find out... Sasuke."

They began running at each other, both grinning madly. At this point Sakura's voice finally began working again.

"Sasuke-kun... Naruto... SASUKE-KUN! NARUTO! STOP! If you hurt each other, we'll all fail the exam."

Reluctantly, the two ground to a halt, a mere foot between them.

"She has a point. We'll finish this another time, Naruto."

"... If you insist."

The violent chakra around them settled down, and their eyes returned to normal. Sasuke's to dark brown, almost black, and Naruto's to his bright crystal blue.

xxx

Kankurou and Temari knew a lot about their brother. He had a demon sealed in him, he was antisocial, incredibly bloodthirsty, and... Okay, so they didn't really know very much about their brother, but what they knew counted. For instance, it was a well known fact that Gaara's bloodthirst spiked for the week around the full moon. Nobody knew why this was, though some had the theory that it was because of a resonation between the full moon and the sealed demon, Shukaku, amplifying the demon's insanity and increasing its mental persistence. There were other theories, but this was the most prevalent. They were all wrong.

The reality was that that week of the month was when Gaara's PMS kicked in.

You see, the younger brother of the sand siblings wasn't the brother at all... but the sister. As things turn out, Shukaku, who had been sealed into Gaara while she was still in the womb, was an incredibly sexist pig. So much so, that he simply couldn't abide others knowing that he had been sealed into a container that wasn't male. Part of what had caused her mothers death was a subtle rush of sand piercing her body in order to form a facsimile of infant 'danglies' before she gave birth. The sand had apparently been mostly razor sharp glass flecks... the mayhem it left as it passed hadn't been pretty.

Ever since then, everyone 'knew' that the Kazekage's son was a boy. Sure Gaara _could_ make the sand that was crushing her chest flat and forming something in her pants that no girl should have disperse and reform in the rest of her stock... but the few times she'd done that, Shukaku had gotten at least _three times_ as loud and, surprisingly, whiny. Like a three year old brat screaming at her at the top of his lungs. Into a microphone. With the really huge speakers set on max.

Suffice to say, she had swiftly given up and gotten used to pretending to be male, to the point where she had to focus hard to speak in anything but the low monotone she had adopted.

Another misconception was that when Gaara was talking to her 'Mother', she was talking to the Shukaku. Not true. Her mothers soul had actually bonded to the seals keeping the Shukaku within, and so when Gaara was talking to her, she really was talking to her mother. It was just that her mother had turned into a bloodthirsty witch after she died. Excusable really, given the manner of her death.

For the moment, Gaara's thoughts were on two Leaf nin. First was Sasuke Uchiha. Her thoughts on him were simple and straightforward. He was the last of a noble clan of Konoha, yet only of average power without his bloodline. Even that only raised him to a little above average... but everyone in the village loved him. They loved him and they would give him anything he wanted without a thought, and he had become spoiled and arrogant with that treatment.

Gaara wanted to kill him, to crush his bones and wring the blood from his body like a sponge. The look of shock and horror on the villages face at the death of their 'hero' would be exquisite... and it would spite Orochimaru. She knew full well that he wanted Sasuke, though she would feign ignorance to such after killing him. Orochimaru had tried multiple times and ways to fix a cursed seal to Gaara... but the sands would not allow it. Still, even trying had earned her ire.

Then there was the second... she still wasn't sure how he had caught her attention. She had only seen him once, in passing. The Uchiha's blonde teammate. She didn't even know his name, and yet she was strangely drawn to him. She considered the idea that it was a crush. It amused her and horrified the Shukaku, who began gibbering nonsensically at the idea. After a moment she dispelled the idea. She had never been interested in boys... only the blood that they would spill.

And after all, what was there to be interested in? Soft, spiked hair like a sun kissed field of wheat, or a patch of golden dunes. Crystal blue eyes like the purest water. Whiskerlike scars that would detract from anyone elses appeal, but seemed only to add to his.

Her eyes narrowed and a frown cracked through the emotionless mask as, through the window she was looking through, the Uchiha's team approached the tower and she found herself inexplicably craning her neck to try to get a better look at the blonde. Perhaps the idea of a crush wasn't so ridiculous after all.

xxx

"So... what do we do now."

"We could..."

"So help me Mihoshi, but if the next word out of your mouth is train, I'm going to eat you."

Gecko pulled back his scaly lips to show razor sharp teeth, accentuating the statement. Mihoshi shrugged and he sighed.

"Ugh. It's difficult to have fun, when there's only a few of us. We need to convince the boss to hire a Thief. Or a Ronin. _They_ know how to have fun. You ever been to a party thrown by one of those guys?"

"Why not do it yourself... dood."

Their eyes turned to the Orange prinny who had just entered the room.

"You do know... that you are allowed to hire your own minions, so long as they are subservient to Naruto and Laharl as well... Right, doods?"

Gecko and Mihoshi turned to stare at each other for three long seconds. Then the brawl to see which would make it to the assembleyman statue first began... their sixth fight of the day.

xxx

"Sasuke, listen to me. I know its important to you to pass these prelims and continue to the third stage of the exam... but all the Jounin watching are under orders, and if they see you using the curse seal, you'll be knocked out and removed from competition. I can place a suppressor seal on it after your match, but until then you have to keep it under control. That means keeping your chakra use to a minimum... and no Sharingan."

Sasuke Hn'd in reply as the screen finally selected two names at random. Akado Yoroi... and Uchiha Sasuke.

"Remember, Don't use the seal!"

Restricted as he was, it took Sasuke a few minutes to win. Yoroi's ability to drain chakra from his palms was dangerous... in the end he'd had to adapt a hit and run strategy. Strike once, then dart away to avoid the grasping palms and then strike again. It took time, but eventually Yoroi wore down and left himself open to a knockout blow, leaving Sasuke the victor. Kakashi hopped down, grabbing Sasuke and teleporting away the second his victory was confirmed, eager to get on with sealing the curse mark.

Most of the fights following were pretty boring. The suna puppeteer faced off against a guy who seemed to be made out of rubber and thrashed him. Dosu easily won against Chouji. Zaku slipped up in his fight against Shino and blew his own arms completely off, to the point where the medic-nin were able to reattach them, but they still would take years to completely work again. That had been interesting to watch. Sakura and Ino's grudgematch had ended in a dual knockout... it was just sad.

Then came something Naruto was more interested in. Hinata's match.

xxx

Neji's eyes narrowed in disgust... and confusion. Granted, he hadn't seen Hinata in quite some time, but her body language, even if it was indistinguishable to others, was completely different from what he remembered. And the readings he was getting from her aura had changed. Like he had expected, she didn't really want to be here. But the reasons were vastly different. He didn't know why, but for some reason, Hinata actually thought she could win.

He would enjoy crushing that confidence.

"You are fated to lose Hinata-sama. You are... not listening to a word I say."

"I could be enjoying a hot soak right now." Hinata muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for Neji to pick up. "Instead, I'm stuck dealing with this crap. This sucks."

Neji's eye twitched. If he didn't know better, he would say that this was an impostor. But the Byakugan would pierce any genjutsu, and the person before him was definitely Hinata.

It was then that he caught sight of her hands.

"How foolish. You think you can even survive this match, with gloves keeping you from using Jyuuken? I'll give you one chance, right now, to forfeit. If you don't... don't expect any mercy."

"Neji-nii-san? Get fucked."

Neji's eyes widened, then narrowed as a flush of rage took over his face. In the stands, Kiba was howling with laughter, and Shino's eyebrows nearly met his hairline. Kurenai's eyes had widened at this turn of events, and Asuma's ever present cigarette had fallen out of his mouth and was rolling across the floor. Naruto was grinning widely... Etna-san had taken the time to teach Hinata how to swear.

"So be it. Proctor, begin the match."

"Jeez, Neji-nii-san, you seem constipated. How long has it been since you last took a dump?"

The enraged redness in his face grew to nuclear proportions. In the stands, people were choking.

"Or maybe it's something else. Has it been a while since you were able to get some alone time with Palmela Handerson?"

The question, and the amused, mocking tone it was delivered in, snapped something within Neji's psyche. He was seeing red.

"Hinata-sama. I'm going to kill you."

"Er... uh... Hajime?"

Neji lunged at Hinata immediately, fully offensive.

"You are within my field of divination! Hakke Ryokusho Sho!"

Hinata grinned and called out something that shocked almost everyone in the audience.

"Divination is overrated. Hakke Ryokusho Sho... Counter!"

"Two strikes!"

"Two strike counter!"

"Four strikes!"

"Four strike counter!"

"Eight strikes!"

"Eight strike counter!"

"Sixteen strikes!"

"Sixteen strike counter!"

"Thirty two strikes!"

"Thirty two strike counter!"

"Hakke, sixty four strikes!"

"Divination breaker, Sixty four strike counter!"

It was beautiful to watch. As fast as Neji could go, Hinata was always one step faster. No matter where he targeted, her hand was already there, cloaked in a thick layer of chakra to deflect his Jyuuken strike. She had developed a perfect counter to the Hyuuga Jyuuken... something that had been deemed impossible.

"How! You have no talent as a ninja! You never had any talent at the clan arts! You were fated to lose! How is this possible?"

"... Do you know... that once or twice in a generation, a child will be born with abnormally high levels of chakra?"

"How does that matter!?"

Hinata grinned, and continued her explanation... a falsehood drilled into her head by Etna-sensei.

"Did you know... that two children were born into Konoha recently, both of which had abnormally high chakra levels? One was higher than the other, and was chosen to carry a great burden by the Yondaime. That was Naruto-kun. By the time he enlisted in the academy, his chakra levels were so high, and conversely, his control over it so poor, that he couldn't use it in small enough quantities to form a simple Bunshin."

"I DONT CARE! Tell me how your Jyuuken can suddenly match mine! No amount of training could have bridged the difference between our levels!"

"... Haha... You're so impatient, Neji-nii-san. You'll never get a girlfriend that way."

"GET TO THE POINT!"

Hinata grinned at how easily she had gotten under her cousin's skin.

"The second... she could still perform normal jutsu, with difficulty, because her reserves weren't quite as abnormally large as Naruto's. But her control was still worse than normal. She was born into a clan with a special bloodline, and a special taijutsu style... that required absolute control of ones chakra. Her overabundant amounts, which would have become a gift in most other clans, became a curse. And nobody knew... because none of her clan thought to use their bloodline to look past the girls normally sized coils to the amount of chakra flowing within."

Neji's eyes had widened, and he activated the Byakugan, confirming her story. Sure enough, while her coils were perfectly normal, average in every way, the chakra within them took a bit more effort to see, and most certainly was not. It was like having three gallons of water in a one gallon can.

"You see, Neji-nii-san, before now I simply couldn't tone down the rush of chakra from my tenketsu to the momentary, needle-prick of precision that Jyuuken requires. I could tone my chakra down to use a sad fascimile of it, yes, but the effort left me drained and I swiftly fell behind the rest of the clan. Then, someone gave me these gloves. I accepted them because they were from someone I admire, and after all, I could always take them off when I practiced. But I forgot to take them off. And I discovered... that the effort of pushing the chakra through the thick gloves, combined with a bit of control, reduced the flow to the point where I could do Jyuuken properly. Perfectly. To the point where I could... improve upon the style."

Neji snapped.

"Not possible. Jyuuken is the ultimate taijutsu style. You cannot improve upon perfection!"

"..." A sigh. "Neji-nii-san... you're still so naive."

In the stands, Naruto was fidgeting. He'd expected this to be an interesting fight... but it seemed all they wanted to do was talk. He had to interfere, and he leaned over the rail.

"Hey Hinata! This is boring! Send him to the hospital already! And if he has to stay there for more than a day... I'll buy you dinner."

Hinata froze. Dinner. Dinner plus Naruto equaled date. Dates lead to affectionate hugs, which lead to romance, which lead to fevered groping in dark, out of the way corners, which lead to...

To Neji's immense confusion, Hinata's left nostril emitted a thin stream of blood and her eyes glazed over as she tugged her gloves off.

"Neji-nii-san? Do me a favor... HOLD STILL AND DIE!"

Neji's eyes widened as a red spear with a massive head popped into existence in Hinata's hands, and she thrusted it at him so fast that he barely managed to leap away. The spear head impaled itself fully into the stone wall.

Which exploded outwards from it.

"Dear kami." He muttered in awe. Had that... had that been Jyuuken? Channeled through a weapon? The primary facet of Jyuuken was the needle like strikes that temporarily sealed tenketsu and rendered an enemies chakra unusable. Its secondary use... was to force chakra into an enemies body in larger quantities to deal explosive damage to internal organs. Neji himself could do such a thing to the stone wall... but not leave such a crater, and it would leave him weary. To channel Jyuuken through a weapon... he hated to admit it, but that would definitely be an improvement.

Hinata didn't show any signs of fatigue at all as she jerked the spear out of the wall and leapt at him again. When had she learned to use a spear anyway? She thrust it at him several times over the span of a second, the drew it back and twirled it to gain momentum as she lunged again, leaving a large, bloody gash in his side as she passed. He knew he should have focused on learning the Kaiten. 'No' He'd thought. 'Leave it for later.' He'd thought. 'You'll have a whole month in between the end of the second and the beginning of the third exams'. Except now weak, timid Hinata was kicking his ass and had a counter for his best attack. He supposed he could try it again and hope she couldn't block with the spear, but that would leave him temporarily open to be skewered. She was trying to put him in the hospital, after all.

She leapt in the air, inverting the spear as she stretched her legs around it and it came down like a stinger towards his head. Again, he barely dodged, and would have attacked but Hinata somersaulted backwards, jerking the spear out of the ground and coming to land with her spear held loosely by her side again. With that stupid grin plastered on her face. He growled and charged, momentarily losing his control over the rage that had been building since the beginning of this fight. He was fated to win. He would win!

She kept smiling until he was only a foot away, and beginning his attack.

"Hakke..."

She was gone. Dreading what he would see as he returned to his senses, he looked up. Once more, she was falling at him, spearhead first, but this time there was a more ominous glimmer to it. He didn't even bother to use the Byakugan, knowing full well what was about to happen. He managed to dodge enough that the spear only scratched him lightly as it fell, but couldn't jump away in time.

The floor beneath him exploded, launching him away and into a wall. He started to slide down, but stopped as a dull thump sounded somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach. He looked down stupidly, to see what had made the noise. It was the spear, buried deep into his guts. Oh.

"How did you like the asteroid drop, Neji-nii-san? Pinning you to the wall was just a little something extra, to make sure they keep you in the hospital long enough for me to claim my reward. Proctor, I win. Call the medic nin... wouldn't want Neji-nii-san dying on us now."

Neji passed out.

xxx

The following couple of matches were pretty boring, mainly because he wasn't participating in any of them. Shikamaru took a minute to deal with Kin's Genjutsu, then used his shadow possession to make her slam her head in the wall. Then Gaara, who seemed ticked for some reason, all but crushed Lee's arm and leg into paste with his sand. Tenten versus Temari was pretty interesting, but Tenten never really stood a chance against the wind mistress. Then finally, it was his turn. He jumped down into the now near-completely destroyed battleground, followed swiftly by Kiba.

"Alright, Akamaru! For a little while, I'd been worried that we'd end up fighting someone hard. Let's finish him off in one shot!"

"Arf."

"Hajime."

Kiba needed no further encouragement to throw himself into battle, immediately using shikyaku and launching a Tsuuga. Naruto watched the spinning attack come for him and, at the last moment, stepped aside and watched Kiba continue on, to where he slammed headfirst into the wall.

Akamaru stared at Kiba, then the wall, then back down to the collapsed Kiba, as though he wasn't sure he had just seen that happen. In the stands, people were blinking in shock, and Kurenai palmed her face.

"Kiba... you idiot."

None of the Konoha ninja, save Hinata, had noticed what had really happened. Kiba had actually managed to stop the Tsuuga a hairs breath from the wall, for fear of damaging it. At the exact instant he'd stopped, Naruto's hand had reached out and grabbed his head, slammed it into the wall, then withdrawn to his pocket so fast that nobody else had seen it move. Sure once Kiba woke up, he'd know the truth... but nobody would believe him. They would all think that he was just trying to save face for his stupidity.

In the stands, Gaara's eyes narrowed as she reviewed what had happened. She hadn't seen much... just a light blur to Naruto's side... but it was obvious that the dogboy's idiocy had been assisted. Her interest in Naruto had piqued... and surprisingly, she still didn't feel the slightest desire to kill him.

How odd.

"Ahem. Now..." the proctor coughs heavily into his hand, earning a couple raised eyebrows. "If the victors would please draw a number from this box..."

The slow procession to the box began, and everyone determined when they would fight by the numbers they drew from the box. Sasuke, being absent, recieved the last number.

"Alright so the battle plan is this. In the first round, Uchiha Sasuke will fight Sabaku no Gaara. In the second round, Temari of Suna will be matched against Uzumaki Naruto. In the third, Kankurou has been matched with Hyuuga Hinata. And in the fourth, Shikamaru will fight Dosu of Sound. Shino will continue on to the second set of battles without having to fight, and will be matched with the winner of the first round."

The proctor began coughing again, and everyone gave him a minute to get ahold of himself.

"You have a month to prepare for the final stage of the exam. The use of training grounds twenty seven and fifty four have been allowed to the Suna and Oto teams respectively. Train hard, and make sure you are well prepared for the tournament... for you will be competing in front of an audience and lords of all countries."

"Hey, wait." Kankurou yelled out. "Does that mean that only the person who wins the tournament will advance to chunnin."

"Of course not. You will advance, or not, depending on your fights, yes... but it is as likely that everyone will pass as it is that nobody will. What is important is that your conduct in battle suitably befits a chunnin. Now get out of here... the prelims are over."

It was still barely noon.

xxx

Naruto affixed a big, stupid smile to his face as he hunted down Kakashi. He didn't really want too, but it would look out of place if he didn't ask his sensei for instruction before going off to train on his own.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei..."

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I'm going to be busy training Sasuke."

Outside, Naruto's expression changed to one of sadness, with a dash of hurt thrown in for flavor, while inside he was jumping for joy. This meant that he would be able to train on his own... although the Item world had grown slightly stagnant recently, Laharl had promised to begin opening gates for him to begin training in the Netherworlds. He would be able to begin openly training with his gun, which Laharl had assured him would take a lot more work to master than anything else.

"But don't worry... I've made special arrangements for Ebisu to help you out."

The mentally dancing image of Naruto fell to the ground and died.

"THE CLOSET PERV!"

xxx

A.N. Wow... this one got pretty long. I'd actually intended to continue on until the actual tournament, but seeing how long this chapter is, I just decided that was a good place to stop. Anyway, we got the first fight with Orochimaru in, there will be more, trust me. Hinata completely pwnes Neji-nii-san, and some of the by-products of being trained by Etna have become obvious. As you can see, she's almost nothing like sweet little canon Hina-chan anymore.

Also, who likes fem-Gaara? I've so far found exactly one other fic where Gaara was really a girl. That just doesn't make sense to me, because all the sand covering his body would make it a hell of a lot easier to hide such a thing. On the other hand, there seem to be hundreds of Fem-Naru stories, in a village full of Byakugan and, until the massacre, Sharingan users who would easily see through the simple Henge most of them have Naruto use to hide it. I just don't like most fem-naru fics, but fem-Gaara makes a whole lot more sense to me.

And we'll definitely have Jiraiya's entry next chapter, though I'm debating what to have him teach Naruto. For my own reasons, I don't want him to learn summoning jutsu. Maybe the Rasengan, which can be helped subtly along by the orange prinny? Or maybe something else... Hiraishin or Shunshin. I'll decide when I get there, I guess.


	8. Chapter 8

Overlord

xxx

Naruto was scowling internally. Not only had Kakashi assigned the closet pervert to keep an eye on him while he trained, but he was back to water walking again... only on top of a bubbling hot spring instead of a cool lake. Supposedly, this would give him incentive to do it properly. Naruto just thought that Ebisu was a sadistic pervert who enjoyed his student's pain a bit too much.

Naruto finished his set of fifty crunches on the surface of the bubbling pool and rolled up into a sitting position.

"Alright, now I want you to..."

Naruto was desperate to create an opening to slip away, or at least catch a breather from this pointless physical exercise. Why would he want to bother with this when, with his partly demonic nature, he could improve far faster just by killing things? Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught the perfect opportunity.

"Hey Ebisu-sensei! Check out the old guy over there, peeping on the girls."

"P-PEEPING! I, Ebisu, Honorable Jounin of Konoha, shall not stand for such outright lechery."

The white haired man seemed to ignore him as he charged, but was making seals. Once Ebisu got close enough, he made the final seal and a large toad popped into existence, grabbing Ebisu with its tongue and slamming him into the ground. Jiraiya smiled... now he just had to wait for Naruto to attack him himself, or beg for training from him and he could begin paying back the debt he owed to the Yondaime. Although it was more likely, given what he'd heard of the boy's personality, that he would both fight and beg. He would write it off as 'testing' the person who had so easily beaten a Jounin... and... shouldn't he have attacked, or introduced himself, or done something by now? Jiraiya turned to stare, and a sweatdrop formed on the back of his head. The boy had left.

That... hadn't been in his plan at all. How troublesome. If he didn't train the boy, he would be left wide open for _them_ to take him.

xxx

"WHAT THE HELL! Itachi looks like me... yeah."

"Deidara's got a point Itachi. What the hell...?"

Itachi, now blonde, gave ample consideration to his partner's question as a brooding aura set about him... and the knitting needles in his hands clicked rapidly together.

"I'm not sure why... I just felt that, for some reason, doing this would cause my foolish little brother pain. I didn't think twice about it."

Kisame shrugged and went back to his meal... a dolphin, fried on a spit. He'd overpowered the thing and drug it to shore himself... for some reason, he got an immense feeling of satisfaction whenever he killed a dolphin. As though he was an instrument of vengeance. Weird.

xxx

Jiraiya shuddered at the idea of leaving the Yondaime's chosen completely defenseless against the horrifyingly powerful association of S-ranked nukenin. Even though they only worked in pairs of two, he would stand no chance.

xxx

"THAT MUCH for an okonomiyaki! That's ridiculous! I'm gonna go eat at the base, Hidan."

"Bless me Jashin-sama, as I devour this meal in your name. For anything less than complete annihilation of this quadruple size okonomiyaki with all the toppings except spinach would be a sin. Amen."

xxx

Cursing, Jiraiya stood up to follow the brat. He had to convince, coerce, or trick him into accepting his training, or else... Akatsuki would get him.

He leapt to the roofs and began scanning the village for any sign of a blonde wearing a cape. Whether their meeting went as planned or not, this was important!

xxx

Sasori was sitting in the middle of the base, using the puppet he had crafted from his own body. Very seldom did he regret doing it, as the benefits of the decision had been to many to count. But still... occassionally...

Zetsu looked up from the corpse he had drug into the base to the brooding puppetman.

"Is something-_wrong, Sasori?_"

Sasori looked up and sent the plantman a serious look.

"I miss my danglies."

Zetsu could think of no correct reply to such a statement, and so simply turned back to his meal.

xxx

Jiraiya was pissed. He had been trailing Naruto through the village for some time now. At first it had been simple... He'd caught the trail of Naruto heading to a set of training grounds, and swiftly made to catch up with him while concealing his presence... only he had slipped up somehow. The moment he neared Naruto, the boy had paused, and his head had swung to lock gazes with him. Then that wide, stupid grin had come and he formed a ram seal, summoning four Kage Bunshin. They scattered. Jiraiya had cursed and created just as many to follow them... he was really starting to dislike this kid.

He would dislike him more soon. Every single set of Bunshin ran his through a guantlet of tricks and traps that led to the ultimate dispellation of both. He was incredibly lucky, he realized, to have chosen the real Naruto to follow... the memories of some of those traps... he wasn't sure he would be able to evade them himself if it came down to it.

"Wow, old man... you're pretty determined to talk with me aren't you. I'm not gonna apologize for interrupting your peeping though, so you can just go away."

Peeping? The little brat still thought it was about peeping? Oh no... this was far beyond peeping now.

"Well, brat... at first it was because I'd knocked your instructor too loopy to teach and wanted to apologize... but with the feedback from my clones, you've impressed me! Well done! I, Jiraiya, the Toad Sage of Mt. Myobuko of the Densetsu no Sannin will now personally oversee your training."

For some reason the brat was beating his head against a tree.

"Not interested old man. I have my own, _private_ ways of training. So I appreciate the offer, but no thanks."

"... You sure kid? I don't think you fully understand what you're turning down, here. I was trained by the Sandaime... and personally trained the Yondaime. But I understand if you don't want to be trained by someone you've never met. Take a day or so to think it over, ask some ninja about me. Ask the Sandaime. You'll find I have quite the reputation. Once you change your mind, you'll know where to find me."

The sannin turned to leave, but paused and tossed something over his shoulder for Naruto to catch. It was a scroll.

"Think of that as a token of good will... and a hint of the things I can teach you. Typically you can't learn that technique until you're Jounin level... although there's no real rule against it."

He disappeared in a swirl of leaves and Naruto turned to head back to the Inn, but paused, ever so slightly curious about the scroll.

The label read 'Shunshin'.

xxx

"The Hokage will see you now, Hyuuga-sama."

Hinata grunted and stepped into the office, obviously irritated about being held off from the incredibly good hot tubs that came with her apartment at Laharl's. She hadn't slept in the clan compound for more than a week... not that any of them had noticed, but now that she'd kicked the shit out of the 'prodigy', someone was going to figure it out. She didn't much care either way.

"Ah, Hinata-chan. I'm sorry, but I called you here because I wanted to ask you a couple questions."

"Naruto-kun told me."

"Hm?"

The Sandaime arched an eyebrow, but motioned for her to continue.

"About that, Hokage-sama. His burden."

"And I thank you for putting it in such vague terms in front of the audience. Though I'm sure one or two of them will put it together on just that. I made it illegal for anyone to come out and say it, but I never said anything about people putting things together from clues... and if they're intelligent enough to do that, then they're intelligent enough to realize that Naruto is not his burden. However... that's not what I wanted to ask. What I want to know is... during that fight... where did that spear come from? You made no handsigns indicating you were going to summon something, and yet it appeared out of nowhere."

"From my pocket."

The Hokage blinked, nonplussed at the statement.

"But..."

"I figured it out by watching the Akamichi... nobody questions when they pull a family size bag of chips from their pocket. Why question this?"

He was stymied. True enough, he had seen just that happen a time or two... and had even intellectually noted that there was no possible way the sack of chips could have fit in the first place... but it was just something that the Akamichi clan did, and he never questioned it.

"Hm... of course, there's also the question of where you learned to use that spear in the first place."

"That... is private, Hokage-sama, and I'd rather not say. Though, if I may apologize in advance for my rudeness, nothing about my training constitutes a danger to the village, so frankly it's none of your business."

Sarutobi nodded, grudgingly granting her the point. When he looked back up, she was already gone.

xxx

Naruto stared at the house. It looked normal, but... something was different. Where were the door guardians? And... what was that soft pulsing noise in the background? Was that... supposed to be... music?

One of the door guardians flew through a window, screaming in drunken glee, shattered glass tinkling as it followed him to the ground. Suddenly the blasts of sound escaping the house became nearly overwhelming. Naruto blinked and then scowled as he marched into the house.

How dare they throw a party without letting him know.

He immediately began setting myriad nonlethal traps and pranks in their bedrooms, pausing only momentarily when he came across rooms marked with names he'd not met before, but writing it off as unimportant. Five rooms he left alone. His own. Laharl's, Etna's, and Flonnes, because he didn't dare enter them. And Hinata's, because she'd been off in the Chuunin exams with him and had nothing to do with this.

He grinned at the idea of drunk minions wandering to their beds, only to have to work their way through layer after layer of traps... then he paused to wonder how they'd gotten drunk in the first place. He himself had a low alcohol tolerance for a demon, but would have to drink an entire bottle of high proof liquor to get even the slightest bit tipsy... it would be expensive. The thought of how much it would cost to get just Gecko wasted... He shuddered, thankful he wouldn't be picking up the bill.

xxx

Gaara attempted to focus on her meditations, failing miserably as the sand swirled menacingly about her. No matter what she focused on, the wind over sand dunes, the burbling of a stream, the chirping of birds, it was always swiftly replaced by the image of a certain blonde. Upon trying to meditate on the image of the blonde, things only got worse. Fortunately, she'd managed to keep the damage contained, but the training ground now had a patch of desert the size of a large house in it.

Emotion wasn't something Gaara had much experience in, ever since the betrayal by Yashamaru. Typically, she had two... Apathy, and overwhelmingly homocidal rage. And now this third, which the blonde inspired so fiercely. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't classify it. Strange.

"Temari. Kankurou." She barked, knowing that they would be there in moments. And they were. She kept her eyes closed for another few moments before opening them and glaring.

"I've decided. When the time comes... I will not be aiding the attack. If you do... I'll kill you both."

"B-but Gaara! Without you, Suna won't stand a chance against..."

The sand swirled, cocooning Kankurou swiftly, until everything below his neck was covered in a thick layer of sand. He began sweating heavily, and Temari wisely kept her mouth shut.

"O-on... On second thought... who cares about Suna... Right? Dumbasses can all die."

Say what you like about him, but living with Gaara had finely honed Kankurou's survival senses to a razors edge, and he was far more terrified of what Gaara could do to him in the here and now than what _might_ happen if someone from Suna discovered their plans to ditch them when the invasion began. Possible torture and death later or certain torture and death now... hmm.

The sand dropped back to the ground at his affirmation of current loyalties, and Gaara's glare even lessened just a tad.

"Continue training. Or not, as you please."

Gaara stood and left them, heading off on her own personal mission. To gather information on the enigma that was Uzumaki Naruto.

xxx

"Hiashi-sama."

The Hyuuga head snapped his little orange book shut and slid it into his desk before making it look like he was busy with paperwork. The seals in the walls blocked the Byakugan sight entering his office, keeping his tiny little secret addiction safe, while still letting him look out if need be.

"Enter."

The branch house member, whose name he'd never bothered to memorize, stepped into the office and bowed deeply.

"Hiashi-sama. As ordered, I infiltrated the forest tower to gather information on the genin who have thusfar passed the exam, and have good news. Both your daughter and your nephew made it to the preliminaries of the third stage."

"Hinata? Better than I had expected of her. Go on."

"Yes sir. In the first preliminary match, Uchiha Sas-"

"Yes, yes, yes... let's just skip ahead to the important ones."

The branch member sweatdropped, but nodded.

"Very well... Neji and Hinata were actually matched up against each other, and-"

"I've heard enough. Purchase tickets to the tournament so Hanabi and I can watch Neji demolish the competition. I've always said such talent was wasted on the branch family."

"But..."

"You can leave my office now."

"But sir..."

"If you aren't out in the next three seconds, I'll activate the caged bird."

The branch member left, mentally cursing. He just knew he was going to get in trouble for this... Why wouldn't Hiashi-sama listen?

Hinata had won...

Inside the office, Hiashi had withdrawn the orange book again as the door closed.

"Ah, now let's see what happens next... No, Koori-chan, don't believe that bastard! He's been sleeping with Aoi, and just wants your money!"

xxx

"Uzumaki Naruto? Why do you want to know about him? Oh, I get it... you're going to kill him in the tournament. Good luck to you, boy! Splatter his worthless guts on the ground!"

Gaara's eye twitched and she had to forcibly restrain herself from crushing the annoying shopkeeper to paste with her sand. Just about everyone she'd asked had said something on the lines of what this one had... and the ones who didn't seem oddly gleeful about Naruto's possible death were unwilling to spill information on their fellow leaf-nin to an outsider.

It was frustrating, and made her want to kill someone.

She glanced up at the sky, where stars had begun to twinkle after many hours of wandering the village. Time to head back to the apartments Suna had rented then. With any luck, she'd do better tomorrow.

xxx

"NARUTO!"

Naruto immediately jerked into awakeness, incidentally falling completely out of bed at the tender "Good Morning."

"UH... bwah... huh? Laharl? What?"

"Yesterday, your minions got minions. They and their minions threw a party. That party was expensive. What do you plan to do about it?"

Naruto blinked.

"Hey, wait a minute... Shouldn't they be dealing with it?"

"Lesson time kid... You are responsible for your minions. Your minions minions are your minions by proxy. As such, you are responsible for their minions as well. Due to their actions, we are now low on funds. Very low. What do you plan to do about it?"

"..."

"Here's a hint. In the netherworld, Might nearly always makes Right. If you can take something by force, then you deserve to keep it until someone stronger can take it away, hence why thieves are such popular minions. Conversely, if you are weak enough to have something stolen from you, you deserve to lose it forever. The only people exempt from this rule are the shopkeepers, who have special magic that keeps their stock from being stolen. Nobodies ever managed to weasel this spell out of a shopkeeper though."

"... So... we go to the netherworld and beat up demons for their money now?"

"Eh, close enough. We go to the netherworld and find an _incredibly rich_ demon to beat up for his money! Perhaps we'd better leave your minions out of this though... they'll be really hungover when they wake, and _someone_ set up pranks in their rooms."

Naruto had the decency to look embarassed at that.

"Ah... but... I left Hinata's alone! So..."

"Cool it. When you've been around as long as I have, you'll learn a thing or two... and that is that no matter how strong you are, it's never a good idea to interrupt a girl's beauty sleep. No matter how tough you are, a girl can make you hurt in ways that cannot be described. Hurry up and get changed into something you don't mind getting bloody... rich demons can afford to buy the loyalties of mercenaries."

Naruto grunted as he stood. As he grabbed a set of clothes and left to change, the scroll he'd been given fell out and rolled across the floor, coming to a stop at Laharl's feet. Curious, he picked it up and opened it.

Several minutes later, Naruto stepped back into the room to find Laharl deeply engrossed in...

"Huh... that's the scroll that old man gave me."

Laharl blinked and rolled the scroll up.

"Naruto... before we go, tell me about this old man."

"Hmm... not much to tell really. Kakashi set me up with the closet perv as a teacher for the exams, and I set him on an old man who was peeping on the girls at the hot springs and snuck away. The old guy apperently knocked Ebisu out, and wants to train me now for whatever stupid reason. Idiot. Demon techniques are way better than anything humans can think up."

A long silence fell between them before Laharl spoke up again.

"Naruto. I think you've forgotten that before I came, you were completely human. You are still mostly human. And you are overestimating demon techniques."

"But..."

"The main point of demon techniques is destruction, plain and simple. Just looking at the human technique on this scroll... its use would be infinitely valuable to any intelligent demon... but most, like you, seem to only be interested in new ways to blow something up. There is only one thing equivalent to this technique in the netherworlds, and warping is completely random and best avoided. This however, is like warping but under full control of the user."

"But Laharl..."

"As of now, I'm ordering you to learn this technique. You don't have to accept direct training from this old man if you don't want to, but you must learn his techniques to the best of your ability. Being his student would be the easiest way. You'll go and do this now... I'll take care of the money situation just this once."

"But..."

Laharl beaned him in the head with the scroll.

"Just do it. If you're still so opposed to learning human techniques, then keep in mind that the faster you learn what that old man has to teach you, the faster you can get back to learning what I have to teach you."

"But... I understand, Laharl."

Laharl waited to speak up again until Naruto had tucked the scroll away and was at the door.

"One more thing Naruto. Keep in mind that you have dinner plans today... Hinata was most pleased to inform me that her opponent wil be held in the hospital for a week for observation... apparently they had to replace a small length of completely mangled intestine."

Naruto blinked, putting the pieces together.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot, I promised to buy her dinner didn't I? I'd almost completely forgotten."

"Good thing I reminded you then... or she may well have killed you in your sleep."

"... Eh?"

Laharl blinked.

"You... really hadn't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"She goes red and faints whenever she gets too physically close to you!"

"Eh? I thought that was just something about her being a Hyuuga."

A long silence fell through the room.

"I mean, everyone says the Hyuuga are stiff, arrogant bastards, but I've only met Hyuuga girls and while they were all slightly weird, they were nothing like that. Like..."

_Naruto, roughly five, is sitting in a hospital bed, IV drip placed in his left arm as he eats with his right. He finishes the meal and pouts cutely at the empty tray._

_"Stiw hungwy..."_

_"Aww, that's so cute. Tell you what, I'll sneak you in some extra food later... but you have to call me 'Nee-san'!_

_Naruto looks up at the smiling, pretty lady with odd eyes and makes his choice instantly._

_"Okie 'Nee-san!"_

_"Kawaii!"_

"... Then there was..."

_Naruto, around six, covered in mud and heading to a stream to bathe and wash his clothes._

_"Little boy? Where are you going?"_

_Naruto turned to see who was calling to him. It was a pretty lady... with eyes like the lady in the hospital._

_"Gotta take a baff."_

_She blinked and looked past him, slightly horrified._

_"In the stream? Come with me."_

_Naruto followed the lady to a district with hot springs, where she led him into a building with the Hyuuga mark on it._

_"Excuse me. I'm sorry everyone, but we have a visitor today... I just couldn't leave the poor boy to soak with the fish in the stream."_

_Naruto stared at the group of women as he hid behind the first woman's leg. Unbeknownst to him, this made him look about half his age, and instantly appealed to the crowd's motherly instincts._

_"Oh you poor baby..."_

_"Get him out of those clothes, he's shivering in the cold mud."_

_"Aw... can't believe he's so cute. Yondaime-sama should have picked an ugly child."_

_"Wonder what he'll look like when he's older?"_

_A fit of giggles filled the private hot springs._

"Actually, I didn't understant what they meant about the Yondaime until recently... but then there was that other time too..."

_Naruto, age ten, busy training._

_Naruto panted as he finished another lap and then dropped the rocks under his arms to the ground. He collapsed to his knees, sweat dripping off his brow._

_"Wow kid... I'm impressed. What was that... twenty five laps around the entire park? Nice work for a kid. You're going to have all sorts of _stamina_ when you get older, aren't you?"_

_A raven-masked ANBU dropped from a tree and walked toward him. Through the eyeholes of the mask, he caught the briefest glimpse of the pale eyes he had come to recognize as that of Hyuuga._

_"Tell you what kid... in a few years, if you want some _special_ stamina training, head to the Hyuuga branch house quarters and ask for Setsuna, the branch member. I'll make sure the guards know to let you through when you ask."_

_She walked away with a spring in her step as Naruto lifted the rocks and began running again, having paused barely long enough to catch his breath._

"Come to think of it, I'd completely forgotten about Setsuna-san's offer for training. If I have to learn ninja techniques again, maybe I should take her up on it... Laharl? Laharl-sensei?"

Laharl was just staring, obviously frazzled. His hair had toinged out in several directions and his eyes were wide.

"I... You... Hyuuga... I... Seriously? Hot springs... Stamina?"

Realizing that Laharl might be this way for a while, yet having absolutely no idea why, Naruto wandered off to find that damn old man.

Nearby, the prinny was listening. An old man, who had been peeping on the hot springs? Surely it couldn't have been...? It waved a ghost over. A short, whispered conversation later and the ghost faded out of view as it followed Naruto out of the inn.

Then the prinny took a moment to take pride in the boy becoming a chick magnet, even if he so far seemed to only attract Hyuuga, and probably had no idea what to do with them.

xxx

"Yo."

Jiraiya jerked up, and spun around to yell at whoever had surprised him... then his eyes widened and he clamped his hands over his mouth. That was close...

"So, kid," he whispered, keeping his voice low enough that the kunoichi in the baths couldn't hear them. "You've decided to accept my training then?"

"Not quite... I've got a few questions. Maybe we should take this somewhere else though?"

Jiraiya grumbled, but understood the point and followed Naruto. After a few moments, they came to a stop on top of a building.

"Ah... this should do. Now tell me... IF I accept, how do you plan on training me?"

"Eh? The normal way, probably. Spend part of the time training you physically, upping your Taijutsu. Test you to see if you're any good at Genjutsu and train that. Test..."

He droned on as a sweatdrop appeared at the back of Naruto's head.

xxx

Sasuke slipped quietly through the shadows, eager to pack his things and leave on the training trip with Kakashi. He would probably be faster if he just walked through the streets... but then there would be the chance he would run into Sakura or Ino. No, it would be best to take the slower route and not be seen.

"... and then train a few ninjutsu. What do you think of that as a training plan, brat?"

Sasuke paused, then slipped up a wall to where the unfamiliar voice had come from. On top of the building, he leaned against a wall and withdrew a mirror to peer around the corner. It revealed a white-haired man he'd never seen before... and Naruto?

"I think you can throw most of it directly out the window, you perverted old toad."

Sasuke blinked as the old man gaped. Naruto was... turning down training?

"Wh.. Wha..?"

"Like I said yesterday, I have my own methods of training. Everything except the Ninjutsu and possibly the Genjutsu techniques is irrelevant to me."

Sasuke frowned at that. Naruto had been training? During team training, all he would do was run up and down trees, or occasionally shakily stand on small bodies of water. What could he possibly... it hit him like a sledgehammer. The Kage Bunshin... Naruto's favorite technique. That sneaky bastard would wait till they were distracted, then leave a clone in his place and go off to do his own training.

It was impressively well thought out, for the dead-last of the academy. And it pissed him off that he hadn't noticed before... maybe it had something to do with that strange red energy he'd used in the forest of death... that pissed him off too, that Kakashi would lecture him and restrain him from using the 'evil' power the cursed seal had given him, and yet seemed both excited and pleased when he learned of Naruto's concious use of the red chakra... if what he'd used was 'evil', then there was no way that whatever Naruto had used wasn't. He considered that for a moment, ignoring the way that Naruto and the old man's conversation had turned into a shouting match, he insisting that Naruto should follow _his_ training to the letter, and Naruto telling him to... go fuck a toad? Whatever.

Actually, that red energy interested Sasuke. Even with the boost from the cursed seal... he couldn't tell which of them would be more powerful. And he'd claimed that he'd had that power all along, and only 'unsealed' it in order to face Orochimaru... did that mean he could call it up at any time now? The seal on his neck throbbed a bit at that thought, reminding him of the power it represented, locked away by his own sensei. He scowled. Konoha was deliberately holding him back, keeping him from gaining enough power to kill _him_.

He broke from his thoughts and returned to spying on the two.

"Alright brat... I'm still not convinced that your 'special', 'private' training is as good as you say it is, but for now I'll just take your word for it. However, I will take your word for it for now... but I'll be testing you every so often, so don't slack off. I, Jiraiya, of the..."

"Yadda yadda yadda. I get it. Just so long as you come through with the jutsu, Sukebe."

The old man, Jiraiya, snorted and left. Naruto turned to leave as well, but paused, sniffed at the air, and grinned.

"A fly on the wall? Come out."

Sasuke froze. He'd been detected?

"Don't make me say it again..."

Sasuke considered the merits of stepping into view. On the one hand, it meant admitting that the dead-last had detected him. On the other, Naruto's voice had just gone really scary. He spent so much time pondering the matter that he almost missed what happened next, as a blob of white wearing a green jacket faded into view. If he didn't know better... he'd say it was a ghost...

"Ah. You're one of the new ones. Why are you here?"

Sasuke blinked in shock. Apparently, Naruto recognized the... thing.

"Prinny-sama requested I watch out for... urk!"

Sasuke blinked again, and his eyes widened. Naruto's stupid cape had stretched out and latched around the ghost thing and slammed it into the ground. His eyes narrowed... so there was a reason for the cape after all... how the hell had he done that? It reminded him of what he'd heard about that freak from Suna, Gaara.

"You go back and tell him that what I do on my own time is none of his business. And be thankful I'm not in the mood to kill you to make my point."

The ghost floated shakily away, fading as it went, and Naruto left in a different direction. Sasuke sat down and began brooding for a moment, wondering just who this mysterious 'Prinny-sama' was, but got the nagging feeling he was forgetting something. Forgetting... something... SHIT! He was late, they were supposed to have left on his training trip a whole ten minutes ago! He panicked and completely forgot about the strange scene in his haste to get to his house (Ancestral Mansion) and get packed to leave.

xxx

Orochimaru looked into the mirror and felt his face wrench itself into something somehow approximating both a smirk and a scowl. He was still covered in all sorts of bandages, and it hurt to walk, talk, move in any way, or breathe. The Kyuubi brat had done this to him, injured more than anyone else had in decades.

He wanted him _so_ badly. Sasuke? Who was Sasuke?

He grunted in soft pain as he fell back onto the cot and began thinking. After a long consideration, he had finally admitted to himself that he probably couldn't take over Naruto's body, even with the Kyuubi gone. He was simply too powerful... the jutsu wasn't cabable of letting him take over the bodies of those more powerful than himself. If so, he would have simply kept attempting to get Itachi's body, with his more advanced Sharingan.

As such, it would be wiser to simply add him to his elite. Kimimaro was going to die soon... he had to be replaced. He'd been planning on using Sasuke to fill that role... he couldn't quite remember why. Oh, right... the Sharingan. Although the Sharingan was why he wanted Sasuke's body, and so he would only be leader of the Sound five for a week or so... or a short three years if he missed the switch date. No reason to let them get accustomed to following the commands of someone who wouldn't be around for long, when he could have them under someone more capable, who he wouldn't be using as a shell.

Now that he had the whats and whys down, he needed to start working on the hows. How would he convince Naruto to join him? The curse mark was a viable option, with the slight brainwashing element involved in its early stages... Then he recalled that he wasn't quite sure what the effects of the curse mark would be on him now that he wasn't quite human anymore. He never considered that he was still completely human... the power he'd been using was decidedly demonic in nature, and with his claims of the Kyuubi being gone that left only one viable option.

So, no curse mark. Unfortunately, Orochimaru's wellspring of ideas ran dry right there. None of his typical modus operandi would work. Not if he wanted him to be loyal anyway. They only way it would possibly work was if he managed to save the boy's life or something and played the debt card... fat chance. Maybe if he'd been smart enough to take a look at the boy ten years or so ago, when he was still an impressionable kid... OROCHIMARU NO BAKA! He felt like slamming his head into the wall. The kid had been chosen as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki... with training, how could he have proven to be anything _but_ insanely powerful? And he'd probably missed dozens of potential chances to aquire that power! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

Orochimaru sighed as his thoughts led him to the one final way he could acquire the boy's power for his own, and it left a sour taste in his mouth. An alliance. A real one, not like the one he'd made with the stupid Kazekage. He gritted his teeth... he hated sharing power.

Even so, he began making plans. Kabuto would make a decent messenger, if only he could find out where the damn brat lived. He'd already sent him to his official place of residence, only to come up negative. The apartment had been empty for quite a while.

Where was he?

xxx

'He' was currently chowing on a bowl of instant ramen in the inn as he went over the Shunshin scroll. The damn thing just wouldn't work for him, and he was looking it over to see if he'd missed something. He didn't even notice the prinny step up behind him.

"Oh, I get it dood. There's a typo. You're supposed to visualize appearing at the end point _before_ moving your chakra, not after. Like kawarimi, only you're not replacing yourself with anything. Either whoever wrote this wasn't paying attention, or they had no real idea how to do the jutsu, dood."

Naruto froze, then slowly swiveled his stool around to stare into the sweating prinny's eyes.

"You couldn't have told me this before? And... how do you know that anyway?"

"Dooood... Well, you know how we prinny's are basically demon penguin stuffed animals with the soul of a sinner animating us, right dood? Well as it turns out... When I was alive, I was a fairly decent ninja. You've probably never heard of me though, dood."

"Hn... that does make sense. All right, we'll try it your way."

Naruto focused... and with a poof of smoke he was at the other side of the room. He blinked and tried it again... and again. He bounced around the room no less than a dozen times before placing himself back in his seat. The prinny had a huge sweatdrop on the back of its head. Even with correct instruction from his sensei, it had taken over a week for him to master that little trick. And he had been considered a genius.

"It actually worked. Neat. Now... time to meet the new people. Yours is the ghost I smashed around right?"

"Uh... Right, dood. His name's Ghast, just in case you wanted to know."

"I didn't really care. I make it a point to keep track of my minion's names. My minion's minions are another story. But continue... who else got a minion, and what were they?"

"Dood... Gecko got a Ronin, dood. And Mihoshi got a Thief. Then Slai picked up one of those flying eyeball thingys, but it seems to be more along the lines of a pet, dood. Oh, and, uh... Gecko's blue now, dood."

Naruto blinked at that.

"Blue? His scales changed color?"

"Oh yeah... he had a bunch of extra mana so he transmigrated to the next stage of his existence. He's a Fafnir now, not just a normal dragon, dood. And, uh... he got a little bigger."

Naruto felt a migraine coming on.

"Bigger? How much bigger?"

"Not much, just a couple of feet, dood. And he put on a little muscle mass too. So, uh..."

"So what you're saying is that he's just more than doubled his size last night... he was small to begin with. Great."

He sighed and looked down at the scroll.

"Oh, and dood... you got visitors."

He turned around to look, and poofed out of the way as a huge sword sliced his stool in half.

"I recognize that sword... and those bandages... and you're still wearing that stupid mask... ZABUZA! HAKU! Good to see you two again. Did you have fun in the Netherrealms?"

"Fun! Let me tell you, brat... being a prinny sucks. No offense."

"None taken, dood."

Outside the room, Laharl smirked as he turned and walked away. Naruto's minions were growing, in both numbers and power. Soon, it would be time to begin testing him for real. After this exam thing? No... still too soon. Give it another month after that.

In the end, Hinata was dissapointed. Naruto did buy her dinner, at a small place that Laharl had reccomended in hell, but he also brought Zabuza, Haku, and the rest of his minions along. Obviously, he hadn't realized that she'd been hoping for something a little more... personal. Though she couldn't really hold it against him.

No matter how frustrating it was.

xxx

The month had been long and hard for all the competitors, but now they stood ready in the exam stadiums. Most of them, anyway. Three noticeably stood missing. Sasuke, Naruto, and Dosu of the sound. Gaara smirked at that last... with two shattered legs, there was no way he could fight, so now the tournament had an even number of competitors. Sasuke was late because he was being held up with getting through the morass of quicksand she'd created outside his tent last night.

Naruto though... she frowned. She had done absolutely nothing to hold him up. He should be here by now.

Genma coughed to get their attention, opening his mouth, then paused as something strange happened. What seemed to be a pool of blackness had appeared on the ground, and was swiftly bubbling up. After a moment, he was pretty sure what it was, but still in disbelief. Fabric? Once it was all bubbled up above the ground and floating in a single ball, he was certain of it. But how?

The ball extended into a long oval shape and began rippling, making wrinkles in the fabric. Then it split down the middle and billowed out, slowing the fall of the one inside until he landed on the ground. He cocked his head to the side as he stared at the dumbstruck watchers.

"Am I... late?" He wondered aloud.

Genma forced his mouth closed and coughed again, grabbing the youth's attention to himself again.

"Ah, right. As Dosu of sound has withdrawn from the tournament, citing training injuries..." Gaara quietly snickered. "... The matchups have been changed slightly. In the first round will be Uchiha Sasuke versus Uzumaki Naruto. Second round is Hyuuga Hinata versus Sabaku no Gaara. Third round is Kankurou versus Aburame Shino. And fourth round is Temari versus Nara Shikimaru."

There were mutters, and several lords in the stands went to change their bets given the new matchup, but most of the actual participants seemed not to care. The only one who showed that he cared in any way about the switchup was Shikamaru, who glanced at the position of the sun and shrugged. The longer his match was put off, the longer the shadows became and the more likely it was he'd win. Although... he glanced at Naruto, whose cape was now behaving just like an ordinary cape.

Where had he learned something like that?

"... So if everyone will leave the arena except the competitors for the first match, we can begin... and Uchiha Sasuke will have forfeited the first match if he doesn't appear in five minutes."

xxx

In the stands, Hiashi was frowning as he looked down into the stadium. If Neji had been matched with Hinata in the prelims... then why was Hinata standing so cooly with the other competitors?

"Wheres Neji...?"

"Right here uncle."

Hiashi's head spun to watch as Neji lowered himself, with a light wince, into the chair to his left as Hanabi looked on curiously from his right.

"I... do not understand. I was informed that you had faced Hinata in the preliminaries."

"Indeed I did... and... she beat me. Not only that, but she thrashed me mercilessly and pinned me to a stone wall with a spear."

Hiashi couldn't hold back the tiniest wince, and Hanabi's eyebrows rose. The bloodthirsty little wench was impressed.

"Hinata? _Hinata?_ Hmmm... Perhaps I was wrong about her. Maybe she will be a decent heir after all."

Unnoticed, Hanabi paled. The only reason neither she nor her sister had been branded yet was because Hiashi hadn't decided which would make a better heir. She would always win in their spars, but it would be close, and obvious to everyone that Hinata wasn't giving it her all. If she suddenly showed herself to be a great deal more powerful than she used to be, and Hanabi had no doubts that she was, after all she had apparently beaten Neji, something Hanabi doubted she could do, then it wouldn't take long at all for their father to decide that she was the better heir and have the seal placed on Hanabi.

The idea of being demoted to a mere branch member... it gave her the shivers. She turned her eyes back down to the arena, praying desperately that Hinata would lose.

She had no idea what she'd do otherwise.

xxx

"The five minutes of leeway have nearly drawn to a close. If the Uchiha does not appear within ten seconds, he will have forfeited his match. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Ze-"

At the last possible moment, Kakashi and Sasuke appeared in the center of the arena, back to back.

"Are we late?" Kakashi asked, and Genma sighed. Trust him to put on a show... though Naruto's appearance had been far better, and he'd been in no danger of accidentally forfeiting the match.

"Actually... you're just in time. Barely. Even a second later, and Sasuke would have been disqualified."

Kakashi's eye widened imperceptively, the only indication that he hadn't realized just how close he was cutting it. Then he poofed out of the ring and to his seat.

"I see... In any case, ROUND ONE, UCHIHA SASUKE VERSUS UZUMAKI NARUTO BEGINS NOW!"

A large gong sounded somewhere, and the two turned as one towards each other, dropping into their stances. Sasuke assumed his clan stance, not bothering to activate his Sharingan, and Naruto merely crossed his arms as his mantle began to ripple, as though it was being blown in an unseen wind. Somehow, Sasuke failed to pick up on the fact there wasn't the slightest breeze to account for such a thing.

"Hn. You're not going to attack? Scared, Dobe?"

In the stands, one could easily pick up Sakura's cheering for Sasuke and boos for Naruto. Even Ino was slightly disturbed... a team was meant to be like a second family. If Sasuke was matched against one of her teammates, she didn't know if she could cheer for either of them. Apparently, Sakura had no such reservations.

"Hn... Well if you won't attack me... I'll just have to attack you!"

Sasuke lunged forward, fist leading, a straightforward attack that would seldom be used by any competent ninja because of how easy it was to dodge. He was confident that it would be enough... he'd already completely forgotten about the strange power Naruto had revealed in the forest, and had been trained personally by their sensei for a full month.

He was completely shocked when Naruto slid gracefully to the side and a scratch opened up along his ribs. He jumped away and glowered as he prodded the cut... it was just a flesh wound, and barely bleeding. But how had it happened? Naruto's arms were still crossed, and hadn't moved. He activated the Sharingan, and lunged again. This time he saw it in full detail, even if he couldn't do anything about it.

As Naruto slid to the side, the corner of his cape drifted up and dragged delicately across his thigh. Like before, he broke away with a lightly bleeding scratch. Sasuke considered it.

"Razors. You sewed razorblades into the hem of your stupid cape. That's actually kind of brilliant, coming from you."

Naruto shrugged.

"Close... but no cigar, Sasuke. Try again."

The mantle began billowing a little more obviously, and Sasuke's face went blank as he finally remembered the incident just before he'd left to train.

"I see... the cape is moving on its own. But how is that possible?"

"Normally it's not... but this cape is special. Do you know the chakra nature test? Where they take a piece of paper and have you pump just a little chakra into it to determine your elemental nature? The papers are made from the wood of trees that have had chakra channeled intensively through them for their entire lives. This cloak is... similar but different. I'm not sure exactly what it's made of, really... but channeling just a small portion of my power through it allows me to move it as I please... like an extra limb."

What he left unsaid was that it had nothing to do with what the mantle had been made from, and everything to do with the type of power he was using. Sasuke blinked, then grinned.

"All right then... I'll just have to beat you and take that fancy cape for myself then... and I'll be one step closer to my ambition."

"Oh? Do you really think you can, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's hands blurred into seals, stopping on Tora.

"Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!"

He exhaled a huge ball of fire, immolating Naruto at its very center. He hadn't even bothered to move. After a moment, the fire died down, revealing why. His mantle lost its rigidity as it dropped back to its billowing state from the protective shield it had formed. He grinned, and Sasuke tried again.

"Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!"

A full half dozen small balls of fire launched themselves at Naruto... and were easily deflected by the cape. Sasuke scowled.

"That's two strikes, Sasuke... In light of our being teammates, I'll give you one more before I start fighting back."

Sasuke grunted and leapt back. Hand to hand was out... that cape was sharp. His two main jutsu were useless... it would have to be that then. He made three quick seals, and Kakashi's one visible eye widened.

"NO SASUKE! THAT JUTSU ISN'T MEANT TO BE USED AGAINST FRIENDS!"

"And what the hell gave you the idea that the dobe and I were friends?"

The scream and its quiet counter echoed through the stadium as the crackling lightning around Sasuke's hand began chirping. Chidori... one thousand birds. An A-rank assassination justu. Sasuke grinned... there was no way the dead last could escape this. If he died, he died... and since he was the closest thing Sasuke had to a friend, he'd probably net the Mangekyou in the deal. Two birds with one stone!

"Take this! Naruto!"

Naruto's grin never faltered, even as Sasuke approached at dangerous speeds. A cloud of dust kicked up around them, shielding them from view. When it settled, Naruto hadn't moved a muscle, still grinning, still with his arms crossed over his chest.

His mantle had wrapped Sasuke tightly, locking him in place, and the Chidori had fizzled out with Sasuke's hand less than a centimeter away from Naruto's right eye.

"Well now Sasuke... I'd say that's strike three. My turn."

xxx

A.N. Whistles. This one nearly hit 50 KB Nice... And I know I chickened out on the date scene with Hinata, but I had to figure out a way to fit in Haku and Zabuza's entrance. Also, Naruto can't just pick a girl just yet... that would be no fun!

This wasn't exactly what I'd intended... but that's the problem when you write. Sometimes you're blocked and that sucks. Sometimes you set your fingers to the board and blank out and suddenly it's three hours later and you've typed an entire chapter but you have to read through it because you've got no idea what you've written and it's nothing like you've originally intended.

That can suck almost as much as having writers block, because for the next couple of chapters you have to _really_ work to get things back to what you'd originally intended.

Anyway, we'll see what happens next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Overlord

xxx

Warning... this chapter might get a little gory at some points. Those faint of heart and queasy of stomach might do well to note this.

xxx

Orochimaru, disguised as the Kazekage, was quietly drooling behind the mask. Such power... he had definitely increased in strength since their last battle. It actually made him feel slightly insecure, as he knew damned well that he, personally, hadn't been training quite as intensively as he used to.

He mentally slapped himself at the depressing thought. He would still win on an even battle because he had more experience and pure skill. He could intensify his personal training later.

He winced as Sasuke was swung around like a limp rag doll, slamming into trees, the walls, and the ground before being tossed into the air. The boy had no chance of winning against Naruto-kun.

He sent a pulse of specifically attuned chakra out. Sasuke-kun probably still wouldn't have a chance... but he needed to see how Naruto-kun would fare against a bearer of the cursed seal. After all, it would be foolish to make plots against him centering on his sealed servants, only to discover at the worst possible moment that Naruto had a way of dealing with them.

He never once considered the value of surprise in his calculations, assuming that Naruto had been told all about the cursed seal already.

As Sasuke flew through the air, he began clutching at his curse seal and screaming.

xxx

Naruto's eyes narrowed. He hadn't done anything yet that would leave the Uchiha brat in such pain. He hadn't even gotten around to breaking bones yet, and had only used enough force to smack him around a bit. In fact, he'd only intended to throw him so far out of the stadium that there was no way he could return before the ten count had finished. This, though...

He relaxed slightly when the purple chakra and spreading tattoos of black fire made themselves visible. So that was it... he couldn't beat Naruto normally, so he was drawing on the power he'd used in the forest.

Naruto grinned widely. This would be _much_ more fun.

As Sasuke rose to his feet and leered at him, Naruto reached to his throat and unclipped the tie for his mantle. Catching it before it fell, he tossed it away so it would be out of the way of the fight. Where it landed, the ground crumpled in a deep crater, and it spread out, showing the seals that Jiraiya had applied to the inside.

"Weight seals!"

"That's right, Sasuke. Did you really think I would have to go all out against you straight off the bat? I had a friend fill me in on Kakashi's training sessions this past month. You only did three things. First, you memorized Lee's Lotus style. Second, you worked on your speed. And third, Kakashi taught you his chidori. To put it bluntly... You are no match for me. I am stronger than you, faster than you, and smarter than you. At this rate... killing Itachi is just a pipe dream."

Sasuke snapped, howling in rage as crackling electricity formed around his hand. It slowly faded to the dark purple of the cursed seal's malevolent chakra, and the sound of chirping birds dissappeared.

xxx

"GO SASUKE! KILL HIM FOR OUR LOVE!"

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you, billboard brow? Your teammates are seriously trying to kill each other out there! Aren't you even slightly worried?"

"What's the problem? They warned us beforehand that the battles might end up turning into deathmatches. If Naruto-baka wanted to live, he should have just forfeited the second he was matched against my Sasuke-kun."

Ino scowled in disgust and walked back to her team as the bubblegum haired genin turned back to the arena, yelling encouragement to Sasuke and death threats to Naruto. Then she eeped and jerked back as both boys paused for a moment to launch a kunai at her. Unfortunately, it didn't dissuade her from her cheering for long... after all, it must have been an accident.

Other areas of the stands were more troubled by this turn of events.

"Hokage-sama, we must stop the match!" Kakashi begged. "With Sasuke's cursed seal acting up, he could end up doing something he would seriously regret afterwards!"

Sarutobi opened his mouth, but was cut off as one of the Kazekage interjected his opinion.

"I believe... it would be unfair to step in for these two. We are shinobi. Doing things that we may later come to regret is one of the most basic parts of our lifestyle, whether objectively, or under the influence of other sources. Blackmail, threats, or Genjutsu. Even if this cursed seal amplifies the young Uchiha's aggression to the point of a murderous, berserker rage... is it not possible that an enemy ninja could spice his food with a drug to induce the same effect? The purpose of this exam is to test the new genin's readiness to become Chunnin. Until they are ready to face such harsh realities of the world, they are not prepared to be Chunnin."

Sarutobi sighed.

"Much as I hate to admit it... Kazekage-sama brings up a valid point. And the Daimyo are watching. The match... will continue."

"But Hokage-sama! If pressed much further, Naruto might use..."

"The rule of the ninja is to use every tool at ones disposal. The only unfair advantage is the one the enemy possesses. The match will continue."

"... Hai, Hokage-sama."

A flash of red from the arena caught their attention.

xxx

This was FUN!

Naruto's grin was nearly wide enough to take the top of his head off as he darted around, glowing with red demon-energies, and making a fool out of Sasuke as he dodged every lunge and raking swipe of his hand.

Sadly, the dark haired genin had seemed to revert to an animalistic fury. His Sharingan was activated, but he didn't seem to be using it. Instead he was just swiping wildly and wild-eyed, drooling and chanting "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE" over and over. It was getting annoying though, so Naruto shut him up in the best way possible. Implanting the sole of his shoes directly with his face.

Sasuke's nose crunched audibly as he flew backwards and Sakura's scream of horror overwhelmed every other sound within a mile. Damn, but she had good lungs. She'd fit right in with that flock of Banshee-Harpy crossbreeds Laharl had told him about. Sasuke slowly sat up and one freaky, tattoo covered hand reached towards his nose and crunched it back into position. Then his eyes snapped back to Naruto, coldly enraged and metallic rather than the animalistic fury they had contained a moment ago.

"I will kill you, and gain the power that I need to kill _him_. But first... I need more from this seal. Only this... it isn't enough."

Naruto's eyes flashed in amusement as the seal spread further, completely covering Sasuke's skin with blackness.

Orochimaru, beneath his stoic Kazekage mask, was panicking. _That_ wasn't supposed to happen! The seal should by no rights be stable enough to progress to stage two already! This was impossible... and even worse, with the seal progressing to stage two outside of carefully regulated conditions, any mental hold it had implanted on the boy would be completely shot. In short, he would hold no loyalty to Orochimaru. He didn't seem like the most stable individual though, so things weren't _totally_ irredeemable, at the least. He just hoped Naruto-kun would decide not to hurt his new body _too_ badly.

Sasuke grinned as his Sharingan flashed and the whites of his eyes went black.

"You're special, Naruto. I understand that now. But I... I am more special than you."

Then his hair swelled out, growing at a ridiculously rapid pace, and turned white. His fingernails and teeth lengthened and sharpened. Then, with a muffled scream, two handlike wings sprouted out of his back and began flapping, flinging globs of gore and droplets of blood in every direction. The audience was screaming in horror at the scene, and Sakura had passed out from the image of 'her Sasuke-kun' taking the form of a demon.

Naruto laughed.

"This is GREAT! This will be so much fun... I won't have to hold back at all! Let me show you... my MONSTROUS TRANSFORMATION!"

Naruto's body bulged outwards, fur sprouting over every inch of his skin. The screams from the audience resumed as his face bulged outwards, forming into some amalgam of a human face and a foxes muzzle. His fingernails lengthened to a point, thickened, and turned black. He opened his mouth to reveal a maw of razor sharp, pointy teeth that would better befit a wolf. His legs were heavily affected by the change, stretching and twisting and bending until the bones broke and reformed in different positions. Then, as a finisher, a long fox tail sprouted from the seat of his pants.

**"Come, Sasuke... show me your power! We won't be interrupted this time... Hurry!"**

Sasuke snarled and took to the air.

xxx

"I TOLD you so, Hokage-sama! We should have stopped the match... now it's too late. I don't even know how Naruto has tapped deep enough into that power to transform like that... and Sasuke... they're both definitely out of their minds! They're going to kill each other!"

"Stand down Kakashi. Use of the curse seal and demon chakra have already been qualified as just one more weapon by the Daimyo. It's out of our hands now."

"But!"

"Stand down Kakashi! Only the proctor can interfere with these matches as long as the civilian audience is in no danger... and they left the second Naruto started sprouting fur. I can safely say that no matter how much damage the arena itself sustains, the civilians are in very little danger."

As if specifically to prove the old man wrong, Naruto chose just that moment to open his mouth wide and form a ball of energy between his jaws. After a moment it pulsed brightly and launched towards Sasuke, who barely dodged, and impacted against the top of one of the arena walls. The blast destroyed a circle a good dozen times the size of the foot wide sphere.

"On second thought, should one of those go awry, it's entirely possible that a civilian could be injured."

Nobody moved.

"Well Kakashi?"

"Er... I was sort of hoping you would just call the match a draw."

"Do you honestly believe they would just stop? If anyone wants to try to seperate them, then feel free to step right in."

Naruto managed to bite down on Sasuke's side, eliciting a screech as the other boy brought his claws down on Naruto's elongated ear, shredding it and forcing him to involuntarily let go as he screamed in rage. His tail whipped around, however, and swatted Sasuke into a wall.

Not one of the Jounin or ANBU budged so much as an inch towards them.

"Perhaps we could... wait until there is a clear victor?"

"An excellent idea, Kakashi."

xxx

"Why won't you die!?"

**"You have grown powerful with this new form, yes... but you are still unskilled in its use. It is not merely that I am more powerful than you, though that does play a part... it is that I have more experience with this form than you have with yours. You have struck me repeatedly with claw and fang, and I have only landed one bite on you thus far... but my wounds all heal in a matter of moments, while your wound lingers, slows you, and causes pain. Until you have learned the intricacies of your new body enough to force it to heal, you cannot win. Come, attack me again, in your futility."**

Sasuke positively seethed with rage. But he obliged and renewed the assault with a vigor. Naruto just grinned and would lazily strike back now and again, with immense power behind the blows, but for the most part would just let Sasuke hit him and smirk as they healed in minutes, occasionally aided by dim green light.

Eventually Sasuke came out of his frenzy, panting, and with a froth of sweat.

"I really can't win..." he muttered, apparently shocked to near stillness by the idea.

**"As I said... until you have more experience with this power, you cannot match me with it."**

There was just the slightest hint of a smug grin on the vulpine face.

Sasuke scowled, and suddenly shifted, hair shortening, eyes returning to normal, claws and wings retracting, and his odd skin tone separating into the tattoos, which swiftly withdrew to the main seal on his neck. A flash of red from the ring surrounding it was the only hint of the suppressor even attempting to do its job properly.

"... Consider your death postponed for now, dunce. But mark my words... you are the closest thing to a friend that I have. That is what will make your death so worthwile to me. Sooner or later, I _will_ kill you. Proctor! I forfeit this match."

Naruto was still grinning as the fur retracted into his skin and he returned, grotesquely, to normal as the stunned Genma called the match. After all, in the Netherrealms, buddies would always do their damndest to kill each other now and again. If only for entertainment.

xxx

"Ahem. Match two, Subaku no Gaara versus Hyuuga Hinata."

Gaara glared at the white eyed girl. Shukaku was silent on her, but... she didn't know why, but she bore the girl _extreme_ animosity. She wanted to wring all the blood out of her body like a sponge.

Now granted, this wasn't exactly a foreign desire for Gaara. However, in every other instance, the one who had incurred her wrath... well, they had actually done something to incur her wrath. Even if it was something as simple as look at her funny, or make irritating noises, or snore, loudly, as if taunting her with the fact that she, herself, could not sleep. Her siblings were trainable. They had learned swiftly to avoid these offenses and many more.

The Hyuuga, on the other hand, had not yet done anything to require her demise. So typically, Gaara would have only crushed her a little and made her forfeit the match. She didn't really understand why she wanted her dead so much. Then she recalled the Hyuuga's match against her cousin.

OH. Oh... She wasn't sure how to react now. At least she knew why she didn't like the Hyuuga girl, but it seemed that Naruto had at least some interest in her, and she was strangely averse to displeasing him. Now she was torn. To kill, or not to kill? Maybe just a little maiming? Or should she restrict it to a few scarring wounds? So many choices...

"Fight!"

A really, really huge axe formed in Hinata's hands as she rushed forward.

xxx

Hiashi stared, dumbfounded. Was that his daughter? The madwoman down there, snarling and doing her best to cleave her opponents skull? Had she abandoned the family styles so easily? No... no, he could see Jyuuken in her every movement. But forced through a weapon. He'd never seen the like.

Against an enemy with such a powerful defense, shifting the subtle Jyuuken into an overwhelming offense seemed the correct and logical thing to do... but as a father, he was horrified to see what had become of his daughter. The madness of the previous match was nothing in comparison.

That small part of him was easily boxed away by the parts of him that were the Hyuuga Clan Head and the current Grandmaster of Jyuuken.

The Grandmaster was giddy with delight and horrified at the same time. Such a blatant shift of the basic Jyuuken, focusing the disabling chakra through a weapon instead of at the fingertips, as it had been done for centuries! And yet it was working so well, and proving the superiority of the Jyuuken to the villagers that had begun to drift back into the stadium once the explosions had stopped.

The Hyuuga clan Head was pleased with that as well... Hyuuga would be reinforced as the top clan of Konoha. And Hinata's new inventiveness and, dare he say it? _Ruthlessness_ were good qualities for a future clan head. Plans would have to be made. First he would arrange marriages for his daughters. Hinata with another prominent clan, perhaps the Uchiha boy, to return that offshoot of the clan to where they belonged. Hanabi with someone within the clan, as she would be recieving the branch member seal sometime soon. Perhaps Neji? They were slightly closer related than he would prefer, but in case Hinata turned out, horror of horrors, to be barren, the Hyuuga blood would be thicker with such a match and their child could be surreptitiously mislabeled as Hinata's own daughter. Of course, in the better scenario, Hinata would have one child and then return to her training as her sister raised it alongside her own. He would return to training Hinata personally, and leave Hanabi to whatever training Neji cared to give her. And he would instruct Hinata in her place as the next clan head. He should never have doubted her... she had just been a late bloomer, it seemed.

Next to him, his younger daughter was making her own plots and schemes.

How had Hinata gotten so strong? The last time they had met, a sparring match before Hinata had been allowed to be taken in a non-Hyuuga genin squad, Hanabi had easily crushed the older girl. With what she was watching happening in the arena, she would fear for her life if forced into a match with her. So how?

It couldn't have been instruction from her Jounin-sensei. While Yuuhi-san was exemplary in matters of Genjutsu, her ratings in other areas were actually below average. Hinata hadn't even been showing a hint of considering Genjutsu in this match, and Kurenai seemed just as suprised as the rest of the ninja at her sudden viciousness.

Then who? To learn to be so skilled with an axe... and a spear, if Neji's tale held true... in so little time would require a truly skilled teacher...

Hanabi's eyes snapped to the side as she sensed a flare of _something_. There was a woman leaning against the outer wall, completely unnoticed by the crowds of ninja, whose eyes were locked on the show in the arena. An axe appeared in her hand, then dissappeared. She came to a conclusion.

"Excuse me father... I find it neccessary to..."

Hiashi blinked. He probably should have expected this from a ten year old girl, though, the paternal portion of his mind niggled at him.

"You didn't before we left the compound? Need Neji accompany you?"

"I think it unneccessary."

He nodded.

"Do hurry back though... you might miss something important."

She rose and walked away, heading for one of the VIP restrooms. The redheaded woman followed slowly behind, and entered only a moment behind her.

"... So. Who are you?"

"Questions already, little girl? And I'd have though you'd first ask about your sister."

"Why? It's obvious that you taught her what she's doing out there. So I want to know who you are. And... If you will agree to teach me as well."

The woman let out a large bark of laughter, revealing uncommonly large and sharp canines. Her ears were pointy. Hanabi wondered why she had missed that before.

"I like you, kid! Name's Etna. Unfortunately... I don't have the time, or the patience to take on a second student. Pity. But... yes, I think that would be interesting. Do you know the section of Konoha outskirts that has nothing but training grounds? The one with the small forest? In the center, you'll find an inn. If you _really_ want to be trained the way your sister was... ask one of the door guardians about me. They'll be pleased to let you in."

Hanabi frowned as Etna left the restroom. An inn in the training ground sector? She'd never heard of such a place.

Nevertheless...

xxx

"Forfeit!"

Hinata growled at the demand from her opponent. Even so, she didn't see much of a choice. There wasn't much more she could do without revealing things in front of the crowd that she would rather be kept private. Like her wings, or the demon magic she'd learned. The techniques could be passed of as Taijutsu and Ninjutsu tricks, mostly, but she wasn't as prepared to throw caution to the wind and flaunt all of her power in front of the humans as Naruto was.

She dodged another cascade of sand, lopping off a few creeping tendrils with her axe. Not that it did much good. The severed tendrils worked just as well without being attached to the main mass of sand. In frustration, she decided to switch weapons. Her axe flashed for a moment, causing the watchers to turn their gaze away, and when they looked back her demon spear was in hand.

This was more like it. The axe might do more damage, but it was spread out in more of a crushing attack. That damn sand could handle that easily. The spear however... it might not hit _quite_ as hard, but it focused everything on a single point when it hit. The sand would have a great deal more trouble guarding against such an attack, as proven when a thrust pierced the sand and narrowly missed Gaara's face.

The battle intensified, with Hinata dodging and weaving about Gaara's sand and occasionally attacking when the opportunity presented itself. Every time, it was a little bit closer to Gaara.

She snarled and slammed her hands against the floor... causing a ripple as the ground turned into sand? Hinata's eyes widened. When had Gaara had the chance to pull off the handseals for a jutsu like _that_? Then the sand began bulging upwards and there wasn't enough time left to think. She leapt as high as she could, driving her spear into the wall as she crouched down on it to consider.

Technically, there was still a large chance that Hinata could win this fight... but that would mean revealing the full extent of her changes and attacking from the air. She wasn't ready to do that just yet, no matter how confident Naruto was on the matter. But trying to attack from the ground now... her chances of victory from that angle had just dropped to next to nothing. Gaara's control of the sand was absolute, with the exception of the patch that defended him on its own. _That_ bit would move even faster and solidify swifter than Gaara could make it.

"Well... well shit. Proctor. I forfeit."

"Uh... Okay... Victor, Sabaku no Gaara."

Gaara and Hiashi both frowned at that. Gaara had been hoping the fight would continue longer... she hadn't even been able to mark her opponent. Hiashi was just displeased that she'd given up, although he could see that there was no way she could win at this point. Oh well.

"Next match is... Kankurou of Suna versus Aburame Shino."

xxx

"You didn't kill him."

"He'd already surrendered... the Proctor would have been forced to interfere if I went after him after that, and that would have drawn in all the Jounin watching... It would have been fun, but now's not the time, right?"

"Heh... fair enough. I've recieved word that Sound and Sand are planning to invade Konoha. You can wait to show of your bloodlust until then. Kill at least a hundred... that's a nice, round number."

"A hundred?"

Naruto grinned.

"Laharl-sama, even a _thousand_ wouldn't be enough to stop me."

"Don't brag, or I might hold you to that."

Laharl grinned and left the room. He'd brought his message and given the kid his chore. Now... time for a nap.

xxx

The match was fairly even. Too even. Shino got Kankurou with his Kikaichu, but before he collapsed from lack of chakra, he managed to make Karasu launch a poison gas grenade. Shino's mistake was not holding his breath fast enough... he wouldn't die from the tiny wisp he'd inhaled, but it was more than enough to knock him out for a few hours.

"Match is a draw, both contestants are disqualified. Next match... Temari of Suna versus Nara Shikamaru."

xxx

"What are you talking about?"

Sakura had completely repressed the last images she'd seen before passing out.

"My Sasuke-kun, become a monster? You're out of your mind, Pig. Naruto now... that idiot I could see turning himself into something horrible, either out of stupidity, or in an attempt to catch up to Sasuke-kun."

"What the hell is wrong with you? I just told you, they both turned into monsters during their fight, until Naruto overpowered Sasuke-"

"Bullshit. No way that idiot could beat my Sasuke-kun. I bet he just forfeited to make the loser feel a little better about his worthless self. Yeah... that's right." Sakura's eyes took on a dreamy tone. "And any moment now he'll come up those stairs and he'll look at me like so, and I'll smile sweetly back, and we will kiss, and go get married immediately, and start reviving his clan, and there will be twelve children, six boys and six girls, and..."

Ino scowled with disgust. Sakura had drifted off into a daydream and apparently didn't even realize that she was still talking... and drooling, as she detailed what the 'wedding night' would be like. She scowled deeper when she realized that there was no suggestion of either of the 'couple' going out as ninja involved in the dream, as though she really though someone like Sasuke would just settle down once she caught him.

And _this_ was the brat that had fought her to a dual knockout? That... that didn't say much for her own skill. She turned back to the stadium, where her teammate had just led the fan-user from suna into a trap and... forfeited, upon catching her.

A shrill shriek of rage caused everyone in the crowd to wince. Coincidentally, this meant that they missed the white feathers beginning to drift down from the ceiling.

The stadium audience began dropping like flies, drifting off into slumber. A slumber not even slightly ruffled by the huge explosions at the walls.

xxx

There were screams. Not every villager had chosen to go to watch the tournament, just most of them. And the combined forces of Suna and Sound were happy to begin their invasion by slaughtering the helpless civilians to get their blood pumping before moving on to battle with the well trained shinobi guarding the arena and academy.

Shukaku was howling for blood.

It took every ounce of control the redhead had available to ignore him long enough to throw a protective shell of sand around her siblings before turning to Baki, who was matching himself against the chuunin proctor.

He was caught completely off guard by the sand at his feet flowing up his legs to encase him up to the neck. He turned his head in shock to his student.

"G... Gaara? Why?... Traitor!"

Gaara slowly withdrew the forehead protecter she'd never worn from her shirt and dropped it to the ground, pressing it into the sand with a foot.

"I have my reasons. Goodbye, sensei."

Baki didn't even have the time to scream as the sand crushed him. In his death throes, his hand opened, sending his sword spinning through the air to come to a rest next to Gaara's feet. She hefted it experimentally. Normally, she wouldn't even look twice at a sword, but for some reason this one felt _right_ in her hand.

The sand shuddered and lifted off the ground, carrying her with it as she turned her gaze to scan the village. If she knew Orochimaru's plans right... there. A transparent purple cube of energy on the roof of that building. That's where he was.

The cloud of sand drifted swiftly in that direction.

xxx

Meanwhile...

"Whoo-hoo!" Hinata yelled, hefting her axe high. "Fun Time! I. Will. _Kill_! Every last one of you losers! Line up and die!"

Her teammates and teacher held themselves back and stared as the shy, demure little girl they knew so well disappeared and was replaced with a psychotic maniac that bore only a coincidental physical resemblance to her.

She'd just torn through a dozen invading shinobi, and was moving on to her next batch. Kurenai wasn't sure whether to be pleased or horrified about that. Hiashi, however, watching from the roof with a tub of popcorn he'd 'liberated' from a sleeping vendor had tears of unmitigated joy streaming down his face as the slaughter progressed.

xxx

Naruto...

**"...Twenty six... twenty seven... twenty eight and nine..."**

... was transformed fully and working at getting to the mark Laharl had chosen. He'd be at it for a while. Let's go look at something more interesting and come back later... like the siege of the Inn.

There were two units of a dozen men each. One from sand, the other from sound. They were dispatched here only out of curiosity from their commanders, really. They'd been given a detailed map of Konoha to study before the assault... and this place wasn't on it. Just a blob of dark green representing the forest around it. And given how old it looked, it had to have been there for a long time.

A little detour to satisfy their curiosity wouldn't take long, would it?

Both teams split up, a half dozen Suna-nin going to the front and rear of the building, while equal numbers of Oto-nin positioned themselves at the flanks. As one, they infiltrated through windows and the front door.

This last would prove to be a mistake.

At the last possible minute, the door-guardians' eyes snapped open and they lunged at the rearmost two of the group, catching them completely off guard and knocking them to the ground. The remaining four spun in shock, but were only able to get a brief glimpse of blood spraying through the air as the guardians rent and tore at their prey before the doors slammed shut with an ominous thud followed by a series of clicks. Hidden locks. One stalwart soul tried the inner door, only to find it locked as well.

The puppets in the corners creakily rose to their feet, revealing blades that extended from their joints and seeming to exhale wisps of poisonous gases. It was a good thing that the finish of the wooden floor and walls of this room were so very dark... it would go quite a long way to concealing the bloodstains.

Of course, it wasn't like the other three groups were doing much better. One of the two Oto-groups had made the mistake of entering through the window to Laharl's personal bedroom and interrupted his nap. He sat up, blasted the lot of them with enough energy that there wasn't enough of them left to drift down and stain the carpet, then flopped back down into his bed and resumed slumber.

The other group of oto-nin ended up in the training room, where they were quickly caught, tied up, hung from hooks on the ceiling by their ankles, and used as targets by Flonne, who was instructing their newest arrival in the use of a bow.

The final group, the remaining six Suna-nin, came in through a window in the rear and the first couple landed with a splash in the swimming pool. The rest heard it and were fast enough to focus their chakra before they landed gently on the water. Just because water was a precious commodity in the desert didn't mean they weren't taught that trick... they could always end up sent outside the bounds of Suna, after all.

They were halfway through the room before they noticed something odd... the first two had never come up for air. At just that moment, something dragged a third ninja under the water, and the remaining three leapt to cling to the ceiling.

There was something in the pool. Something slimy and translucent, and it could barely be seen against the orange tiled bottom, but it was holding three ninja down at the bottom. Two were horrifyingly still, and the last was struggling wildly... although his struggles were slowly ceasing and soon came to a final end. The thing dragged the corpses along the bottom toward a central point, and pulled them into itself. Then part of it bulged upwards and shaped itself into a reasonable fascimile of a human female... if one could be sculpted out of jello. It grinned widely, as though mocking them.

Two of the shinobi immediately began hurling kunai and shuriken at it, interspersed with the third's launching of a couple wind element jutsu. The jutsu seemed to inconvienience it somewhat. The weapons... not so much. They just passed through the thing like water. Encouraged, the jutsu user started up a more powerful technique... and was snagged off the ceiling midway through his set of seals when the creatures false arms extended monstrously. He thrashed, but was pulled off the ceiling and slowly drawn within the creatures gelatinous mass. The remaining two suna-nin broke for it and darted for the door, seperating directions as they entered the corridor past it, reasoning that if the thing chased one of them, that would give the other more time to escape. Each, of course, intended to be 'the other'.

Slai was perfectly content to let them go as she settled back beneath the water level and her prey's struggles slowed and ceased. It wasn't like they would get far... after all, this was the heart of the minion's wing. Someone or thing would be more than happy to end the lives of the intruders. She relaxed herself into a formless blob with that thought, alongside a duet of horrified screams, proving her right, and tried to get back to sleep. She needed to digest her unexpected meal, after all.

xxx

Enma's arm shot out, but he knew it was too late. The Sandaime's plan had failed, as both of his Kage Bunshin had been put out of the fight the second he'd summoned them with the timely application of shuriken to their skulls. They'd existed less than a second.

After all, Orochimaru knew full well that Sarutobi knew the soul-sealing technique the Yondaime had used as well, and had no intention of letting the game end so early.

Just calling the two clones had dropped Sarutobi's chakra levels to a bare third of what they should be, and the risen corpses of the first two Hokage had swiftly worn the rest of it down before Orochimaru ordered them back. He wanted to finish the old man off himself, after all.

Enma's hand closed over the blade of the Kusanagi in a futile effort to prevent the inevitable, gaining a deep slash through to the bone of his palm as the tip continued inexorably forward towards Sarutobi's chest.

And came to a stop at a sudden breastplate of sand.

Three heads turned as a sphere formed of more of the same floated gently through the barrier. The purple flame turned the outer layer to glass, but once inside it crumbled to razor sharp dust as an inner platform of sand slowly lowered Gaara of the Desert to the ground. After a moment, the redhead spoke.

"I have deserted the village of my birth and request sanctuary and asylum within the walls of your village for both myself and my siblings, Hokage-sama of Konohagakure."

"Granted." The exhausted man wheezed out, calculating a drastically improved chance of his surviving this debacle. Orochimaru sneered and began to say something, but was distracted when a familiar furry figure leapt from the ground up to the edge of the rooftop with a loud thump and a slight cracking of tiles beneath him. For a moment, Naruto just stood there, then he began stalking forward, leaving more cracks in the tiles with every footstep.

He didn't stop at the barrier, but pushed calmly through it, and ignored the purple fire crackling over his body once inside. Not one person noticed the ring hidden under the fur of his fingers.

**"Ninety nine souls have taken their last breath at my hand today, Orochimaru. Perhaps **_**you**_** shall be the hundredth? I wonder."**

Orochimaru had internally broken out into a light sweat. He did _not_ like these odds. Individually, he was sure he could match, and beat, either Naruto or Gaara. At the same time? Doubtful. Also, he had to think in the long term, of his plans about Naruto-kun.

Distracted momentarily, he almost missed Gaara's launching of a volley of Suna Shuriken. Even so, he dodged almost one of them... but one got him in the hand. Were it a normal shuriken, that wouldn't be a problem, but it disintigrated after piercing and poured itself into the wound to cause more damage. It was proven an even more effective tactic than normal, as this particular patch of sand had been quite heavy on those tiny flecks of glass, and it severely ravaged his muscles and tendons before a quick flare of his own chakra rendered it quescient. With his good hand, he let loose a heavy duty smoke bomb and called out of the concealing haze.

"I don't _have_ to kill you, you know, Sarutobi-sensei. I'm patient... and if not immortal yet, the next best thing. Sooner or later, nature will do it for me. You're an old man. I'm sure I won't have to wait _that_ long to hear the news that you simply didn't wake up in the morning. KUKUKUKU!"

The mocking laughter drew to a close and the smoke began to dissipate as the barrier dropped... helped along by blasts of wind from the ANBU who'd been stuck outside and rushed in to the aid of the old man. Orochimaru was gone, as were the four that had set up the barrier for him. The risen Sho- and Nidaime, however, were still present, and were still prepared to fight.

"I'm getting too old for this crap." Sarutobi muttered, just loud enough to carry. Naruto grinned widely, the muzzle adding whole new dimensions to it.

**"Tanuki... pick whichever one you want. I'll take the other."**

Gaara didn't answer, but showed her choice by launching waves of sand at the Shodaime, easily slipping through the foliage that he pulled up in the attempt to stop it. Naruto didn't even blur... he was simply standing in one place one moment and another the next, and he'd moved so fast that the purple fire outlining his shape was still floating there for a moment before it winked out. His hand was deep in the Nidaime's chest and obviously gripping something painful as he tossed him high up in the air and opened his mouth to its full extent. A familiar sphere of energy was forming between those jaws and launched with a flash to strike the Nidaime at the apex of his arc, blasting him into a gory shower. The Shodaime had been crushed down to about the size of a deck of cards only a moment before.

The ANBU would have sworn under their breath, were they not so horrifyingly impressed with the two's brutal efficiency. Sarutobi had no such restraints, and was muttering up a dark storm.

**"Does that count though?"** Naruto wondered aloud.** "He was, after all, dead already. Hmph. No matter. Later, Old Man... there's all sorts of people just waiting for me to come kill them, and it wouldn't be polite to leave them in suspense..."**

He hopped off the edge of the roof and after a moment there was a thump of his landing, followed by a far-off scream from the base of the tower. After a moment, several body parts flew up into the air, leaking trails of blood in their flight. The hand and knee fell back to the ground, but the head, still with an expression of surprised horror on its fase and wearing a forehead protector with a musical note ingraved on it, bumped onto the roof and rolled to a stop at Gaara's feet. After a moment spent contemplating it, she angled Baki's sword down and nudged it to the side enough to set the thing rolling back toward the edge of the roof.

xxx

With Orochimaru gone, but not having called the retreat, there was a great deal of bloodshed before the battle had died down. The streets were tinted red with the blood of the invaders. Of course, that wasn't to say that Konoha hadn't taken its share of losses as well. No, the hospital was quite full, and would be for some time, with the many wounded, or dying, faceless yet loyal Konoha-nin. Understandably, lesser injuries would be put on hold during this time to deal with the greater ones. Also, injuries to genin would be put off in dealing with injuries to the more valuable chuunin... which would in turn be put off in favor of the Jounin, and so on.

In those terms, it was fortunate indeed that the rookie genin managed to get through the assault with, at most, minor wounds. Others were not so lucky.

For an example, Iruka, who had without thought taken a barrage of kunai for one of the students he was helping to lead to safety. After the attack, he'd been placed in intensive care, and managed to hold on for several hours despite having most of his vital organs punctured repeatedly. However, his strength eventually gave out, and he quietly passed on in those bloodstained sheets, joined by more than a few others.

The ceremony was a quiet affair. Iruka's corpse was cremated, as was standard for ninja, and the ashes were scattered on the ground around the memorial rock as his name was carefully chiseled in, watched solemnly by Iruka's handful of adult friends and a large horde of unusually silent students. The rookie's were the first to leave after paying their respects, aside from Naruto, who hadn't moved. The students were the next to leave, hustled quietly away by their respective teachers and parents, one little girl, the one Iruka had taken the barrage for, having tears streaming unabashedly down her cheeks. Then the few adults stepped forward to pay their respects, pouring a splash of sake over the stone, or dropping a rose before leaving.

And still, Naruto hadn't moved. Even as the sun set and the wind picked up, and lightning crackled overhead with quiet booms of thunder as the rain began to fall.

The next morning, Kakashi would find him still there, asleep and cold and wet.

xxx

"Orochimaru-sama... I'm afraid that I have bad news. Your hand is far more damaged than we originally suspected. Every muscle and tendon is shredded almost to worthlessness... and frankly, we were quite lucky to be able to extract all the flecks of glass without causing more damage in the process. You'll be limited to what jutsu you can use with just one hand for the time being, until we can find a way to fix this. If we can find a way to fix this."

"Ah, Kabuto-kun... ever the pessimist. Not to worry... I have a plan."

xxx

A.N.

Aaand that's a wrap. And it only took... (checks calendar and winces)... _far_ too long to get this chapter finished.

Anyway, Sasuke's progressing to second stage cursed seal so early throws a definite monkey wrench into Orochimaru's plans. Always a good thing.


	10. Chapter 10

Overlord

xxx

Kiba took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He _really_ didn't want to do this. His mother was a fierce woman best left to her own devices at the best of times and, with the family coffeemaker having been destroyed in the recent invasion and not yet having been replaced, she'd become an evil, mean, spiteful Bitch. With a capital 'B'.

Still, this question had been burning at him for some time and now, with her midway through her second cup of 'that cheap imitation instant crap', there was probably no better time to ask.

"Mom..." He tentatively began. "Is there... any possibility... any possibility at all... that Uzumaki could be related to us, somehow?"

His timing was a little off. Tsume had just taken a large mouthful of fake-coffee, which she now spewed through the air like a dark brown firehose. She started to snarl something caustic before closing her mouth with a snap. No matter _how_ nasty she was feeling at the time, she was also brutally honest and... she really didn't know. There had been a _lot_ more Inuzuka before the Kyuubi attack, which had pared down almost all of the clans to a pale vestige of their former glory. A few of them had been expecting kids, and nobody _really_ knew exactly where the kid the Yondaime had used in his little ritual had come from.

Sure there were a lot of rumors.. but there were also a lot of dead and missing kids in the wake of the attack, as the main hospital had been hit at one point. And without a reliable way to check a person's genealogy, as no such jutsu had been invented, there was really no way of knowing, for the Uzumaki or any of the other nameless orphans. She countered with her own question instead of answering.

"What makes you ask?"

"It was just... uh..." Kiba paused and scratched at the back of his head sheepishly. "It's nothing really, just... that thing in the invasion, when he transformed? It... kinda reminded me of some of the higher level techniques of Inuzuka Beast Mimicry."

There was a long, drawn out silence as both Tsume and Kuromaru considered that. Now that it was mentioned aloud, there _were_ some glaring similarities. Again, it was highly possible that an Inuzuka, without a partner to aid in the mimicry techniques, but having some knowledge about them, _might_ be able to cobble together something that would look similar to what Naruto had done. A tiny seed of doubt had entered the matriarch's mind.

"Well..." Kuromaru growled. "If it's any help, he doesn't _smell_ like an Inuzuka..."

"I sense a 'but' coming on." Tsume said, taking another swig from her cooling mug. It was her favorite one, proclaiming her in big, blocky letters to be QUEEN Bitch.

"Yes... But if, for instance, Kiba had been orphaned and raised elsewhere, outside of the Inuzuka compound and without being matched with Akamaru... I doubt that he would smell much like an Inuzuka either."

Kiba held himself back as the conversation between his mother and her partner dropped into mutters and soft whuffs and growls, somehow getting the feeling that he'd just opened a can of worms.

xxx

Meanwhile, Kakashi was having his own problems. He'd debated for a moment whether to show Naruto something new that day, as a sort of reward for delving deeper into the powers of his demonic inhabitant, but when he found him his appearance had put that thought on hold. He'd looked like a half-drowned, bedraggled alley cat on its last legs that he'd seen once hanging around the dumpster of a bar.

He'd sent him off to rest. No point training him if he wouldn't be aware enough to take in what he was saying, and was likely to fall back to sleep at any moment. He'd just focus on his other two students.

Except that Sasuke had never shown. It seemed he was still sulking about losing to Naruto in the Chuunin exam. That didn't stop the elders from blackmailing the Sandaime and bribing the visiting lords to nominate him for promotion. Or to use that same considerable sway to have Naruto himself removed from the list of hopefuls. Not that it mattered to Kakashi... Genin and Chuunin were just titles, and unimportant. Sasuke had access to a small section of the restricted sections of the library, which he would probably never bother to enter, and Naruto was still firmly under his thumb and, denied everything Kakashi could and still honestly call himself his teacher, would delve further still into the demons power. His hatred would make him strong, and then his strength would serve Konoha well.

Then, after he'd dismissed Sakura to do whatever it was that she did all day when she wasn't worshipping Sasuke, two ANBU had dropped in to 'escort' him to the Hokage's office. Sarutobi was... less than pleased with him. And carefully explained why, in detail. It seemed that the one thing Kakashi had not planned for was how others would react when they learned of his plans.

Oh, he pled his case, of course. Said that he'd had every intention of teaching Naruto jutsu along with Sasuke, and finding a form of Taijutsu that would suit him, but that he really needed to get his abominable chakra control up to speed first, or it would be pointless. Was it his fault, he asked, that Naruto had apparently grown bored with the tedious practice and sought an easier source of power? Naruto should be grateful that Kakashi had been assigned as his sensei, because he truly doubted that anyone else would bother to attempt to teach him anything.

Somehow Kakashi, lauded for noticing and commiting to memory even the smallest of details at a glance, missed the way that Sarutobi's face grew darker and darker as he argued his position, and how several wide-eyed and shocked Jounin-sensei had gathered to listen at the door, left open a crack by one of the careless gofers and nullifying the soundproofing on the office.

"Enough!" Sarutobi erupted loudly, then broke off in a coughing fit. Though he'd survived, the battle had been hard on his old body, and its protests hadn't yet died down.

"Enough, Kakashi." He continued in a softer, but no less angered tone. "I wasn't born yesterday. And... I have an informant."

He waved his hand and the door to the inner room, typically ignored as it was just a spare room for the Hokage and nobody would go in there without his express permission, swung open to reveal... a smirking Sasuke, wearing an unfastened Chuunin vest.

"I was wondering where the power he was using came from. Kyuubi... huh. Well, that's a good thing to know about my best friend."

Nobody had been close enough to the battle in the arena to hear the conversation he and Naruto had held, or both Sarutobi and Kakashi would have heard the malicious overtones on the last two words.

"In any case Kakashi, you not only avoided training Naruto, but you actively sabotaged his development, _ensuring_ that he would eventually be forced to turn to the demon for aid, if only as a last resort. Then to compound this, when you _did_ show him first stage water walking it was immediately after he'd used that power to slaughter a roomful of people and you _knew_ that he would be mentally fragile at that point, _and_ that the training, after a long absence of any, would be subconsciously taken as a reward for using the Kyuubi's power to kill."

Sarutobi took a deep drag from his pipe before continuing.

"In short, Kakashi, I'm holding you completely and totally responsible for putting Naruto in such a situation. You're fortunate indeed that you are too valuable to the village as it is now for me to just hand you over to Ibiki, to do with as he pleases. Still, what's done is done. And I think I have a better punishment in mind. You claim that nobody else would teach Naruto as well as you do? Fine, I'll take him off your hands... another has already asked about his training. I'll be taking Sasuke off your hands too... as there's not much else that you and only you can teach him, either about the Sharingan or your original technique. You will, however, still be training Sakura, and training her well. I'll be keeping an eye on how she progresses."

Today just kept getting better and better, Kakashi reflected sarcastically.

xxx

Slai didn't have vocal cords, as she was simply a gelatinous mass. Logic would say that meant she couldn't talk. Logic would, once again, be wrong. It had taken her a long time to learn how, but she'd learned to speak through a complicated method of drawing air into herself and then forcing it out of her mouth to talk. All this meant, however, was that if the mood hit her she could natter on and on about nothing at all for hours without once stopping to take a breath.

Thankfully, that was an infrequent occurence, as most of the other residents of the Inn were much more powerful than her, and didn't care for being irritated lightly. She'd already come very close to being killed... twice by Etna, and once by Laharl. Hn. They were demons, after all. And even Flonne could be pushed to the brink of her patience with a long enough 'chat'. The only one who could put up with her when she got that way was the Prinny.

And so, whenever Naruto badgered it into giving him hints about whatever pointlessly minor technique Jiraiya had given him most recently, in an effort to lure him into accepting his _full_ training, he would have to deal with Slai chattering in the background.

"I _still_ can't believe this crap. Shunshin, a couple elemental techniques, and now he's got me back on 'refining' the basic three."

"Basics are important, dood!"

"I know. 'The basics are what you build off of and, like any constructor knows, a stronger foundation builds a better house'. I've heard it a million times."

"Don't stop it from being true dood. And what they _don't_ teach you about them in your academy is what's most interesting about those basic techniques. They have a lot more applications than just the typical ones, dood. A little imagination goes a long way. And if you want to learn Genjutsu, you'll have to not just master, but _perfect_ the basics."

"So? Why bother with little illusions. They're pointless."

"You've never fought a real Master or Mistress of Illusion, have you? Your funeral, dood."

Naruto growled lightly, but bent back to work. He'd managed to figure out the trick to normal clones... he simply couldn't create any less than fifty at one time, and the less he created, the more flaws there were. He'd managed to reduce it to forty decent ones, but was still far away from Jiraiya's demanded twenty. Understandably, he was vexed when Hinata slammed the door open, destroying his concentration.

"What?" He snarled, slightly irritated that she was completely imperturbed by his rage.

"Hokage's making a speech in a few minutes. _All_ ninja are required to be there."

Naruto swore under his breath as he stood up from the scroll of little tricks and tweaks to the technique he'd been studying.

xxx

"You know," He muttered softly, later, "I actually think that the old monkey must have been in Interrogation at some point. He's been talking for almost half an hour now, and I know I'm just about ready to crack and spill my guts about anything he might be the slightest bit interested in, just to make him shut up."

"Hush, Naruto-kun. I think he's winding down to a close."

And so he was...

"_Pointless droning... Blah blah blah... etc..._ And in conclusion, I shall soon be stepping down from my post as Hokage due to constraints of old age. I have chosen my successor, who shall not be named for the moment, with the full approval of the council of elders. Once this person is ready, I shall step down, and they shall take up the post as Gondaime Hokage. I shall then retire, but remain on as an advisor of sorts to the _Pointless droning mark II._"

Naruto groaned in the backround as Sarutobi continued wrapping up his speech.

"That... that's great. He couldn't just have chopped it down to 'I've decided to retire. Let me just sit back and watch you scramble like a pack of hounds after a juicy bone in the hopes of getting my title.'?"

"That's a bit blunt, for a gathering of humans, don't you think? Put it like that, and you'll cause more problems than you solve, no matter how true the statement is."

Naruto choked down his bark of laughter to a quiet chuckle, in an effort to not draw attention to himself.

"I suppose you've got a point there. Still, we probably shouldn't-"

"Yo! That you, Naruto?" Someone interrupted. Naruto turned his head to... the dog guy. What was his... oh yeah.

"Kiba? You want something?"

He shoved an ornate envelope into Naruto's face, the Inuzuka clan seal stamped into the blob of wax holding it closed.

"I'm just here to deliver this. Don't ask me what's in it, cuz I don't know. I'm just the messenger boy."

Kiba shrugged and left, leaving Naruto to carefully tug the wax seal off and read the message inside.

"Uzumaki Naruto," He mumbled softly. "You are... cordially invited to dine this evening at the Inuzuka clan compound. No formal dress required."

He weighed the situation carefully. On the one hand, he couldn't possibly turn down an offer of free food. On the other hand, his cynical side was pointing out that this was obviously a trap and that he'd have to kill a whole lot of people to get out of it if he went.

So, pretty much a win-win situation. Either way, he won.

xxx

When people think about the Noble Clans of Konoha, the first to pop to mind are always, _always_ the Uchiha. Even with their numbers reduced to two, and effectively only the one that had remained in Konoha, the Uchiha had earned a reputation throughout the rest of the countries, as well as their own.

Immediately afterward would follow the traditionalistic Hyuuga who had a reputation very nearly equal to that of the Uchiha. However, those two were pretty much the limit of what people outside of Fire country would be able to recall.

_Inside_ the borders of Fire, most people would note the Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka clans as well. Albeit that the only one of the three to actually live in a compound rather than normal houses were the Akimichi... the Ino-Shika-Cho trios always worked well together. A few people might even think of the Aburame, if only in the terms of 'that creepy bug clan'. There were a few other clans in Konoha as well that were only rarely recalled.

Then there were the Inuzuka, who almost nobody would remember, or indeed, even believe were one of the Noble clans. They were as a rule loud, uncouth, irreverent, spontaneous, and pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone would expect of the Noble Clans. Even so, they still held the title, and lived in a compound, although a rather large chunk of it had been converted into a place for their dogs to sleep, and a vet area, and it was located near the forest rather than in the heart of town, so that they would have room to run.

It was an interesting place, Naruto decided, and impressively large despite him having grown used to living in a large building instead of a crummy one-room apartment. The supper was held in a big, empty feeling room, filled with more than a dozen empty tables. Naruto could easily imagine the place at the height of its glory, people filling every available seat and chattering wildly and merrily as they worked their way through a feast and their dogs dug into platters of meat on the floor. A much nicer way to think of the place than the sad comparison with how it was now, with only a few people scattered throughout the room and eating relatively quietly.

He was waved over to the largest table by Kiba, who seemed only moderately surprised to see him there, invitation in hand. Naruto had come to the conclusion that this couldn't possibly be a trap unless they thought they could take him with the few people and canines gathered there, or they had slipped poison into the food or something. If they had, they were in for a surprise... Laharl had moved him on to learning the basics of healing magic, which he'd showed barely any aptitude whatsoever in, only just enough to even be able to use it at all, but had persevered through anyway as he'd realized how incredibly useful it could be, and Espoir could cure any form of poisoning instantly.

He was quickly introduced to the younger woman sitting at the table, Kiba's sister Hana, and her three dogs, and then to the elder, Kiba's mother Tsume, and her partner Kuromaru, who seemed to be some sort of wolf hybrid with a patch over one eye. Naruto smiled congenially and introduced himself in return, carefully setting a gift on the table in the older traditions of one visiting anothers house. It was a moderate gift, a necklace, not too expensive or obviously powerful, or throbbing with demonic energies, but at the same time it wasn't the sort of bauble you could just pick up in some random vending machine.

It was all heavily calculated, of course. They were now under the correct impression that this was the first time he'd visited someone elses house as well as the _incorrect_ one that everything he knew about polite social contact and interaction came out of some musty old scroll, tempered with a very small amount of personal experience. He knew full well that the tradition of gift-bringing had gone out of favor only a few years into the Shodaime's rule. _They_ didn't know that he knew though. And that left him with a large amount of leeway.

Tsume tried to decline the gift. He calmly insisted that she keep it. The discussion was quickly shunted to the side, however, as the meal was brought in. It was a very meat-heavy meal, which was not at all unexpected, as the dogs were eating at the table as well. There was some quiet small talk over the meal, but not enough to disguise the fact that no matter who he was talking with, someone else would be scrutinizing him closely. The only one Naruto didn't make note of indulging in this habit was Kiba, although whether that was because he hid his curiosity better or because he was uninformed of something that even the dogs were well aware of, he couldn't say.

He decided to give them a little something to puzzle over and claimed a very rare, almost completely uncooked, slab of meat and carved it into little bite sized chunks before eating, careful not to leave a single spot of red on his hands or cheeks. There was a short glance shared between the eldest female and canine at the table at that point.

Other than that, the meal went well. Small talk ground to a near-halt during the meal itself, but picked back up again over dessert, a large, expensive looking pastry with crushed nuts sprinkled over it and a very light wine. Hana began a conversation about the dogs she was currently treating, and Naruto politically avoided making mention of the fact that he didn't like dogs very much at all, even as he asked appropriate sounding questions. A couple of jokes were made, surprisingly not by Naruto, but he laughed raucously alongside Kiba at the punchlines. A heated debate was sparked at one point about the difference between Instant and fresh-brewed coffee, which was somehow linked into a comparison with Instant cup ramen and Ichiraku's finest. Before he left, Kiba quietly suggested that if he _had_ to bring a gift next time, that he look into an espresso maker, which he described as 'like coffee, but better'.

The Inuzuka dispersed for the night, to their preferred resting places, as Naruto slowly walked back to the Inn.

xxx

"So, Kuromaru?"

The dog's ears twitched slightly as he yawned and stretched.

"I don't know where to start. He went for the raw meat, but ate in a far more polite manner than you've _ever_ coaxed Kiba into. He talked a lot, but said surprisingly little. He was definitely overacting when he portrayed emotion... he found my jokes funny, but not _that_ funny. Exactly how much was an exaggeration and how much was real though, I couldn't tell you. He smelled faintly of blood... that wasn't really unexpected, however. There's something odd about that necklace he left... nothing overtly dangerous, or ominous feeling, just odd. He was still wearing that cape, but I smelled metal hidden in it. He had a sword in a secret pocket... he came here prepared for a fight to break out. A deeply suspicious boy, despite his light-hearted demeanor. He had kunai stashed up his sleeves as well, and carefully lingered in small talk to wait for someone else to take the first bite of his meal, and even then he made handsigns under the table before swallowing his first bite. He's wary of poison. There's also his choice of seat to consider... he automatically selected the only one that both left his back to an empty wall and had one or more empty seats between himself and the rest of us. Then-"

"Yeah, I get it. Paranoid little shit, probably with good reason. But is he a paranoid little _Inuzuka_ shit?"

"... Can't say."

"Do we need to bring him back so you can observe him some more?"

"No, that won't be neccessary. The problem isn't lack of data... it's that that data is inconclusive. Simply put... maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I can't tell."

A long silence fell between the two, broken by Tsume.

"Y'know, I think I might remember a couple of blondes. Hell if I can place their names, or faces though. One might be... S... Shin... Shin- something. Pretty sure they died in either the Kyuubi attack or the Iwa war though. Are you sure that you can't tell if...?"

"I told you, I don't know. My advice however, is to treat him like the long-lost distant cousin raised outside of the clan that he might well be. Maybe invite him over again every now and then. Encourage him to make friends with Kiba maybe."

"Should I give him a puppy?" Tsume wondered aloud, followed almost immediately by a whine from Kuromaru.

"That... might be pushing things a little bit. There's a time to chase, and a time to sneak slowly up upon your prey from downwind. This is neither of those times. Besides, you're stressing over this too much. Cool down a little and think about it again tomorrow. It's not like he's going anywhere."

xxx

"Naruto, I've decided that it's time to leave Konoha."

Naruto blinked slowly. Then frowned.

"Wait... what happened to 'Learn the Ninja's techniques, Naruto!' then? I thought-"

"Don't think. That's my job. In any case, that perverted toad human has taught you nothing at all useful since that short range teleportation technique. He's become a waste of time. Besides, if you _must_ learn more, you have three ex-ninja as vassals. The prinny..."

"And Haku and Zabuza. I get it. Speaking of which, I haven't seen them around..."

"They've been running errands for me. Nothing for you to worry about. But in any case, now is a good time to leave... that old ninja who's taken an interest in you is off on a job for the monkey summoner, and has taken two sqads of the village ninja with him. The rest of them are busy with the rebuilding."

Naruto knocked back a glass of some sort of fruit juice and slammed the cup on the table.

"All right, I'll bite. Where are we going then."

"That's up to you to decide, Na-"

"DAMMIT! This is another freaking test, isn't it? So, what are my choices this time? Melee against a horde of zombies? Sniping a-"

"It _is_ a test, but not like you're thinking. Remember what I'm training you for, an heir to my throne. What this test is... I want to see how good you are in two fields I haven't tested yet. Conquering and Ruling. Think of it as a longterm final exam... your score depends upon how much territory you conquer and how well you run it. It's like keeping your minions under control, but in a wider scope."

Laharl paused and smirked.

"Also, it'll give you something to do while you wait for me to kick the bucket. Which could be anywhere within the realm of ten to a hundred thousand years from now! AHAhahaHAA!"

Naruto politely waited for the blue-haired man's laughter to die down before bringing up a question.

"So... it's up to me where to begin my conquest?"

"Exactly."

"Well then... I wonder. Does this planet have a linked Makai?"

Laharl's eyes gleamed with amusement.

"It does. And before you ask, there is no ruling Overlord there, and the inhabitants were unusually weak, for demons."

"That sounds like a place to start. Conquer the Makai, then overrun the Elemental countries with a horde of demons."

Laharl just grinned and hefted a scroll towards him.

"But you _still _need to find someplace to start from. You can't spend days or weeks at a time rampaging through demon lands here because there are people who would notice your absence."

Naruto had to begrudgingly admit that he had a point.

xxx

"Are you _sure_ this is the place?"

"Quiet, lardass."

"Girls shouldn't swear, Tay-"

"Hsst!"

At the sharp hiss, the mutters fell into absolute silence. One of the taterred, hanging drapes had been pulled slightly to the side by someone hidden in the shadows. A long, tense moment held before the drape swished back closed again. There were no relieved sighs. They were too well trained to let their guard drop even slightly. It was another minute or so before conversation resumed.

"I don't see why Orochimaru-sama sent us after both of them. Not that I am questioning him... but surely he only needs the one new vessel?"

"He's got something planned for the other one too. That is... if he's here at all."

"I've told you fuckwits a million times, this is where Kabuto said to look."

"Kabuto _also_ mentioned that more than a few people went missing during the ill-fated invasion around this area. Meaning that either this place is heavily trapped or, and this is the more likely one, that there are other people rooming in the inn that are dangerous enough to deal with two dozen mid-chuunin to low-jounin opponents without drawing attention or visibly damaging the building."

"Which is why we're watching from here to wait for an opportune moment rather than rampaging in without thinking."

"_Don't_ patronize _me_ you lardass!"

"Girls shouldn't-"

"Hsst!"

Silence fell again as a window was thrown wide open with drapes pulled to the side, their target standing squarely in the middle. He stepped back from the window, turned on his heel, and sat down with his back blatantly presented to the opening with his face buried in a scroll.

"_Goddamnit_! I can't fucking _believe_ the arrogance of this guy!"

"Tayuya, calm d-"

"Shuttup, faggot."

"Girls shouldn't-"

"You shut up too, lardass. Goddamn. Even a halfwit genin knows enough to keep an eye on all entries. That retard's just asking to be killed."

"That, or he has the power to back his arrogance up."

"..."

"Let's find out which."

The four figures were utterly silent as they moved, drifting and floating almost, as they slid through the thoughtfully provided gateway to gather behind their target in the large sitting room. Those of them that carried kunai had also had their pouches modified so that they could draw their weapons silently as well. He couldn't have possibly known they were there.

But he did.

A malicious wave of murderous intent the likes of which they'd rarely... no, _never_ felt before, as even Orochimaru's paled before this sheer, unbridled aura promising death. Time seemed to freeze as for an eternal moment they saw their own end.

_He stood up calmly and reached behind Tayuya, tugging her flute out from a pocket with one hand as the other wiped away a line of feverish sweat from her brow, then traced her jaw line. Then with a simple twitch of motion, he drove the flute's pointed end up behind her chin and out through the top of her head, nailing her mouth shut._

_Jirobou screamed and clutched at the stump of his arm that the blade had left behind, then gagged as strong fingers dug into his face and neck to force his jaw to remain open, and then... he wanted to scream, but couldn't, as his own fingers were forced into his mouth and past his tongue to poke at his throat, followed by knuckles and a thick hand and wrist until he couldn't breath and the world went dark, and he could taste his own blood pouring out of his mouth._

_Every bone in Kidomaru's legs and every one of his arms was broken, sending a screaming agony throughout his body. His tongue had been torn out and tossed to the side, and his tormentor was picking through a huge selection of weapons as he decided which to use to strike the final blow. The waiting was a more cruel torture than everything before. Finally, he selected a heavy sledge and walked up to the immobile ninja, intent on squashing him like a bug, and with as little effort. The hammer rose... and fell._

_The twins could feel his malicious amusement with their ability. He would tear them apart, then rejoin them, then tear them apart again. They were powerless to stop him. Then the experiments began. He would cut bits off, and see if they could reattach them when they rejoined. They couldn't, and so he grew bored of them, cutting larger and larger bits each time until there was nothing left of them but the left half of Sakon, the right half of Ukon, and a pile of indeterminate meat. He nudged the halves together and smirked._

And then the moment ended, leaving every one of them flinching back, awash with and trembling with the lingering, irrepressible terror.

"It never fails." Naruto grumbled sardonically, not contrite in the slightest for paralyzing the intruders with terror. "Five seconds into anything, and interruptions arrive. So... what do you want?"

"O... Oro... Orochimaru-sama... sends a message..."

One eyebrow arched slightly.

Fifteen minutes later, Naruto left the empty room. On the table were two unrolled maps, one of the entirety of the elemental countries and one of a single country in particular, a kunai left stabbed through the depiction of an empty, lonely mountain and into the table beneath. Scribbled down beside it were two words. 'Leaving Tonight'.

xxx

Sarutobi dimly noticed an odd aftertaste in his medication as his muscles locked up.

"Hiya old man. Guess you forgot that you lent me that 'Big Book of Poisons' when I missed the academy class on them. It seems the memory really is the first thing to go. I can see by your eyes that you misunderstand me... I'm not here to kill you. The poison I used only paralyzes. You'll be fine. I just can't have you interfering right now."

Naruto stepped out of the shadows and smirked.

"The timing couldn't have been better. Two squads worth of the village's best off to drag your successor back kicking and screaming, including almost all of the village's current Jounin-sensei that I know of, a large chunk of the rest of the ninja were somehow cut down by the worthless cannon-fodder that Oto and Suna threw at us during the invasion, and several more teams out of the country entirely on critical political missions for Konoha. Forces are at an all time low for all the history of the village. Chances are if I just walked out, it would be _days_ before someone could be spared to start trailing me. But you know, that doesn't appeal to me. I've alway's liked to add a little more 'oomph' to things than might technically be needed... just a dash of my own special brand of swirling chaos."

"Naruto-"

"Questions can wait, Old man. Anyway, with what I'm planning it'll be more like _weeks_ before you and your successor can even start directing your effort outside Konoha's walls... probably more like months, if I'm lucky. Let me give you a hint. Taiyou and Shuensha."

Sarutobi's eyes snapped to lock onto the blonde's grinning face.

"Amazing what you can find out when you dig a little... and of course, secrets are only hidden from those _outside_ of Konoha. The Taiyou and Shuensha families, with some exceptions, aren't Ninja. They're almost uniformly civilians. Even so, they're bitter enemies... Only held in check by shinobi intervention both open and covert, otherwise they would have long since slaughtered each other down to the last man, woman, and child. Their hatred runs deep, and wasn't I surprised to discover that this is actually the norm for civilians. In essence, half of the village would gladly murder the other half over such trifling matters as who slept with who's daughter, or he said/she said screaming matches that happened decades before even you were born. It's like a keg of mining powder, just waiting for an errant spark to land in the right place."

Naruto's wide smile twisted.

"You never completely understood _why_ I wanted to take your title anyway. I wanted acknowledgement from the shinobi, yes... but you assumed I wanted it from your precious civilians too. You couldn't have been more wrong... the civilians are like a plague. An infestation of rats within our walls, which every successive Hokage has neglected to exterminate, or drive out. Only shinobi deserve to live in a ninja village! All the others have known that for a long time. In reality, Konoha doesn't really rank as one of the five largest, or even ten. The civilians threw off the count, you see, comparatively the number of shinobi we have available is actually quite small. Most of them are of a higher grade, and we just assume that that makes up for lack of numbers? And that's another thing... when we were invaded, the rats scurried off to hide in specially prepared boltholes. Aside from a few caught off guard, they all escaped, while ninja fought and died in their place. If given even one kunai each, those 'civilians' could have ended the attack before it began, but they fled and expected us to protect them."

It twisted further.

"And they make us weak. The civilians don't see things the same way we do. And they talk too much... gossip... spread malevolent rumors... Their hero-worship of Sasuke, because his brother happened to decide not to kill him, is disgusting and warped him in ways I doubt you realize. Kakashi's father wasn't the only ninja that the civilian rumor-wheel drove to suicide. I can name at least a dozen off the top of my head and I _know_ there are more. They impose stupid 'gender roles' on those of their children that they _allow_ to enter the academy, making each graduating class of kunoichi progressively weaker and less prepared for the reality of our lifestyles. Extra classes for flower arranging and tea ceremony are all well and good, but not if they skimp on enough other things in exchange that they're almost worthless when they graduate. They ostracize and alienate that which they don't understand... I asked some who know, and they worshipped Orochimaru just like they did Sasuke before one of his missions required him to slaughter a small outpost of bandits, and they turned on him. Just a couple more generations and the entire Aburame clan will be as publicly reviled as I am, just because of their bugs. And they helped _build_ Konoha, and didn't just move in afterwards like the arrogant Hyuuga and Uchiha did. Few other villages have a council, either, and those that do only allow retired ninja. As time passes, more and more of the seats on our council go to civilians."

Naruto took a deep breath and his grin became wide and cheery again.

"Still, it won't matter for long, and I seem to have drifted off target. Back to the plan... you might have heard of this, or the council might be keeping it close to their chests but over the past few months certain items, sentimentally important to some civilian families, have gone missing."

Sarutobi couldn't help but be horrifically intruiged. He _hadn't_ heard actually, leaving him with the unsettling question of what else the council had concealed from him, but he could see where this was going and couldn't help but be impressed at the cunning it would have taken.

"If my timing is right, then the first one will have been discovered about five minutes ago, in the hip pouch of Shuensa Enma. Prompting a fistfight as the nearby brash, impulsive, and headstrong Taiyou Taki sees it and flies into a rage. It _is_ the only surviving artifact of her great-grandmother's, you know. Any moment now the next will be discovered, followed by the next, until the civilians are rioting in the streets. Now you might wonder what happens next, as even the few shinobi on hand could deal with this problem easily... but I can assure you that they'll have their hands full with other problems. You see, nobody noticed because there was no obvious damage, but the generator for the chakra dampening cells in the prison got hit by a stray fireball during the invasion. From the outside, everything looks fine, but inside? All sorts of sensitive equipment was damaged. It's only still running on inertia, I believe. But I took a look at it myself, and it could 'give out' with a bang at any time. Like... _right now_!"

There was a blinding flash through the window, and when the light died down, Naruto was still grinning.

"Kage Bunshin are good for suicide missions. Now, since I'm guessing you have questions, and you have ten minutes at best before the sedatives in your medicine kick in and knock you out, I'll just stop here and let you discover all the other facets of my ingenious plan after the fact. I really hope you manage to pick up the pieces and fix what's left of Konoha when I'm through... You see, like Orochimaru, I intend to come back eventually. But not as a destroyer... no. As a conqueror."

"I do have... one question." Sarutobi rasped out.

"Oh?"

"Why hasn't... Gaara interfered?"

Naruto's grin grew wider as he turned to the side of the room where Gaara had, indeed, been standing and listening the entire time.

"Hmm... something you should understand. Demons, and to a degree, their containers, have a different concept of loyalty than humans do. It's all based on strength. The strongest commands the most loyalty, above all other bonds. And while you're stronger than Gaara, _I'm_ stronger than both of you. Skill and experience don't really factor into things, before you ask... it's all pure power."

Sarutobi managed to make an approximation of a somber nod through the paralysis.

"That... would have been... good to know earlier..."

He slumped backward, unconscious.

"Hm. Goodnight, old man. Pleasant dreams. Are you coming, Tanuki?"

xxx

A.N.

I went and looked it up and, sure enough, Baki _doesn't_ use a sword. Whoops... my bad. But for the sake of the story I'm going to rewrite history so that Baki _does_ have a sword, because I wanted Gaara to have one, and this was the most reasonable way for her to get ahold one.

Hahaha... no, Naruto isn't an Inuzuka. Tsume just thinks he might be. Just a little plot thread that may or may not turn out to be important. But probably not.

Naruto _could_ have left the way Canon!Sasuke did, like a thief in the night, but frankly I liked this better. Starting a huge riot, releasing prisoners, generally causing havoc... pretty much exactly how I envisioned it.

And I really do think that a lot of problems in the series would be solved right off the bat if, rather than just a Ninja village, Konoha was a _Ninja-only_ village. Just my opinion.


	11. Chapter 11

Overlord

xxx

It was chaos, pure and simple. Like a city wide bar brawl.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Anko screamed. "Shouldn't the ANBU riot-breakers have dealt with them by now?"

"They're busy." Grumbled Ibiki, ducking his head to allow an empty bottle to fly past. "Hunting down escaped prisoners, like we're doing."

"And what a _great _time the generator picked to blow. It has to be sabotage."

"Maybe. We'll look into that later. For now, we've got convicts to capture."

A window above them shattered as a civilian was hurled through it and fell, screaming, several stories to the ground in a wet splat. He was ignored by both of the ninja present.

"Although how, exactly, they expect us to find anything in this... mess... I can't imagine."

"If we had a Hyuuga?" Anko interjected.

"Things would be easier in that case, but they've withdrawn to their clan compound. No word on their status has come out, and with all the traps in that place that you _can't_ avoid without the Byakugan, nobody wants to go in after them."

"Cowards!" Anko snarled, to which Ibiki answered with a noncommital grunt.

As they continued their hunt, they had no idea how wrong they were. Seals had been emplaced just inside the Hyuuga clan compound that kept sounds from escaping. Like screams.

xxx

Hyuuga Hiroshi was the keeper of the Book. It was a humble position, but an important one, as the Book held writings from long ago, in the days of the first Hyuuga. She had not been a warrior, but a seer, and while her prophecies had been politely disregarded by her children while she lived, they were taken much more seriously once they began to fulfill themselves.

Though Hiroshi had read the Book many times, from cover to dusty cover, he'd never expected the one playing out before his very eyes to come true. At least, not within the remainder of his lifetime, and not for centuries after. Quietly, as the slaughter before him continued, he began to recite the writing under his breath.

"Fallen angel, wings of bone-

Turns and strikes against her home-

Swiftly cuts her kinsmen down-

Turns the Hyuuga fortunes 'round-

Cousin's hatred, kinsmen's scorn-

Proved too much to be easily borne-

Of this trav'sty I do warn-

Fallen angel, may my verse-

Turn the fates tide from their course-

May my children see their fate-

and act before-"

He was cut off as a blood-drenched spear tore deep into his vitals and he slumped to the ground, accepting that his death could not have been prevented. His last breath hissed out, carrying the last words of the prophecy.

"-It is too late."

Hinata flicked the blood off of the blade of her spear as Hiashi dropped into the courtyard. About time... the whole point of this slaughter was to get his attention. He should have long since been here, especially since every one of the people she'd just killed had been of the head family or the council of elders. The branch family was currently stationed at the outer edges of the compound, turning their gazes outward so as to repel any of the rioters and looters that got the bright idea of making a target of the rich Hyuuga. Their arrogance and superiority would ensure that none of them looked inwards until the riot had calmed, and that would certainly be hours yet. Also, a second layer of carefully placed seals prevented the noise of battle from traveling out of the courtyard.

Hiashi took a moment to analyze the battlefield. When he finished, he didn't look upset. More... mildly dissappointed, like he'd caught his daughter finger-painting on the walls more than anything else. It sent Hinata into a boiling rage, which was probably the point.

"Hinata." He said mildly, but managing to convey a sense of chastisement nonetheless. "Do you understand what you are doing?"

"I'm breaking the chains that bind me, _Father_." She snarled back, beating her wings once in vexation.

He nodded slowly.

"I see. Then you intend to fight me? Do you honestly think that you can win the battle? Know your place."

With a flash of lightning from the storm-clouds gathering overhead, the real battle began.

xxx

"Hmm. And on top of everything else, now it's raining. A masterstroke that even I could not have planned for."

Gaara scowled at the clouds before turning and smashing open a barricaded corner store. She'd find an umbrella to keep her sand dry, then go find her siblings.

"We'll catch up."

"If you wish, Tanuki."

He smirked and continued on, ignoring the rain that grew heavier the closer he got to the gates of Konoha.

"Hey... Idiot. Where do you think you're going?"

He stopped as Sasuke stepped out of a covered side-alley to confront him.

"I... don't see how it's any of your business, bastard."

"I won't let you through."

Lightning flashed, and a howling wind set Naruto's cloak to billowing dramatically.

"You can't stop me."

"Idiot. You're my best friend, my key. You will be the sacrifice offered to the altar of my Sharingan, from which I will attain its true power. You're not allowed to just leave."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he flashed on his Kekkei Genkai.

"This time, I won't forfeit, dobe. Both of us can't walk away from this battle- and this time, there's nobody watching to be upset when I kill you."

Naruto barked out a short laugh.

"Kill... me? Sasuke. Have you already forgotten our last battle? You can't win."

"The time for words is past!"

As if in silent agreement, both transformed and lunged into the attack at the same moment.

xxx

Hiashi had lowered himself to using simple ninja tools for this battle, and Hinata's spear was repeatedly deflected with the kunai gripped in his left hand. His right was held loosely by his side as he waited patiently for an opening to strike at.

"You can't win, daughter. Youth and exuberance just isn't enough, I'm afraid. Tell me... what did you hope to accomplish with this futility? Did you have some noble goal in mind?"

She snorted and flipped backwards to avoid an unexpected Jyuuken thrust.

"I was just... sick of looking at their old faces. Day in, and day out."

"Hmm. I see... you're lying. No matter, even this can be forgiven and covered up. An enemy ninja, perhaps from cloud, took advantage of the state of distraction. I can fix this. All you have to do-"

Hiashi's eyes went hard and an overwhelming miasma of murderous intention filled the air, its heavy weight surprising and momentarily staggering Hinata.

"Is repent of your ill-concieved show of rebellion. Kneel, daughter, and accept your place in the world."

Hinata snarled and lunged. Hiashi sighed in apparent remorse.

"So be it. _Kaiten!_"

xxx

"Damn. That looks bad out there. Not saying anything, but shouldn't you be out there, helping?"

Uzuki Yuugao snorted behind her ANBU mask.

"I have my orders. Until my relief comes, or those orders are rescinded by the Sandaime, I'm not taking my eyes off you. Besides, I just don't trust you Sand-brats. Your sensei _murdered_ Hayate. If I thought I could get away with it, you'd already be dead."

"Jeez lady, calm down. Like I said before, we had nothing to do with that, and we have no intention of-"

"Temari, Kankurou. It's time to go."

Kankurou laughed nervously as Uzuki drew her Ninja-to in one smooth motion.

"Gaara... you know... your timing really sucks." Temari deadpanned.

"I _knew_ it! So you're behind this riot. A second shot at Konoha, eh? I'll kill you all!"

Her sword swung for one of the sibling's throats, from the angle it was difficult to tell which, and was blocked by Gaara's. Uzuki froze for a moment.

"Hayate... Hayate's sword... You dare!"

xxx

"It's... it's going crazy in there."

"Gimme the scope, lard-ass!"

It was a measure of his astonishment that Jiroubo didn't complain about his teammate's foul mouth, simply nodded and passed the telescope over. After a moment of staring through it, she let out a long, low whistle.

"Damn. You know what this means? Orochimaru-sama's gonna throw a hissy fit because this guy's plan did more damage to Konoha, with less effort, than his did."

There was a large explosion as a fire spread to one of the Shinobi depots and set a small crate of explosive tags alight.

"A _serious_ bitch-fest."

Lightning flashed in the clouds overhead.

xxx

Meanwhile, in a surprising show of complex dramatic timing, yet another showdown was taking place. Tsunade stood in the middle of an open field. On one end, Orochimaru waited, carefully cradling his injured arm with Kabuto stanting quietly behind and to his right. On the other end was a squad of Konoha's finest, with no idea as to how things were going back home, plus Shizune.

The time for talk had long since ended. Orochimaru wanted Tsunade to heal his hand... with the level of damage it had sustained, she was probably the only one that could. The squad from Konoha either wanted her to return to Konoha and become Gondaime, or at the least to _not_ heal Orochimaru.

And Tsunade had had a tricky plan in mind, foiled when the squad from Konoha appeared faster than expected. She'd intended to have Orochimaru ressurect her loved ones, then stiff him on the bill with a dose of poisonous chakra instead of the medical jutsu he'd expected. At this point, though, she'd nixed the plan and her only intention was to get out of the situation she'd found herself in without finding herself obligated to either party.

The three sannin summoned their Boss creatures, and the battle began in earnest.

xxx

Both swords were blurs of metal, but it soon became apparent that Gaara was toying with the older Kunoichi. Mainly because she didn't bother defending, simply letting her automatic shield of sand take care of it. Yuugao had no such ultimate defense, and had rapidly accumulated a series of small nicks and gashes before she began fighting defensively.

Unfortunately for her, Gaara was in a hurry.

"This has become boring, Neko. Allow me to test out my new move. Desert Rush!"

The sudden wave of sand blasted Yuugao into the wall repeatedly until it gave way with a creak and she was launched, injured, out into the night.

"New move?" Kankurou muttered under his breath. "Correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't that exactly the same thing that Gaara always does?"

Temari shrugged absently as she kicked open the closet that Yuugao had locked their equipment up in.

xxx

Blood trickled down the corner of Hinata's mouth as she slammed, once again, into the stone wall surrounding the courtyard. Hiashi hadn't moved an inch, and was now standing in a good size crater.

"You see, daughter? Nothing can get through the Hyuuga ultimate defense technique. It is pointless to resist... no matter how you flail, you cannot pierce the Kaiten. Surren..."

Hiashi paused in his monologue as several wet 'schlump's signified the turning of the battle. One of the arrows poked entirely through his throat, and suddenly Hinata wasn't the only one leaking blood. She stood and wiped her mouth, smirking at Hiashi as he wobbled slightly.

"Heh... Did you take me for a fool, father? I knew full well about the Kaiten. Its a cover for the Byakugan's weakness... that one degree of vision that is our blind spot. The reason I kept attacking..."

The smirk widened, showing red-stained teeth.

"Was simply to keep you distracted, and give Hanabi-chan enough time to set up her shot. You're surprised? But you know, good sisters should do everything together. Hm. You're starting to turn grey. You'll be dead soon, several of your vitals are pierced and Hanabi's arrows are tipped with an extremely toxic mixture. Just in case you managed to notice I wasn't your only opponent, even a scratch would have been enough to end you. One last thing I want to do before you die, though..."

Hinata shot forward and kicked Hiashi in the crotch, hard enough that he lifted several inches off the ground and his eyes bugged out. Then he collapsed to his knees and vomited blood all over himself.

"... THAT was for... well... just because I felt like it, really. And you're an asshole. So cry like a bitch and DIE, FUCKER!"

And, just like that, there were suddenly only two remaining Main House Hyuuga.

xxx

It had quickly shifted to a battle between summons, leaving a majority of the Konoha ninja useless in the fray. The only one there who could actually summon was Kakashi, and the dogs he could summon... would be like attacking someone with gnats. Now, as any Aburame could tell you, a swarm of hundreds of thousands of gnats could kill someone, but a half dozen or so... would be a mild irritation at very best, and possibly go completely unnoticed.

And so, Tsunade had escaped pretty easily. All she'd had to do was to trick Jiraiya and Orochimaru into focusing their battle against the other, which wasn't at all difficult, and then grab Shizune and leave. And riding on the back of Katsuyuu, it wasn't like any of the other nearby ninja could stop her.

They could track her, of course, but that would have to wait until the other two sannin's fight ended. That could take a while, as she'd carefully chosen her words to fan the flames of rage within the shinobi to a white-hot intensity.

_Flashback-_

_Tsunade: "Hey, Jiraiya! Orochimaru thinks that your novels are trashy, low class pieces of literary garbage. Also, that your wart makes your nose look huge. Orochimaru! Jiraiya thinks you should get a tan and do something with your hair, and that your fashion sense is twenty years out of date!"_

_The fiery auras of doom crackling around her two former teammates signified that her work was done._

They had been just as easy to rile up as when they were children. She knew all their buttons, and just which ones to push. It was entirely possible that, without someone stronger than the both of them to drag them off each other, they'd keep fighting until both passed out from exhaustion.

Which should have been days away. However, she had miscalculated just how much both parties wanted her services, and it was only several hours before the other two parts of the Legendary Sannin noticed she was gone and broke off their battle, calling a retreat as they returned to their own villages and awaited word from their spy networks to see where Tsunade turned up.

xxx

This time, Naruto had decided not to toy with his opponent. He didn't have the time, the patience, or the inclination to stick around. He'd decided to leave, and that was that.

Sasuke tried to take to the air. There would be none of that... this was no ninja fight. This was a battle between demons. Naruto tackled him to the ground and began ripping into his opponent with tooth and claw, completely ignoring his special techniques in the urge to make Sasuke _bleed_. After a short outcry of pain and surprise, Sasuke returned as good as he got.

It quickly became obvious, though, that he was outmatched.

Sasuke's scaly wings could be folded to protect him from attacks, but once the enemy was inside that guard there was nothing to be done. A human's jaw wasn't designed for biting and tearing into a moving opponent. Even with enlarged canines, that held true, and the best he could do was get a couple mouthfuls of thick fur. Naruto's mouth, however, had extended into a muzzle, and his jaw was now filled with dozens of sharp and pointy teeth. A Chidori might have turned the tide, but the moment Naruto registered the slightest crackle of electricity he slammed Sasuke to the ground with his arms held in an awkward and painful position and continued to tear into him with his teeth.

After several minutes of this, Sasuke had been thoroughly savaged and wouldn't be able to do much more than twitch for the next several hours. His breathing was raspy, and his shoulders were dislocated. It would take a long time for him to heal all of that damage.

Naruto, almost completely unharmed in comparison, stepped back and shook the rain off himself like a dog before shifting back into human form and grinning cockily at his downed opponent.

"I told you, Sasuke. You're still unfamiliar with that form. No plan, no strategy, just a foolish rage. You couldn't win. Is this... how you intend to kill me? How you intend to kill that other person? Heh."

Naruto shook his head in mockery, turned, and kicked a hole in the great gate.

"You are... weak."

With that parting shot he stalked away, through the hole and out of Konoha.

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke was still there as the Sand siblings made their exit through the very same hole, the elder two chatting about something completely inconsequential. Not one of the trio spared so much as a glance for his crumpled form.

The humiliation of being brushed off like that, of being below notice, was just what it took for him to dig still further into the depths of his cursed seal. Purple fire sprang to life and licked at his wounds as he slowly stood and limped his own way to the hole, leaking a barely noticeable trail of blood..

xxx

"So what now, leader?"

Naruto blinked and arched an eyebrow at the large one. He'd forgotten their names, as he'd not deemed them important enough to memorize at the time.

"'Leader'?" He asked as he set a brisk pace in the general direction of rice country.

"Well, yeah." The multi-limbed one answered. "It was Orochimaru-sama's decision. The moment you left Konoha, you became our leader. Captain of the Sound Four."

Naruto considered that for a moment.

"Well... it's always good to have more minions."

"Minions!" The girl shrieked. "Why, you..."

"Of course, if you prefer," He continued. "It's also good to have spare meatshields."

"Minions is fine." The big one answered quickly.

"I assumed you'd agree. Now then... how long to the border?"

"At our current pace... eight hours." The two-headed one decided.

Naruto grunted in response and leapt up to the trees, followed rapidly by his new minions. The trip was silent for several hours, as they had to focus on their high-speed Tarzan impressions and avoid splatting into tree trunks, or slipping and falling off. This required a great deal of concentration.

So much so, that when their new leader decided to suddenly come to a sudden stop and drop lightly into a small clearing, their own landing was... less than graceful. In fact, they ended up in a groaning heap. Naruto ignored them and continued staring into the darkness.

"I know you're out there. Show yourself, whoever you are."

Two figures in black cloaks with red cloud prints dropped silently into the clearing. One looked like some horrible genetic experiment, crossing a human and a shark, and had a huge wrapped sword strapped to his back. The other had long, blonde hair with black roots, that looked like he'd started to touch up his dye job before being interrupted and sent on an urgent errand..

"Naruto-kun." The second stated in a soft monotone. "Our organization, Akatsuki, requires your presence. You will come with us."

Naruto's cloak began to ripple, as though in a nonexistent wind. After a moment of the stalemate, the blue man spoke up.

"Hey Itachi... looks like he won't come quietly." He raised a hand to the hilt of his sword. "Do you think I should cut off his legs?"

Itachi frowned for a moment before answering.

"That... may be neccessary."

Naruto's response was to finger the compacted base panel in his pocket as he quickly scanned the two.

They were strong. Monstrously so, for humans. Each was several times as powerful as Orochimaru had been. He was confident that he could take one of them, one on one. Both at once, however, was questionable. Should he call for backup? No... no, he'd fight without his minions to begin with. For that matter...

"You four..." He called back to the sounds, who had gotten to their feet and into battle positions at some point. "Stand down. This does not yet concern you."

"Then you will come with us?" Itachi asked, with no real inflection to the question.

Naruto snorted and called his Sesshoumaru from his weapon rack.

"This is Sesshoumaru... my Perfect Killer. Look upon it well, for it will be the last thing you ever see."

The blue man let loose a bark of laughter.

"He's a scrappy little brat, eh Itachi? Maybe I should cut off his arms too... wouldn't do to have him trying to use Jutsu while we extract 'it'."

Itachi considered for a long moment before heaving a sigh.

"Do as you please, Kisame."

In an instant, Kisame's sword had slammed into the ground where Naruto had just been standing, sending up a momentary cloud of dirt. When it settled, his eyes snapped into the air, where Naruto was falling in preparation for an all-or-nothing overhead chop.

"Heh. Fool!"

He quickly lifted his sword back up and slammed it through Naruto's legs, and watched as the limbs flew off... and the Kage Bunshin disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Shit!"

Trusting his instincts, Kisame quickly jumped up and heaved himself backwards, clearing the slash at his kidneys, and continuing the backflip to land and cleave the... second Kage Bunshin in half. Crap. Cold metal came to a rest against his throat.

After a long moment, Naruto spoke up.

"It seems we are at a stalemate."

Itachi Hn'ed, but didn't move his kunai from its resting place against Naruto's jugular. Naruto sighed deeply.

"Well... good thing I'm not the real one either."

The Akatsuki had no time to process that comment, as the real Naruto had just dropped in behind Itachi, sword sheathed in something vaguely reminiscient of a battoujutsu stance. He shot forward with the first technique the hidden runes on the Sesshoumaru had implanted into his brain, and it seemed to work well. His Kage bunshin poofed away, leaving Itachi and Kisame to bear the full load of the damage.

And collapse into puddles.

A somehow sarcastic sound of clapping filled the air, as the _real_ Itachi and Kisame stepped into the clearing.

"Nice, kid." Kisame smirked. "But you should know by now that water clones only fight at one tenth of the level of their originator, at best. Face it, you're outclassed. Surrender, and I can promise you that you won't be tortured too badly."

"Is that... supposed to be an incentive?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"Well, the extraction process is extremely painful in and of itself, and you'll definitely die after it's done, but we won't hurt you aside from that. You'll still be in one piece for the funeral, if your allies find you before you rot too much anyway. If you keep resisting, though... well, the extraction only needs you to be alive. We could drag you in as a limbless torso, with your face peeled off, and it wouldn't make a difference. The only question is 'How much pain do you want to go through before you die'?"

Naruto stared for a moment, then turned to Itachi.

"You know, I'm pretty sure I've heard your name before. You wouldn't happen to be... _Uchiha_ Itachi, by any chance?"

The man's eyes flashed, and turned just slightly purplish, and Naruto could just barely make out spinning pinwheels.

"I see... colored contacts, to disguise your Sharingan. I'm impressed... Little Sasuke is so proud of his Sharingan, he'd never think of something like that."

"And I tire of your meaningless conversation. Tsukiyomi."

The world twisted. When things settled down, Naruto found himself crucified on a plain in a sea of darkness, an ominous red sky over his head. He snorted in disgust.

"Genjustsu? You're fighting me with Genjutsu? Tch. Kai." A long moment passed, and Naruto repeated, almost desperately. "Kai... KAI! Why won't it work?"

"You've never fought a Master of Genjutsu, have you little Jinchuuriki?"

_"You've never fought a real Master or Mistress of Illusion, have you? Your funeral, dood."_ Echoed around inside his skull. Well... well, uh... Crap! Naruto hated being proven wrong.

"In this realm, my world of Tsukiyomi, I am god." It was said without a single hint of arrogance, a statement of absolute truth. "You cannot leave... you are at the mercy of my every whim. Now... for the next seventy two hours, you will be repeatedly torn apart and devoured by carrion birds. Enjoy."

Naruto nearly bit through his tongue in his attempt to keep from screaming, and didn't succeed for long. The birds pecked him apart slowly, tiny mouthful by mouthful, until it was almost a relief when he died. Then suddenly he was healed, and Itachi was smirking at him.

"Seventy one hours, fifty nine minutes, and fifty nine seconds left, Naruto-kun."

As the birds descended again, Naruto didn't bother to quash his howl of mingled agony and fury.

It was an eternity later that the cycles of torment ended, and the world faded back into reality. Naruto dropped to his knees, stabbing the Sesshoumaru into the ground to keep himself partially upright.

"My Tsukiyomi." Itachi explained for the education of the Sound four, who had no idea what had just happened. "Using it, I can compress up to three days of torture into the span of a single second, simply by meeting the gaze of my opponent."

"Hurts... hurts... get... Get them away... the birds... it hurts..." Naruto gasped out in between pained breaths.

"Kisame... take him."

"Tch... you get all the fun Itachi."

"... kill you..."

Kisame blinked and Itachi arched an eyebrow at Naruto as he slowly stood up, fighting off the mental backlash of Itachi's Mangekyou jutsu.

"I'll... **KILL YOU!"** He howled, transforming fully into his monstrous form, the tail behind him bulging and twisting as it split into two tails, both lashing furiously.

"This was unexpected..." Itachi mumbled, as the Sound Four, no longer content to just sit on the sidelines and watch, shifted directly to their Level 2 forms and dived into the fray after Naruto.

"Hey, I recognize you now!" Kisame said, hefting Samehada to deflect the boulder Jirubou had thrown at him. "Your Orochimaru's little experiments. But where's the bone freak?"

"He's-" Kidoumaru started, before being cut off.

"Above you." Kimmimaro stated as he dropped down, using his own spine as a weapon.

"Ki- Kimmimaro!" Tayuya stuttered out before composing herself. "What the fuck are you doing here? You're dying, you stupid-"

"Yes... my body is wearing out at an accellerated rate, now. I only still move by willpower alone. However... I must do this. Before I die, I must ensure the safe arrival of my successor as captain, even if Orochimaru-sama cannot use his body as a host. If I do that, then my death is not a waste."

"Heh... too bad, Bone-Freak... but that kid has the 'Nine' sealed within him. We can't just let him walk away, you know? And you've forgotten something..."

Samehada smashed through Kimmimaro's spine spear like it was cheap toilet paper.

"My Samehada devours chakra. Your chakra infused bones are as brittle as a dry twig before it."

Kimmimaro leapt backwards, snatching Naruto's sword from the ground where he'd left it and brought it up to block Kisame's next strike. Surprisingly, it held firm.

"Huh... so there's something special about that sword after all... that Sesshoumaru. It'll keep, though. For now, you're in my way... let's see if your Kenjutsu has improved any, in the years we've been apart."

The fighting was fierce. Kimmimaru and Naruto were the main performers, each coming the closest to the levels of power that their Akatsuki opponent could bring to bear, while the sound four were, even at Level 2, distractions at best. But their distractions would occasionally create openings for the two main fighters to take advantage of, and the Akatsuki couldn't afford to turn their backs on either of them to deal with those distractions, or spare a moment to create clones to do it for them. It was turning into a running battle, and there was no real way of telling who would win.

Then the Sand trio arrived to tilt the balance, just enough.

**"Tanuki!"** Naruto barked out. **"Do not meet his-**"

"Tsukiyomi!"

**"- Eyes. Tch."**

Warning heard just a moment too late, Gaara appeared in the land of Tsukiyomi, bound and naked, hanging by her wrists.

"Female? This is indeed a night of surprises. Kunoichi, however, are much simpler to break."

Hordes of faceless male figures began clawing their way out of the dirt and staggering towards her. More than a few were grotesquely exaggerated, or had extra appendages sprouting from strange places.

"For the next seventy two hours, you will be defiled in every twisted and perverse manner imaginable. This is what you get, for interfering with Akatsuki."

It only took a moment for Gaara to discover that in this place, she had no control over sand. After that came an indescribably horrific series of experiences.

"Seventy one hours, fifty nine minutes, and fifty nine seconds to go." Itachi stated before sitting down in a recliner that he made appear and opening up a bag of popcorn. Gaara's scream cut off almost immediately.

Back in the real world, Gaara dropped to a knee, red bangs flopping over her eyes. For a moment, she was silent.

Then she slammed a fist into the ground, and the dirt rapidly shifted until the ground was sand in every direction for as far as they could see through the trees, and the gourd on her back smashed open with the force of the sand inside exploding outwards.

_"I'll crush you into paste!"_ She howled, and for once, the Bijuu was in perfect agreement.

"Itachi!" Kisame snarled as he got a lucky shot in and swatted Kimmimaro into a tree, dazing him temporarily. "Just for your information, its starting to look like using that technique against containers is a _BAD_ idea!"

"Indeed." Itachi reluctantly concurred. "For that matter, I've drained a great deal of my chakra, and with both the 'One' and the 'Nine' here now..."

"Time for a tactical retreat and re-analysis of the situation, do you think?"

Itachi nodded and they jumped into the trees, Itachi making a slight detour to snatch Naruto's sword out of Kimmimaro's limp grip.

"I'll be keeping this, as a memento of our little encounter, Naruto-kun. There's definitely something special about it, to stand up to Kisame's Zanbato, and I've recently misplaced my old ANBU blade. This will make a decent replacement."

Gaara howled with wordless rage as she directed a tidal wave of sand at the Akatsuki. It smashed up the tree they were standing in, as well as a great deal of the forest behind it and to the sides, but wasn't fast enough to catch the two before they left the area.

"Not enough! _I demand BLOOD!__** Someone has to DIE!**_" She screamed, sand rapidly coalescing around her, forming slowly into a miniature Shukaku as her eyes roved over the nearby shinobi, obviously calculating which one would be the easiest kill.

Naruto shifted back into human form.

"Tanuki... control yourself."

She snarled violently at him and continued shifting. His eyes narrowed and a heavy weight seemed to settle on everyone in the clearing as he brought his full killing intent to bear.

"You will control yourself, Tanuki, or I will kill you now."

After a long moment Gaara grunted and reluctantly allowed most of the sand coating her to drop back to the ground as the rest pieced her gourd back together and held it that way as it filled. A temporary repair, but it would do.

"He-ey!" Kankurou called over to them from where he was poking Kimmimaro's prone form with a stick. "Not to interrupt or anything, but this guy... he's kinda dead.

"Really?" Naruto blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Well unless I'm mistaken, that's his liver in this puddle of vomit here... His skin is all cold and clammy... his eyes are glazed over... he's not breathing... and he has no pulse. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's dead as a doornail."

"Hm... pity. He fought well. Bring him with us."

"You're going to give him a funeral?" Kidoumaru wondered aloud.

"Eh, something like that. Only, not really."

xxx

Sasuke didn't pass through the area until much later, and got the feeling that he'd missed out on something important.

xxx

Sarutobi already knew it was too late, even as he managed to claw his way back to semi-consciousness. Even if this had been a spur of the moment idea, Naruto would have taken the time to check what dosage would be required to keep a ninja of roughly his age, capability, weight, and several other factors out until well after he was long gone.

He slowly opened his eyes, ignoring the jarring effect of the glaring light in the white hospital room. So someone had gotten up the nerve to intrude upon him, then... that boded ill. Also, he noted that several of the faces surrounding him were ones he'd sent out to retrieve Tsunade, including Kakashi and Asuma.

Tsunade, he noted, was _not_ present. That alone spoke volumes as to the success of their mission, so he saw no reason to bring up the failure.

"Damage report." He croaked out, then rubbed at his throat. "And a glass of water, if you don't mind."

Ibiki raised one, or perhaps both of his eyebrows under his bandanna and ruffled the paper held in his clipboard as Anko slipped quietly out to harrass a nurse.

"You know, then, about the little... fracas, last night, sir?"

"I was the first to know, minutes before it began." The Hokage grumbled bitterly.

Ibiki blinked slowly as he assimilated that information.

"Ah... Well, there were more than a few casualties. The civilians just started killing each other, with anything and everything they could get their hands on, for no apparent reason. Normally this would have been put to a stop quickly enough by the riot-breakers, but all available ANBU had their hands full tracking some escaped prisoners through the mess. Fortunately, those prisoners were more concerned with escape than revenge, or the damage could have been much more extensive. As things are, most of them were tracked down outside of town. Thirty percent, however, are still loose."

Ibiki flipped the papers and paused a moment as Anko arrived with some sort of drink.

"Structural damage to the village was thankfully minimal. We lost a warehouse and there were several fires in the residential districts, but they were fortunately put out before we lost too much. A dozen buildings were lost, total. Also, there are a great deal of people unaccounted for, and we have ninja searching them out. Several of the missing persons are ninja however, including Tokiri Mai, Sabaku no Kankurou, Sabaku no Temari, Sabaku no Gaara, Ininichi Ayame, Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Hanabi, Kareki Hana, Uchiha Sasuke... And Uzumaki Naruto. There may be more, however a number of these disappearances are troubling. There was an incident... a massacre of the Main House Hyuuga. Hinata and Hanabi are the only survivors, if they are indeed still alive, as they haven't been seen since before the riot began. Suspicion falls on both Kumo infiltrators, and possibly one or both of the girls themselves. The ANBU are forcefully reminded of the Uchiha Incident, and the Branch Hyuuga are of multiple opinions on the matter. The civilians have not yet been made aware of the situation. The Suna defectors disappearance is also worrying, as Uzuki Yuugao, who was instructed to keep them in custody, has been found badly injured after a long fall, and is currently comatose. Traces of sand were found in her outfit. It is currently unknown whether the Suna defectors simply defected, or if the sand was planted and they were removed by enemy forces. As a jinchuuriki, Gaara would be invaluable to any number of groups. As would Uzumaki Naruto. As to Uchiha Sasuke-"

"Enough." Sarutobi held up a hand as he interrupted the report. "Thank you, but I'll read the rest later, in your official report. Kakashi, Anko, Ibiki, and Kurenai. You will remain as I debrief you on what I know of the situation. The rest of you will please leave."

Sarutobi remained quiet for a moment for the extra shinobi to vacate the premises before he sat up with a soft groan.

"The blame for this... falls squarely on your shoulders, Kakashi. And mine," He continued before the man could interrupt. "I should have taken the time to speak to Naruto the moment I learned of your deficiencies in his training."

"I... I don't understand..."

"No, I don't suppose you do." Sarutobi heaved a deep sigh. "The grand orchestrator of last night... it was Naruto."

Kakashi was obviously stunned, so much so that he couldn't speak. Kurenai stepped in to fill his silence.

"There must be some mistake. Naruto... he loves the village. I'm sure of it. When Hinata was assigned to my team, I checked out all her friends, and he..." She shook her head. "There must be some mistake."

"No mistake. I'm sure that Naruto would not have done something like this as he was when he graduated from the academy," Sarutobi allowed. "But after being placed in a team that, upon reflection, was all wrong for him, being basically ignored by his sensei, who seemed to have chosen to train only one student? Being goaded into repeatedly using a power source just as corruptive, if not more so, than Orochimaru's curse seal?" Anko clutched at her neck, unnotiiced. "After possibly being corrupted by that power, if not by the fox itself? No... somewhere between his graduation and the chuunin exam, he began to see the village in an entirely different light, and I curse myself for a fool for not seeing it before."

Sarutobi took a deep drink before continuing.

"Gaara left to follow Naruto, I know that much for certain, as well as why. As to the whereabouts of Hinata and Hanabi, I cannot be sure... but I believe they may have followed him as well, though for what reason I cannot say. Sasuke..." He hesitated a moment before continuing. "Sasuke, I believe, has also left to follow Naruto, and I fear that I know why. Ibiki, Anko. You are aware of 'Mangekyou', I trust?"

The two snapped to attention.

"After Itachi, our spy networks have been on the lookout for any mention of him. Several times the mangekyou has been heard of, but all we could discover of it is that it is some sort of advancement on the Sharingan."

"It's much more than that. Uchiha Madara bore the Mangekyou sharingan, and the Shodaime managed to learn a great deal about it without his knowledge. All of that information is hidden away in the Hokage's library. The mangekyou unlocks three potent techniques that cannot be used any other way. Tsukiyomi, a genjutsu that cannot be escaped through ordinary means. Amaterasu, possibly the most devastating fire technique in all the world. And Susano'o... of which there is no data. But the important thing is how one awakens the Mangekyou in the first place. To do so, the Uchiha must..." He paused, and his eyes hardened. "Murder, in cold blood, their closest friend."

The room went silent for a moment before he continued.

"Sasuke... as far as I know, he has no friends. He is simply not a... hmm. People person. The closest thing he has is teammates, and he's much closer to Naruto than Sakura. That may well be a fortunate thing, as Sakura is almost completely untrained, and he could have killed her with no trouble at any time he chose."

"I don't understand..." Kurenai interjected. "Kakashi can't possibly be _that_ bad of a sensei, can he?"

There was a long silence, during which Kakashi did his best not to meet anyone's eyes, that was eventually broken with a soft cough from the Hokage.

"In light of recent events... Kakashi, I'm temporarily re-assigning Sakura to team eight until further notice. To compromise with the team's tracking skills, however, I'm ordering you to allow her to sign your Dog contract and teach her the Chidori. Aside from that, Kurenai may teach her however she sees fit. Until miss Haruno is up to speed, Team eight will be temporarily restricted to missions inside the bounds of Konohagakure, and you _will_ be training her to the best of your ability, or I'll be reassigning you as 'demonstration dummy' for the instruction of new techniques to the T/I initiates."

Kakashi visibly flinched before teleporting away in a swirl of leaves.

"... _Can_ he actually be that bad of a sensei?" Kurenai wondered aloud.

"I'm afraid that when I assigned teams I didn't consider that, despite how powerful a ninja is... teaching may not, neccessarily, be their forte. Another instructor would likely have been far more suitable, despite the council's pressure to have Sasuke properly trained in his Sharingan." The old man admitted, looking every one of his years.

Kurenai couldn't find anything to say to that. In all honesty, there probably wasn't anything she _could_ say. Instead, she left to find the academy records of her new student.

xxx

A.N. Action-Packed!

Eh, I drafted and discarded several copies of this chapter. Even this doesn't seem quite right. It is, however, close enough to my original intentions that I feel comfortable posting it.

Names on the list of unaccounted for ninja that you don't recognize are unimportant. I just made them up off the top of my head.

Prophecy sucks, I know. Originally it was much longer, extremely vague, and ambivalent, but described Hinata pretty much to a 'T'... if you looked at it the right way. Then I lost that draft. TT TT Now, it's an asinine, quick little ditty that doesn't really hold a candle to the original. Oh well.

Edit: Changed 'Iruka' to 'Ibiki'. Not sure how I missed that before posting... my bad. Iruka is the dead guy, so he wasn't at the meeting. Ibiki is the head of Torture/Interrogation, and was. Also, apologies to those who are upset about Itachi. There are several reasons I had him do that to poor Gaara. A-I just plain don't like the guy, B- He's ruthless and amoral, so it isn't actually far out of character, C- the Tsukiyomi is a mind-rape technique right from the start, so it's not that big of a step, and D- I don't think we ever see him use the Mangekyou on a female in the manga, so there's no real basis for comparison. You can't say 'Oh, Itachi-bishie wouldn't do that!' because, you know, he probably would. If you don't like my reasoning, fine. Nobody's forcing you to read this. Go away. For the rest of you, yes, this chapter hit a really dark note, but it should be shifting back to the dark-humor end of the scale quickly.


	12. Chapter 12

Overlord

xxx

Sakura had, ironically enough, gone to bed early and slept the night through. As such, she'd not noticed any of the mayhem occurring as she slept. She also awoke before her parents did, and quickly made her way to Team seven's meeting place while still more than half asleep, not really registering the damage to the buildings she passed by, or the puddles of drying blood she detoured around. She also didn't really take in the implications of being the only one there, only mildly wondering where her teammates might be, before deciding that Sasuke was obviously doing some sort of awesome thing chuunin did early in the morning and Naruto, equally obviously, was harrassing him and causing problems. She resolved to smack him one when he showed up.

No, her first incling that something just might be wrong was when Kakashi arrived, _on time_, and accompanied by a second Jounin.

"...And you usually leave them here _how long_?"

Kakashi blithely ignored her question.

"Yo, Sakura. Little change of plans... Until further notice, you'll be working with Kurenai's team. Don't worry, I'll still be training you too."

Sakura blinked slowly.

"You trained me?" She asked, with honest curiosity and bewilderment, leaving Kakashi with a huge sweatdrop.

"Uh... Land of Wave, Tree climbing? Ring any bells?"

Sakura frowned, then snapped her fingers.

"Oh, right, I remember! I managed it on the first try and you sent me off to guard the smelly, drunk bridge-builder, then ignored me for the rest of the week."

Kakashi chuckled nervously as Kurenai rubbed at her temples.

"I don't believe it... you really _are_ that bad of a sensei."

"Hey, I had to... uh, recover... from the fight with Zabuza."

"And you sent her out to guard his _target, alone_ when you knew that his _accomplice_ was still completely undamaged. I read the mission reports. Did the possibility of the accomplice attacking and taking them both out never once cross your mind?"

"Er... well... that is..."

"Kakashi? Shut up. Every time you open your mouth, my desire to murder you grows."

Kakashi obliged and tugged at the rope holding the big scroll tied to his back, dropping it to the ground as he tugged three more, much smaller ones, from his pocket.

"Sign the big one and take the small ones with you to study later. Kakashi will help you with them, _under my supervision!_" She snarled the last, causing Kakashi to flinch backwards before controlling himself.

Sakura just stared in awe.

"Wow... Kakashi-sensei is terrified of you. Could you teach me how to do that, miss?"

Kakashi twitched as Kurenai smiled evilly.

"Oh, please call me Kurenai-sensei. And this idiot is just afraid that I'll make him think he's a cat and tie him up in the Inuzuka compound again. Speaking of which, your files say you're a genjutsu type, so I should have a bunch to teach you once I know how many you know already."

"Absolutely none!" She chirped, leaving Kurenai glaring at a certain white-haired man who had just broken out into a cold sweat.

"I... I see. Please, tell me that he at least taught you water-walking at some point?"

Sakura shook her head in a negative. Crimson eyes flashed and Kakashi found himself suddenly at the bottom of a well.

"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!" Came a malevolent hiss from above. Kakashi whimpered, beginning to wonder if, maybe, life as the 'demonstration dummy' could possibly be worse than this.

...

Yes. Yes, on reflection, it probably could. Anko was very good friends with Kurenai, after all, and was probably the one that had taught her how to make genjutsu like this. The two would egg each other on and... well, it wouldn't be pleasant at all.

In the real world, Sakura ignored the way Kakashi had dropped to the ground and begun cuddling himself in the fetal position as Kurenai gave her a quick rundown on the water-walking technique, using the nearby river. Sakura picked it up almost immediately, and she moved on to a few basic genjutsu as they began heading to team eight's meeting ground.

Sakura was so excited that she never thought to ask about why they'd left Kakashi behind, or where her other two teammates were.

xxx

"Hey, hey wait!"

Naruto ignored Tayuya's complaints as he continued down the road. He also ignored the kunai she chucked at his head, only bothering to tilt his head to the side enough for it to pass harmlessly by.

"Don't _ignore_ me, fucker! You're going the wrong damn way, idiot, Otogakure is _that_ way!"

Naruto spun to face her.

"Well you see, theres a simple explanation for that. We aren't, in fact, going to go to Otogakure. Instead, we are going to an undisclosed location of my choice, where there should be a different secret base waiting for us when we arrive."

"Eh? Wha... But!" She stammered out.

"Of course, if you so choose you may of course abandon your post and return to Orochimaru in shame, having both failed to secure my alliegance to whatever dastardly plans he may have in mind, _and_ failing to insert yourself as a spy into my own secret lair, from which you could have made regular reports upon whatever activities I should happen to get up to. He'll probably execute you immediately, but that's not really important, eh?"

"Y'know, he's kinda got a point, Tayuya..." Sakon pointed out. "Orochimaru-sama doesn't take failures at all well."

"And he _would_ expect us to go with that second option as a plan B." Jiroubo continued.

Tayuya just stared dead ahead, possibly imagining the results of returning to Oto without Naruto. She twitched violently.

"That is unless, of course, you think that you can drag me into Orochimaru's service by _force_?" Naruto asked, letting just a hint of killing intent through. She twitched again.

"I... you... fine! It doesn't look like we've got much fucking choice, do we."

"Mm... It does seem that I have you over a barrel, don't I? Ah, don't mope, it's not that bad. I've no intention of keeping you from sending reports to your benevolent master, and you can feel free to leave or attempt to over power me at any time... though, I'll have to warn you not to attack me in my sleep." He grinned before continuing. "If you do, I might accidentally tear you limb from limb before I'm fully awake, and that would be terrible... the bloodstains would _never_ come out of my PJs."

Tayuya, suitably cowed, slipped back into position with the rest of the Oto group in the rear. The Suna twins were keeping pace with Naruto much easier, as they all had some sort of transportation that didn't involve much effort on their part. Either flying, on fan or a cloud of sand, or riding on the back of a puppet. In contrast to the others, they were much fresher and less cranky.

Even so, it was hours before they came to a stop at the base of a mountain. Naruto shaded his eyes to look at the sun and mumbled something to himself.

"haa... So where's your 'Secret Lair', asshole? I'm tired, and hungry, and we'd have been at Oto an hour and a fucking half ago if you'd been reasonable and done what I wanted, and-"

"Shush. Hmm... We're slightly early. It should be arriving any moment, now."

"Arriving!" Tayuya shrieked as the rest of the Sound Four groaned and covered their ears. "You fucking incompetent retard, Lairs don't just 'Arrive'! They're either there or they're not there until you build them, and you damn well better not expect us to-"

She was cut off with a low, ominous hum filled the air and a huge, glowing circle of runes appeared on the ground. The hum rapidly increased in volume as a very recognizable building faded into view, then ceased as the runes dimmed and flickered out.

"Well, it looks like our secret lair just arrived." Naruto said, ignoring the stunned looks from pretty much everyone as he waltzed past the guardians, followed closely by Gaara, with Kimmimaro's corpse floating next to her in a cocoon of sand. Tayuya's eyes had actually glazed over as her brain tried to process the smackdown to her relatively logical worldview.

xxx

"Hmm... oh dear."

"Can you fix him or not, Flonne?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. His body is in relatively good condition, and fresh enough that his soul still has faint ties to it. The problem is that he has a long-term, terminal medical condition. I'm afraid that if we simply brought him back to life, he'd just die again after a few minutes."

"Ah... that does sound like a problem. Also explains why he's dead in the first place, now that I think of it."

A long silence fell as the newbies stared at the bubbly blond poking and prodding at Kimmimaro's cadaver. Those of them from Oto weren't exactly unused to such a sight... Kabuto was quite open about his experiments, interests, and proclivities... but it was still jarring to watch.

"Well, I'm afraid there's nothing for it. We'll just have to confine his spirit while we build him a new body. The process should take, oh... three or four days."

"That... sounds fast." Naruto deadpanned. "All of that, shouldn't it be more like three or four weeks?"

"Ah, but you forget, I'm the best healer in all the Netherrealms! You run along now and leave me to my work."

Naruto shrugged and began to wander off, entourage crowded behind him.

"Okay, couple of simple rules to follow for as long as you're here. Number one... don't pick a fight with someone unless you either know full well you can win, or happen not to mind dying. The odds are pretty good that your opponent won't be feeling lenient. Number two, do not interfere with the fights of others unless you know you can take them both, or if you happen not to mind dying. They will both turn on you and kill you before going back to their own fight. Number three, do not bother the guy with blue hair unless you have a very good reason or, again, happen not to mind dying. If he decides that your reason isn't good enough, he'll kill you for being irritating. Any questions?"

Kankurou raised a hand.

"Why is this place so creepy?"

"None of your concern, make-up boy. Any _relevant_ questions?"

"When do we eat?" Called Jiroubou at about the same time as Kidoumaru asked "Where do we sleep?"

Naruto snapped his fingers and about a half-dozen prinnies waddled into the room.

"Speak with one of the prinnies, they will lead you to a room and prepare a meal for you. If that's all? I have business to take care of, excuse me."

He had to do two things. First, buy a replacement for the sword Itachi had stolen. Second, come up with a plan to kill the bastard. For the moment, he was still slightly stronger, and that illusion technique gave him a temporary advantage. Naruto wasn't exactly used to feeling pain anymore. The opponents he faced in the item world were typically either so weak that they couldn't hurt him at all, or strong enough to kill him in just one or two hits, without leaving him much time in between to register the pain before he died. In reality, those birds shouldn't have been able to do anything at all... in the illusion, he'd been weaker and frailer than he'd been even when he was a human, and the birds had torn through his soft skin and flesh as they devoured his organs. He'd not even been allowed to die to escape the pain.

Yes, that technique definitely had to go. But how to be absolutely sure of avoiding it?

Meanwhile, a very awkward conversation was taking place. Gaara had cornered Temari and described the experience Itachi had put her through in vague enough terms that she didn't vomit immediately, but clearly enough that she understood the situation perfectly. Kankurou had gone to huddle in a corner, humming softly to himself, and wishing he was anywhere but there.

"... Uh... I'm not sure, exactly, how you want me to help, Gaara?" Temari managed to stammer out after working her mouth soundlessly for several moments.

"I require advice."

"O-okay... advice. Well, I'm not a therapist, but I guess I can help there... I hope. Gimme a minute..." She took a deep breath. "Okay, shoot."

"The experience was... confusing."

"I'll bet." Temari mumbled under her breath before continuing. "Confusing how, Gaara?"

"The sensations were entirely painful at first. After a short time, however, I began to feel a series of pleasurable sensations, the like of which I had never before felt. I enjoyed them, but hated myself for enjoying them, and hated that person with the fury and intensity of the most terrible sandstorms once the illusion came to an end. I wished to commit atrocities upon his corpse that even the demon seemed to temporarily balk at. On the other hand, once I had come out of my homicidal rage, I found myself with a renewed desire to feel those sensations again, but do not fully understand why."

Kankurou calmly stood up, walked calmly to the nearest wall, and slammed his head repeatedly into it until he fell backwards, twitching slightly, and with blood trickling from his forehead. One way or another, he'd decided, he would be having no part of this discussion.

Temari had no such option, and simply stared at Gaara for several moments before turning and waving a prinny over.

"Bring me a bottle of whatever the strongest booze you guys have in stock is. No, on second thought, make that two. I'll be _damned_ if I'm going to remember anything at all about this."

xxx

"Hokage-sama!"

Sarutobi was happy to nudge his paperwork to the side as an overexcited messenger crashed into the room.

"Yes?"

"Hokage-sama, that inn that you ordered us to investigate... it's not there?"

Sarutobi stood up, ignoring the complaints of his body.

"What do you mean? Buildings can't just dissappear!"

"Well, sir, it seems like this one has. And not only is it not there, but there's no trace that it ever existed in the first place!"

"... Show me."

It was only a span of minutes before the two arrived at the clearing that had formerly contained an inn, with several shinobi already there and inspecting the scene.

"Gone, without a trace..." The sandaime whispered to himself. "And not only that... weeks worth of thick grass, the dirt doesn't seem to have been disturbed recently, and these saplings show several years worth of growth... but they're growing right through where the building should have been." He shook his head. "Tenzou?"

"Even with Mokuton, sir," the ANBU answered. "This sort of thing is simply impossible. It would have left traces that couldn't have been concealed."

Sarutobi frowned and stroked his beard.

"I see... I want reports. Get me everything we know about this patch of land, any rumors or superstitions. Get me Kakashi, I need to know everything he knows, what he saw of the building, what he saw inside, about the people inside. I want to know everything. At this point I'm not yet ruling out enemy action, or even supernatural phenomena."

"Hai!"

It was only a few hours later that he recieved his first truly troubling report, about how a number of Suna and Oto nin had been spotted entering that training ground by several civilians, but had apparently not come out of the other side. Given Kakashi's assertations that none of the inhabitants of the inn could have been ninja, aside from Naruto at least, that was troubling indeed.

The Bijuu were more than enough proof of the existence of the supernatural for even the most stubborn of people. This was more than enough to start the Hokage researching ancient myths that had before been ruled as foolish fairytales, suitable only to be repeated between gullible civilians.

At this point, nothing at all could yet be ruled out.

xxx

Iruka was in heaven. Quite literally, in fact. Despite the fact that Ninja's were typically, by simple dint of their profession, slated for a one-way trip to the other place, Iruka had somehow made his way through life without commiting any serious sins, and had acquired enough good karma through his actions to push the balance toward the positive end of the spectrum.

Of course, heaven was quickly discovered to be a very boring place. Very picturesque, yes, but nothing really ever happened. Every day was pretty much exactly like every other. Very nice days, all of them, but still...

That was why he'd decided to sign up as a Trainee Angel, rather than simply remaining an ascended soul. Sure, the whole sprouting of wings thing had been creepy, and they were entirely too cute for him to feel comfortable, but the Angels actually went and did things every now and then. Iruka simply couldn't just sit around and do nothing for the rest of eternity! Even the gofer tasks and the infuriating paperwork that the more experienced Angels fobbed off on him was better than that!

Even so, his mouth had gone dry and his palms had begun to sweat when he'd recieved the message.

"S-seraph Lamington, sir? You sent for me?"

There was a soft rustle of feathers as the Seraph acknowledged his prescence.

"Um, sir? If I'm allowed to ask, why did you summon me?"

"Hmm... Listen carefully. Even though we angels have been at peace with the residents of the demonic worlds for many years now, there is still a great deal of anti-demon sentiment. Most simply hide those feelings deep inside, and don't reveal them, no matter what. Even so, diplomatic ambassadors have to be sent, every now and then, for a short time. But if I send someone who hates demons unconditionally, and they lose control of themselves, it could have vast repurcussions. It could even spark a war."

"I... I see." And actually, Iruka _did_ see. The Hokage had often had that same problem when assigning missions, to make sure that things went smoothly. It would have been just plain stupid to send Kakashi and team seven on a mission to Iwa, for instance. No matter how many years ago the war had been, the fact that Kakashi had been the fourth's student, and the fact that Naruto was blonde with blue eyes, was a combination that was almost completely certain to spark enough tempers that at least one Iwa-nin would end up attacking them, and that would lead to all sorts of sticky political morasses.

"That is why I'm sending you as my ambassador to the demon Overlord, Laharl."

Iruka nodded. That, too, made perfect... wait...

"Wait, what?"

xxx

"An' so y'see, that's the basics of th' matter."

"You seem to have misunderstood my question. I already have a functional knowledge of the act itself."

"Yeah..." Temari hiccuped and flushed heavily as she covered her mouth. "Kinda guessed... Jus' wanned t' make sure I was good'n blitzed 'fore I got to the next bit. Anyway, some... people, I guess, prefers t' be the submissive inna relationshipsh. They prefers t' be domininated an' ravished by their... uh, partner. Now, there'sh... there's nothing wrong with that!" She continued quickly, flushing heavily from the images that the conversation was bringing to mind. "If thash what y'like, that's wha' y'like. Nothin'... Nothing a'tall wrongaboudit."

Gaara nodded slowly, managing to translate the sentiments, for the most part, despite the slurring speech. Temari shifted nervously and poured herself some more alcohol.

"An' there's nothin' wrong with you at all, even if that'sh what y'like, an' nobody's judgin' you for it." She quickly knocked back the drink and poured herself another cup. "Th' bit... Th' bitsh that y'didn' like was bein' forced, I'm thinkings... So y'likes t' be dominated, but only s'long as you have a... a wassit... a word thingy to call itall off, if y'wants. Safe word, thas th' one. Y'wants a safe word for when you're with... with, uh... who's you interested in, again."

Gaara considered not answering but saw no reason to conceal it.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

There was moments hesitation, then Temari's flush returned and expanded until it seemed to glow as image after image shot through her head. She started to pour another glass, but changed her mind only a moment into the action and took a long pull from the bottle itself.

"Alrigh'... A'right, there's nothing wron' wi' that... Just, uh... uh, take't slow... _real_ slow, wit' stuff y'both like t'do, until, uh... until y'know for sure wehether'r not he... uh... _returns_ your, um, intererest. Er... that is..."

Seeing that she'd get no more information out of Temari, who had turned into an embarassed, stammering mess through the combination of the alcohol and the subject matter, Gaara stood and left the room quietly. Temari herself took several long moments and deep breaths to compose herself.

"Wow." She mumbled to herself. "An' here I thought that it would be Kankurou, if eith'r of 'em were... like _that_. He's been stealin' my makup f'r _years_, li'l ashole."

xxx

"The trail is scrambled here." Kuromaru growled softly. Personally, he thought his partner was going a little overboard. If the boy was pack, then he was pack. If he was not pack, then he wasn't. With no real way to tell, he felt it best to simply continue to treat Uzumaki Naruto much the same as they always had, or perhaps a little better to account for the slim possibility that he was, indeed, pack. Guilt and doubt were entirely human emotions.

Emotions that his human partner was wracked with, lending truth to the saying that humans were the weaker half of the Inuzuka.

"You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, woman!" Kuromaru snapped before controlling himself. "I apologize, Tsume. His scent is all over this patch of forest. There was a fight here, I'm sure of it. After the fight, his scent goes two different directions, but the trail is faint, and with the rain coming soon it will be lost. Hm?" He sniffed again. "That Uchiha passed through as well, and his scent is fresher. There's something odd about it, though... and there's another scent that was here at about the same time Naruto was, that arrived with a man who smells of the ocean. Wasn't there another Uchiha?"

"Itachi! The kinslayer..." Tsume's fists tightened and her knuckles went white. "Years ago, he was skilled enough that, for his own twisted amusement, he murdered _his own pack_ all in the span of a single night. Sasuke was the only one spared. If Itachi was here..."

Kuromaru sniffed again and growled softly.

"One of the scents leaves with the ocean scent and Itachi. The other left with the other group. That leaves altogether too many unpleasant but possible scenarios. Just a bit of blood or something he's touched recently could have left the trails, after all."

A small trickle of blood fell from where Tsume's claw-like nails had dug into her palms before she forced her muscles to relax.

"There's... nothing we can do, I guess. We're too close to the border, and can't cross it without the possibility of sparking a diplomatic incident with another country. And on top of that, we've only got just enough time to get back to Konoha before someone notices we're gone and starts wondering where we are."

"Yes... time to head back."

Tsume quickly mounted her partner for a little extra speed as he began a loping run back to Konoha.

xxx

Naruto, meanwhile, was in the middle of an unexpected battle, and cursing the fact that Laharl had decided to make the halls so wide and the cieling so tall. It made things far too easy for Zabuza, who's wildest swings didn't even come close to scratching them. They were, however, coming uncomfortably close to Naruto himself.

"You _lost_ your _sword_!" Zabuza bellowed as he brought the Kubikiri Houchou down in an overhand chop for Naruto's head, eyes glowing with unbridled rage. That patch of floor would never be quite the same again.

"Hey, there were circumstances, all right? And I was on my way to buy a new one anyway-"

"That's _not the point_!" Zabuza roared again through the bandages covering the lower half of his face. "_You lost your __**sword**_, and you're brushing it off like it's nothing!"

Naruto winced softly at the accusation. Zabuza growled softly and forced himself to put his blade away.

"Even against opponents that outmatch you, even against superior skill and power, even outnumbered a thousand to one, you _never_ lose hold of your sword! Now, you're going to buy another sword, a better one, and I'm going to run you into the ground training with it. Against other demons, just swinging widely and relying on the techniques the sword gives you is more than enough, but I'm going to beat some _skill_ and_ finesse_ into that thick head of yours, to go with all the raw power."

Zabuza glowered darkly.

"And the next time you find the fucker that took your sword, you're gonna _shove it down his throat_, you understand?"

"Yeah!" Naruto replied, feeling a now-familiar flicker of bloodlust at the very suggestion. A soft cough interrupted them as Haku faded into view.

"Zabuza-sama. Laharl-sama requires our service on a certain matter..."

Zabuza grunted and flipped a small scroll to Naruto.

"Change of plans. You buy a sword and master everything on that scroll before I get back. Might be a few days, maybe a week or two. If you aren't finished when I'm back, I'm gonna beat you till you can't move, understand?"

Naruto ignored him, already unrolling the scroll and scanning the contents as Zabuza snorted and left. Ah... oh. The basics of the basics for swordsmanship. This didn't look fun at all... which meant he had to get it out of the way as soon as possible, so he could spend his time on more amusing pursuits.

xxx

"They aren't here. Kabuto, _why_ are they not here?"

"They... they should be on their way. Spies reported a sudden upheaval in Konoha yesterday evening. However, Orochimaru-sama, I have much more dire news... Your hand... You've complained of pain and slight swelling, restricting your range of motion, am I right? I fear that somehow... the turncoat suna Jinchuuriki embedded a fragment of its demonic chakra into its attack, injecting it into the very bones of your hand and, like an infection, it has begun to slowly eat away at the surrounding matter! I... Orochimaru-sama, I don't know what to do."

Kabuto shook his head, obviously distraught at his failure.

"Ever since the preliminary scans, when I thought it _was_ just the start of a simple infection and tried to deal with it accordingly... But nothing works! It's malignant, like a tumor with a mind of its own, and it fights off everything I try to do to remove it!"

Orochimaru arched an eyebrow as he lifted his bandaged hand and flexed the fingers lightly.

"Fascinating. I was unaware that the container of Shukaku had such an ability. Perhaps the container itself is unaware... what records we have indicate it kills immediately. Or perhaps this is simply a fluke of misfortune. You believe then, Kabuto, that the problem will only get worse?"

"I... Yes, Orochimaru-sama. Also, I fear that my attempts to remove it, have caused its rate of growth to increase. Forgive me my blunder."

Orochimaru hissed softly.

"Nothing for it. Do you propose amputation?"

"Truthfully, I'm uncertain if even such drastic measures would remove it in its entirety. Instead, I advise that you move to a new body at the next available opportunity, and leave the demonic infection to poison and consume the one you currently inhabit."

"Yes... a new body... That reminds me._Why_ are they not here yet, Kabuto?"

Kabuto sighed as the reality of his master's plight completely shot past his one-track mind.

"Naruto-kun is the closest thing that the Uchiha has to a friend." Orochimaru continued. "So wherever Naruto-kun goes, Sasuke will not be far behind, trailing in the hopes of catching Naruto-kun in a moment of weakness, for the opportunity to advance his Sharingan... but I do not need the Mangekyou. A blind Sharingan is worthless to me, and Itachi would sooner destroy his eyes than allow me to steal them, even if I were wearing his brother's face. All I need is Sasuke's Sharingan, for the moment."

Ah... so perhaps he did understand after all.

"Even so, Orochimaru-sama..." Kabuto demurred. "Sasuke achieved the second level on his own. There was no opportunity to reinforce the sense of loyalty tied to you through the seal. It may well have faded entirely. Can you keep him in line? The only other that could be kept in line without the artificial loyalty was Juugo himself... and even he only ever responded to Kimmimaro, during his fits. Not you."

Orochimaru considered that, then snorted.

"Sasuke is... leagues behind the likes of Itachi and Naruto-kun. To stand any chance against Itachi, he needs the Mangekyou. To get that, he needs to kill Naruto-kun. But Naruto-kun is possibly even harder to kill than Itachi would be. With Naruto having left Konoha, Sasuke is left trailing behind with nobody to teach him. He will happily accept instruction from me, at whatever price I should choose to set."

He frowned.

"But that brings us back to the matter at hand. Where _are_ they?"

Kabuto sighed deeply.

"I'll send out a squad of hunters to find and escort them back, Orochimaru-sama."

xxx

Sasuke himself was... completely, totally, and utterly lost. He'd managed to follow the trail in his cursed form, without even taking a moment to wonder how exactly he was doing so, as he'd never bothered to learn tracking techniques before. Then, about halfway between the odd sand pit and the borders of Fire, he'd started running out of chakra and shifted back to normal.

Suddenly, the night had become much quieter, darker, and the scent trails he'd been following without realizing what they were were completely indetectable. To top that, he'd collapsed, tumbling down a hill. When he'd come to, he was floating down a river, thankfully face up, and the sun had begun to rise.

He... Truthfully, he hadn't even considered the possibility that his cursed form had superior senses to those of his normal one. The only sense he'd concerned himself with was sight, and the Sharingan had been the same in both. Sharingan couldn't track scent, though.

"'You aren't used to that body, yet'." He whispered to himself. "He was right. But..."

How long, then, had Naruto had his own transformation? Sasuke had finally begun to question everything. He'd evolved his cursed seal during the last stage of the chuunin exams, and it had barely been a week since the invasion. Naruto had obviously had his for much longer... but when had he awakened it?

The first time... the first time Sasuke could recall him using the demon power was on the bridge in wave. He hadn't seen it himself, but Sakura had happily described the feeling to him. The second time had been in the forest of... Sasuke paused. Hadn't Naruto said something about that being the third time? Yes... Sasuke was almost sure he had, though the pain of the recently-applied curse seal had made those memories foggy. Then the second time would have been...

The mission where he'd killed the demon brothers. Sasuke hadn't seen much, but Naruto had been bloody up to the elbow, and Kakashi had taken a small amount of time afterwards alone with him... teaching him something, maybe? That would explain what the Hokage had said... 'rewarding' him for tapping into the demon power.

But at that point, would still have been disinclined to use it? Had he begun experimenting with that power then, as a failsafe, a weapon of last resort? And then in the forest, against Orochimaru, something had changed him so that his last resort became his first... although, come to think of it, it wasn't like Naruto had ever had many resorts to speak of. He had the shadow clones and... well, that was pretty much it. Had Kakashi ever actually taught him an attack jutsu, or cleaned up his sloppy taijutsu forms?

Things were slowly beginning to click into place, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel disgusted at the actions of his sensei... _former_ sensei.

Then another niggling little detail pointed itself out. That ghost thing, before the month of training... he'd almost completely forgotten it, or written it off as his imagination, but it had definitely been there. But what was it? Was it really a... ghost? Then there was that creepy hotel... Sasuke frowned.

"Naruto..." he mumbled.

He would figure this out. He would learn all of the blonde's unexpected wellspring of secrets, and only then would he kill him off. Sasuke grinned as he continued to float downstream, towards the ocean.

Now... if only he could just convince his body to move.

xxx

"We should have a party." Gecko decided, apparently out of the blue and with no prior indication.

"Why?"

"To celebrate our recent move, of course." The overgrown lizard stated with an air of finality.

"But... technically, none of us moved. We're still living in the same house."

"Ah, but the _house_ moved, didn't it Mihoshi? Therefore, we moved with it."

"It... still doesn't seem like there's much of an occasion..."

"_Any_ occasion is a good occasion for a party."

Mihoshi the Kunoichi considered that for a long moment before grudgingly ceding the point.

"So... who's paying? Or did you forget that the bosses have flatly refused to fund this sort of thing without getting clearance from them first?"

There was a long drawn out silence as Gecko considered that.

"Well... uh... hmm. Is there a... I don't know, a bank or something nearby?"

Hours later, Orochimaru would suddenly acquire a piercing headache as a report came in that an unknown Kunoichi and her Lizard-ish summon had raided one of his back up treasuries. Nothing they'd taken was irreplaceable, of course, as he kept all the truly unique and valuable things much more well hidden and guarded, but it was the simple principle of the matter. They had dared to steal from Orochimaru.

He tacked a reasonable bounty on their heads and sent a copy to every nukenin gathering spot he was aware of. Surely one of them would be happy to deal with the little problem for him.

Then the hunters returned, having found no trace of Naruto-kun _or_ Sasuke, or even his Sound Four, and the headache evolved into a splitting migraine.

Yes, those hunters were the best of the best. By the smell of them, they'd thoroughly investigated every single bar, pub, and brewery between Otogakure itself and the Fire border, perhaps going above and beyond the call of duty and spreading even further before they returned. Orochimaru executed them immediately and made a note to nudge up the hiring requirements just a bit. As a new village, Oto did need the warm bodies, but this was just plain ridiculous!

xxx

A.N.

Mmm... slightly shorter than average, I guess, and apologize for it.

Just finally got ahold of and read through from just after the time-skip to somewhere around chapter... can't remember. Four hundred something, I guess, and I have the burning urge now to hunt down Kishimoto and _kick him in the face_! Lots of the story was pretty nifty actually, and I now know exactly what that blasted 'Susano'o' technique that I'd seen floating around here and there is, but damn if a couple of things didn't piss me off. First, Sasuke's ever-evolving Sharingan! The first three stages, one comma, two comma, three comma, that's fine. Mangekyou too, I get that. Then there's the super-Mangekyou thingy that comes from tearing out and assimilating your little brother's eyes (WTF?), which was a little iffy, but I could have gotten over it eventually. Then theres... I don't even know how to describe it. That freaking _thing_ that Sasuke has when he hooks up with Akatsuki. Seriously, what the hell? Second, _he turned Itachi into a good guy_! God damn... I didn't like Itachi much, even as a bad guy, that's true, but turning him into a good guy, even at the very last moment, is just plain horrible.

Slapping the AU sticker on this fic right here, right now. Itachi is a bad person, and no amount of this 'Canon' 'Evidence' stuff will convince me otherwise. Madara spun a fairy tale and implanted a couple false memories somehow and Sasuke, like the driven idiot he is, accepted it witout much question. Now Madara is using him to his own ends. There, that's the reality I accept, none of this peace-loving hippy Itachi turning around and slaughtering his clan under orders crap.

Third, Itachi threw the fight against Sasuke. Once again, WTF? Gaaahgh... I hate the canon so much right now... I'll probably read the rest anyway, but I'll hate it while I read it, and when I write I'm going to pretend that the series ended at the timeskip. After that came a new series called 'Sasuke' that took advantage of the old ones popularity to sell truckloads of pre-packaged horseshit to an unsuspecting populace.

Eh, rant out of the way, Orochimaru is _not_ going to get Sasuke's body, no matter how hard he tries. I've got plans for the both of them... half-baked plans that'll probably flop, but still. Naruto is not goint to conquer Rice country and rip the crown of leadership out of Orochimaru's hands... _yet_. Remember, he's going to first consolidate himself in the local makai before he starts conquering the human realm. Sasuke is going to dig deeper and deeper into the power of that curse seal once he washes ashore somewhere. I've got plans for Sakura too, but am not going into them yet. Laharl hasn't shown up much recently, has he? Sorry, lots of characters to keep straight. He'll show up again eventually, as will anyone else I leave out of the loop for a while. Mini-Kyuubi is having his own offscreen problems, but he'll show up again too.

That's about it, I guess. The next chapter will be up... whenever it's finished... which might be a while, or might be pretty soon. This 'real life' thing has been bugging me a bunch recently, and it looks like I'm going to have to deal with it. Sigh.


End file.
